When You Wanna Quit…Everything

Ever have a day where you wanted to run away with only the clothes on your back?

It just feels like too much.
Too much noise.
Too much stuff.
Too much maintenance.
Too much drama.
Too much responsibility.
It’s tooooooooo dang much!
(Notice no one ever says, “Too much money.”)

Mystery Leak

I said to a plumber the other day, who came to fix the mystery leak in our ceiling, (refer to picture), as he was breaking down the cost to explore the issue, “It suuuuuuuucks being an adult today.”

He looked at me and 1/2 chuckled as to say, “I have no idea how to respond? We just met and I think you might be crazy.”

He looked back at Chris who was now looking at me grinning, as I continued,
“No, for real. Do you feel it? The suckage of adulthood right now, in this moment, cause I sure do!”

The Green Bucket

I then made my dramatic exit, walked up the stairs and pretended there wasn’t a large green bucket in the foyer catching dripping water and the occasional piece of soaked sheetrock falling from the ceiling.

I’m ignoring the fact that the water is off in the house so I cannot wash my hands and I’m a tad OCD about germ control. And HELLO we all know the best way to prevent illness is through proper handwashing!

Anywho… by this point, I’m sitting on the fluffy bathroom floor mat. Feet against one wall, back against the other. The fan is on (sound control people) and the door is locked (no interruptions). Eyes closed. (I distract easily)

Have you ever looked around and blamed your circumstances?
Your husband? Your children? That extra pudge around my middle from the holiday indulgences?

I get it!
I’m right there with you!

And when I’m in these moments (that, I’m not gonna lie, sometimes stretch into days), I want to remember what I’ve experienced to be true every day of my life… (it’s important when you’re freaking out to speak truth to your destructive thoughts)

  • Feelings are temporary. Making permanent decisions based on temporary emotions always produces a negative outcome.
  • Mama’s need a lot more grace than we give ourselves.
  • Sometimes all the demands we feel the world placing on us are coming more from us than anyone/where else. (Ouch, right? The truth hurts)
  • Don’t underestimate the power of saying, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Especially with children. They are so much more forgiving than we give them credit for.
  • Maybe you just need to reconnect with your partner. (wink, wink)
  • It’s okay to stop mid-sentence and admit to being overly dramatic. It has been my experience that my husband never makes me feel bad about pausing to laugh at the energy I’m bringing to any given situation.

When I calm down enough to admit that I’m being ridiculous, I’m able to think through what running away would actually look like… my coffee habit alone is enough to deter me.

So whadda ya say?
This year, today, right now, can we I practice gratitude?
Better yet, am I willing to be grateful even when the ceiling’s falling in (literally)?

Good news on the mystery leak that stumped a Plumber, a Roofer, and a General Contractor.
After being manly and cutting away a bigger part of the ceiling, Chris found the source of the problem. (Isn’t that just like him?!)
View the video to see what happened.

As you may have expected, his hotness skyrocketed after defusing my bomb of emotions and worry and a leaky copper pipe in the ceiling that professionals couldn’t figure out. Turns out, Chris is consistently defusing potential explosions of all sorts every day.

The next time I wanna run away, I’ll come here instead. I have a whole new appreciation for my husband. Thanks, Y’all!

It feels good to be back. I’ve missed this space.
Here’s to more time writing in 2019!

6 thoughts on “When You Wanna Quit…Everything

  1. I”m 13 months sober and refuse to call sober women on the phone. I dont want to and my sponsor says I”m being willful. I never speak at meeting and lately my praying is not going so hot either, So the other day she gave me an assignment, I had to do a gratitude list from A-Z. Im still coming up short on a few letters,

    • Congratulations on being 13 months sober, Rhonda!

      Would you be willing to text other women? I get not wanting to call them. I can relate to that.

      It has been my experience that when I am grasping for control is when I buck up against my sponsor’s guidance.
      When I finally got sober it was my 3rd real attempt so the desperation was palpable. I found a sponsor I trusted implicitly. If she had told me to stand on my head for a certain amount of time per day, I would have.
      I knew if I couldn’t stay sober, I would die.

      One of the most important things, in my opinion, the Big book says is in step 3, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
      It starts with a decision.
      For me, most things do.

      It’s been a tough 13 months to be sober. Wow. That’s huge that you have been able to remain sober.

      At times I have found the most effective prayer to be, “God help me.”
      It doesn’t have to be long or complicated.
      It just needs to be authentic.

      I would encourage you to have 2 go-to prayers.
      Gratitude and Surrender.

      I wake up in the morning and before getting out of bed say, “Thank you, God, for giving me breath in my lungs and legs that work to get me out of the bed.”
      When I need help during the day, I surrender my will over to my higher power by saying, “God please direct my thinking…my steps…the work of my hands…the words from my mouth.”
      Before going to bed I say, “Thank you for today. Now please help me rest in peace.”

      I hope this encourages you on this beautiful Monday 🙂

  2. Hi Sweetie…I am now 76 years old, alone, and still feel that way at times. If I am not taking care
    of my 94 year old sister, I am doing church work or doing my own housework. Thank you for
    writing this, we all feel this way at times, but God is always right there to re-energize us and give
    us grace for the days ahead.

    • I love this, Miss Janie!
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting and letting me know I’m not alone in the struggle 🙂 !
      May God bless you and keep you, may He make His face shine upon you and give you peace.

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