Good morning, my beautiful baby boy.

It’s been quite awhile since I last wrote here, and I’m not exactly sure why I’ve found myself typing here again, not sure who will read this but hoping the words spoken are an outpouring of the Spirit and can provide comfort for someone, while also healing little pieces of my broken heart as well.

This morning I have been feeling the rising tide of grief, its pulling me toward the depths, attempting to submerge me in anxiety, pain, guilt, and unmet longing. Unlike the tides of the sea, its timing is more unpredictable and often inconvenient. But it is welcome here, because grief coincides with the closeness of you. For if I cannot hold you and watch you grow, then my heart can at least welcome the clenching pangs of grief to remember you and wish for you. And much like the tides…