A Mother’s Venom

Cue circus music…. I envision myself balancing these long poles with plates spinning on each. Lately I have picked up a couple more plates. They are good plates. Plates that I have been working towards adding. So up they go onto the pole, spinning.
Today I dropped a plate (metaphorically speaking). It was one of the most beautiful and valuable. It was the mother plate.

I unleashed my toxic mom venom through my attitude, words and actions with my boys.
I hate when I willingly choose to give them the leftovers of my day.

I yelled at them to “STOP YELLING!” I sighed a lot. I snapped a reply when asked a question. I treated my most precious treasures as if they were an inconvenience.

“So what now?” You ask.
How do I right my wrong?

~ I acknowledge that my behavior is unacceptable.
~ I abandon all expectations of how they will respond. I am responsible for how I respond and communicate, not how another person receives and communicates back.

I ask for forgiveness, I cut myself some slack.

Tomorrow is a new day. A fresh start. A clean beginning. That is grace. Grace so undeserving that it can only come from our Creator and the author of our story.

Here’s the deal, I am going to have to put down at least one plate. Which one? How do you choose?!

I invite God in to the process and simply say, “Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” More will be revealed as I seek His will, His face and His heart.

How many plates are you spinning? Ever dropped one?

3 thoughts on “A Mother’s Venom

  1. Joy, your posts are as multi-faceted as your personality. I love all this variety and spontaneity. Are you sure there’s only one person inside your pretty head? By the way, I love the drawing, too. Where did you find it?

  2. I can relate all to well! Some wise person once said to me when I found myself in a similar situation that the Bible says love covers all sin (Proverbs 10:12) and love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 2:8). Now put them together, love covers all sin even when its a multitude! Drive hard into God – for God is love (1 John 4:8b). Let Him cover and fill you first, then follow His peace as you pick and spin.

    I appreciate you and how you are touching my family!
    Pam C.

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