Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.
We set a timer, throw caution to the winds and try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s right or not.
I wrote for 5 minutes… and then proceeded to look through pictures for about 2 hours.
As the words began to flow from my heart to my hands faster than I can type, my eyes began to sting as I felt the tears well up. “What is wrong with me?!” I wondered.
I realized as I was looking through years of pictures that it had all gone by so fast. Things that I remember as happening last week, were in reality, last year. How did I not see it in the moment. Those precious, fleeting moments…
There never seems to be enough time. When it seems that we should be saying, “Hello.” we are already saying, “Good-bye.”
Our good-bye’s are seldom “good.”
It is always bittersweet and at times involves tears and a lot of dark chocolate post parting.
There is never a time in the day when I don’t think about “My Bella.”
Not a moment passes when I am not wondering what she’s doing or if she had a great day… does she like a new boy? Is she remembering to accentuate her incredible eyes with the makeup she has been so anxious to apply, instead of caking it on? Is she being told how incredibly beautiful and gifted she is? Does she know how much I love her? Does she have any idea what a treasure she is? How I adore her? The prayers I say for her?
There are times when I miss her so much that my heart actually hurts inside my chest.
I have a new understanding for the word heartache as every time my little girl leaves, she takes an irreplaceable piece of my heart with her.
How fitting for the topic to be “good-bye.” Friend or foe, I know it’s capability of relief and also that of sorrow, all too well.
The following pictures were taken hours, sometimes minutes, before my Bella and I said, “Good-bye.”