Five Minute Friday: Good-Bye

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.

We set a timer, throw caution to the winds and try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s  right or not.

I wrote for 5 minutes… and then proceeded to look through pictures for about 2 hours.
As the words began to flow from my heart to my hands faster than I can type, my eyes began to sting as I felt the tears well up. “What is wrong with me?!” I wondered.

I realized as I was looking through years of pictures that it had all gone by so fast. Things that I remember as happening last week, were in reality, last year. How did I not see it in the moment. Those precious, fleeting moments…

There never seems to be enough time. When it seems that we should be saying, “Hello.” we are already saying, “Good-bye.”

Our good-bye’s are seldom “good.”

It is always bittersweet and at times involves tears and a lot of dark chocolate post parting.

There is never a time in the day when I don’t think about “My Bella.”
Not a moment passes when I am not wondering what she’s doing or if she had a great day… does she like a new boy? Is she remembering to accentuate her incredible eyes with the makeup she has been so anxious to apply, instead of caking it on? Is she being told how incredibly beautiful and gifted she is? Does she know how much I love her? Does she have any idea what a treasure she is? How I adore her? The prayers I say for her?

There are times when I miss her so much that my heart actually hurts inside my chest.

I have a new understanding for the word heartache as every time my little girl leaves, she takes an irreplaceable piece of my heart with her.

How fitting for the topic to be “good-bye.” Friend or foe, I know it’s capability of relief and also that of sorrow, all too well.

The following pictures were taken hours, sometimes minutes, before my Bella and I said, “Good-bye.”

On the airplane from Cali to Bama for visitation

At the Wiggles Live Show

Halloween fun

She's home from her summer visit in Bama

Milkshake in Brevard, NC

Happy Birthday!

At our house in Cali before she left for her summer visitation

Spreading Christmas cheer at CHOA. Bella wanted everyone to have an "I Am Loved" pin. She even handed them out in line at Starbucks.

Her first role as a fairy in "A Midsummer Night's Dream"

Sunday that is usually our day of "Good-bye"

Birthday

Summer visits make my heart happy

Silly faces

Crazy face!

Pouty face

Donated 12 inches of hair to "Locks of Love"

My heart

8 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: Good-Bye

  1. I can’t imagine how hard those good-byes must be for your Mamas heart. What a gorgeous girl she is and how lucky that she has a Mama who has her back with prayer even when you can’t be with her.

    • Thank you so much for your comment.
      I wasn’t such a great mom early on.
      I’m a work in progress.
      I feel like she and I have grown up together.

    • Thank you, Jessie.
      I’m usually not so sappy, but today I am unusually emotional. That’s our right as women, yes. We can be emotional for no reason at all 😉

  2. Beautiful memories, Joy! Thank you for sharing them. As a new mom, it does seem like motherhood is going to be a life full of “goodbyes,” but after seeing a few of these treasures, it looks like it’s going to be an amazing journey, and totally worth it! 🙂

    • It is totally worth it.

      One of the main factors making our good-byes so difficult is that our circumstance is a product of divorce. It was broken from the start. Your family is whole and it will make a world of difference.

      Trust me when I tell you that when you think, “I should write that down…” when Alex does something, WRITE IT DOWN. You will not remember it later. It goes by so quickly! (And now I sound like the elderly ladies who used to pinch my cheeks and say statements like, “I used to change your diaper! You grew up so quick!” (insert cringe)

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