Finding my Muse

JoyHello Darlings! It’s been rather quiet around here lately. For those of you who have emailed and asked why I’m not consistently posting, “Thank you!” It means so much that you have missed my voice.

Please allow me to explain.

For more than a year, I have been in the process of making some rather BIG life choices. They have not been taken lightly or made in haste due to the weight they carry.

As of February 1, I am no longer employed in my comfortable position with incredible people who support me…I am officially a “Freelance Photographer” or “Self-Employed.” Isn’t that terrifying?! I am forced to take full responsibility for everything that I do even if I don’t want to. There’s no one to pass the buck to. I am the “Sole Proprietor.”

That’s right people! I’m using grown-up words. And they’re using me! I now have a CPA and an attorney. I plan for taxes long before tax season. My organized chaos is now my home office.

There are several factors that went in to my having no mode of transportation other than a leap of faith.1. I truly believe that God is leading me and he is faithful.
2. I have a man who champions my dreams while holding me accountable.
3. I believe in taking risks.

I have met some incredible people. I am working with everyone, from 4 day old babies to corporate giants. I believe that we are all spiritual beings with skin on and that rather levels the playing field. I could give you the whole speal about making a difference, blind faith and helping those who need a hand up, not a hand out, but I’ll save that speech for another day.

My purpose, here, on this page today, is to connect with my readers. With those of you who have encouraged me and moved me forward. Those of you who have trusted me with a story filled with vulnerable statements like, “I was too ashamed to post this in the comments…” I want you to know, I’m not going anywhere. I may be quiet for a bit while I’m figuring out how to integrate my writing with my photography.

For those people who say, “You can’t do both.”
I don’t agree.
There have been times in my life when I had no words, but a picture taken told the whole story.
So where I am not setting out to prove anyone wrong, I am embarking on this journey with a sound mind, a full heart and open hands. And when I allow others to make me feel like any of those things have been compromised, I quickly return to the basic truth that God is for me and when I am faithful in doing the work, He will deliver the blessings.

This first year (or three) will not be without struggle. Of that, I am fully aware. I am going into it with enthusiasm and trust. Nothing truly worth having in my life has ever come without sacrifice, humility and perseverance.

So today, friends, I am grateful. Grateful beyond the words on this page and blessed far greater than I deserve or could have ever imagined. The future is very bright.

Love and Light,
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Among the thorns

I have walked into a time of my life that is busier than any I have known before. 24 hours doesn’t seem to be enough to get everything done that needs doing. Plates are spinning high above my head on the imaginary poles I balance. And not well, mind you. The sound of china shattering happens more often than I’d like, but for the most part, I keep up the insidious act of holding it all together.

Recently I found myself asking, “Who am I…really?” “What will unfold over the next several months as I plunge into uncharted territory?” (For those of you wondering what I’m talking about, I will be leaving my current job position that I have become extremely comfortable in and exploring other opportunities at the end of December. It’s terrifying and exciting all at the same time.) What will I do, you ask. Well…I’m figuring that out.

I’m a writer.
A lover of words.
A poet at heart.
A romantic in the deepest sense of the word.
I love change.
I have fallen in love with photography.
I no longer see the world the way I once saw it.
I feel closer to God…looking at life through my lens.
The details that I never noticed now become impossible to miss.
And I will never see, even the smallest insect the same way again.

There is one place I love to go when I am stressed. This past weekend I didn’t even know I wanted to, but Chris knew I needed to go. It had been two very long work days and I was exhausted, but still eager to walk into my sanctuary of nature.

I had my camera, but didn’t plan on taking any pictures as I had been strategically photographing for several hours before I arrived. And then I stepped into one of the green houses.
Beams of sunlight streamed in across the plants and brick flooring.
The mist of humidity made it seem like you could hold the light in your hands.

It was magical and serene. It was beautiful and fragile.
It was an opportunity to be in the moment. To see God in all things. To inhale deeply and freely.

Nothing empty’s a life of the beauty of the moment faster than hurry. Call it what you will, but I believe it was God’s way of not only telling me, but showing me that his light will penetrate through absolutely anything. There’s no stopping it. There’s no hiding it. It will be made known, exposing not only the dirt and dust, but the beauty and luster of creation.

As I turned another corner, there it was again. Only in a different way. The light that pushes its way through that which tries to contain it. God knows that many times for me things have to be made blatantly obvious before I will recognize them for what they are. Before I will acknowledge the gift and the Giver.

The tension across my shoulders loosened and the stress melted away. I wasn’t anywhere else in the world. I was exactly where my feet were. In that moment. In the streams of sunlight accentuating the different shades of green on the leaves. The long slender vines stood out in a way they never had.
Okay, God, you have my attention.

From that point on, as I walked through the place I have been a dozen times before, it was as if I had never seen the surroundings. I would get lost in the detail of an orchid or the ripples of water in the copper basin. I allowed the scents of flowers in their last season of bloom to fill my nostrils and relax my mind.

As I walked 10 more steps or so, the most beautiful sight came into view.
My boys were drenched in sunlight. I watched as they moved their hands back and forth through the beams, laughing and squinting their eyes while looking up for the source of light. The tops of their heads appeared to be glowing. I couldn’t help but laugh. God, I am so undeserving of such beauty and blessings. The fact that you would give a wretch like me a day like this one proves that you are a God of mercy and grace. Thank you…Father…Thank you.

There is something God whispered to me continually through every petal, leaf, blade of grass and beam of sunlight. It was this…You are mine. Treasured. Sacred. Adored. Heir to the throne of grace. Child of the King. This life that you toil so to figure out has already been decided. This time that you say is not enough is in fact fleeting. These moments of little boys with faces full of wonder is just that, a moment. Rest. Listen. Breathe. All will be well.

I truly believe that it will.

Here are some of the beautiful captures of the day. I would encourage you to take a moment as you look through these pictures to remind yourself of how valuable you are to the Creator of all things. Blessings to you on this journey, my friend.

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Watching the Orangutan

We were at the zoo this past weekend and I had such a great time watching this orangutan do somersaults (while eating) to get where he wanted to go. He had so much character. It was a lot of fun. I hope you enjoy the slideshow.

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These moments were captured using a Canon 60D, 70-200mm f/2.8 L, in sports mode.

 

Travel Theme: Couples

“Just because an animal is large, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that
he wants as much kindness as Roo.”
~ A.A. Milne

“A little boy is truth with dirt on its face,
sunshine with a cut on its finger
&
hope for the future with a frog in its pocket.”
~ Callen AudricI wonder if the giraffe, with her elegant neck,
has to stretch before getting up in the morning?
Do you think she knows the uniqueness of her proportions and her coat?
The way her eyelashes curl as if just coming from a make-over
and her long black tongue…
she isn’t something to be explained only marveled.
Each week Ailsa over at Where’s my backpack gives a challenge. If you would like to participate and/or see the many other takes on the theme “Couples”
visit her and stay a while.

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Silhouette

Anticipating the tide.

Palm kissed sunset

All lit up

To play along or see other great interpretations of this weeks theme, click here

Weekly Photo Challenge: BiG

The challenge is SO fun this week! Think BIG.

“Few women have ever been able to resist the temptation to try on a hat
and discover in the mirror a person they never suspected was there.
A hat alters the image we have of ourselves,
and the image others see as well.
For the hours we wear it,
it brings out different dimensions in our personality,
much as a costume aids an actress in her role.”
~Unknown
© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.
One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few.
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh
© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012Shaved ice covered in pink sugary syrup.
mmmm…mmmm
Where to begin?
© Joy Cannis 2012“When I grow up, I’m gonna be an astronaut so I can eat ice cream in outer space!”
~ The logic of a 4 yr. old
© Joy Cannis 2012“When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer,
a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me!
Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts.
Let God speak within you, and your thoughts will grow silent.
You are anxious because your path leads away from mother and home.
But every step and every day lead you back again to the mother.
Home is neither here nor there.
Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.”
~ Hermann Hesse
© Joy Cannis 2012Want to see more interpretations of big? Click here

Furry, Four~Legged, Friends

“Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though.
That’s the problem.”

~ A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”

~ Robert A. Heinlein