If you are a parent, especially a mother to a girl, please stop and re-evaluate the dialogue you are having with yourself, your friends, your husband, the TV, the radio and especially with her.
Stop talking about your insecurities in front of your daughter. Unknowingly we project our feelings of inadequacy onto our daughters. Don’t do it! She may not acknowledge it at the time. More than likely she will remain quiet, but when she’s alone in her room, she will look at herself in a way that she has not thought about before. She doesn’t deserve that.
We have the potential to raise beautiful, secure women. We can have a great impact that is either positive or negative. In order to model a healthy image, we must work from within and stop comparing our insides to another person’s outsides.
This is no longer a silly little obsession. It is a matter of life and death.
I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Please believe me when I say that I am reminding myself here as well. I battled an eating disorder for 12 years. One that almost took my life. And yet I still find myself making derogatory comments about my body in front of my daughter.
I have to make a conscience effort not to speak negatively about any part of my body. I have to replace the thoughts in my head with statements such as these;
~ I am thankful for two legs that take me where I want to go
~ I am thankful for two arms that hold my children.
~ I am thankful for two eyes that see
~ I am thankful for two ears that hear
~ I am thankful for natural, God given lips, to speak the truth in love
~ I am thankful for a backside (or booh-tay as I like to call it) that makes long sits in folding chairs more tolerable
~ I am thankful for an abdomen stretched with signs from each pregnancy
~ I am thankful for breasts that are free of cancer and for a time sustained the life of each of my babies
~I am thankful for the fine lines that grace my eyes from years of smiling and laughing
When I stand before the mirror…fully exposed…completely naked…I say these positive affirmations out loud. Sound crazy? What’s crazy to me at this stage in my life, after all I have seen and walked through, is to accept even a fraction of the world’s view of me as valid or worthy of attention.
The following pictures are graphic and will be disturbing to some.
There is no time for sugar-coating and acting as if everything will be okay.
It’s an epidemic and the ultimate tragedy is when it claims another life.
Isabelle Caro found international fame after posing for an Italian anti-anorexia stream of billboard poster back in 2007, and she was known for her skeletal frame due to the disorder she’s been fighting against since she was 13. According to her acting coach, Caro was already sick after returning from a gig in Tokyo, and she passed away November 17, 2010. She was 28 years old.
You don’t have to agree with what I have written here, but please consider the way you are communicating with the girls/women in your life. There is a crucial need for those in recovery to speak up and share hope. This conversation has only begun.
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So true and most of the times the truth can be scary but we all need to face it. The media gives a wrong depiction of what’s beautiful and attractive Being skin and bones is not attractive. Being superficial with clothes and brands is not cool. Just cool for the product companies. We should teach the young that beauty is in the heart and confidence is knowing who we are and our good qualities . Thanks for sharing a post that shows courage and honesty. Best wishes.
Thank you for your comments! It’s a battle, but one we must be super diligent about.
Joy, I cannot see a seriously thin girl without being transported back to the years we fought our own daughter’s anorexia, one of the most frightening diseases that I have ever come across. I, too, blamed myself for talking too much about my own weight and giving her the idea that worthiness is weight related. Education is compulsory when someone you love is affected by an eaating disorder, as well as counseling and unrelenting diligence in combatting it. But nothing is as important as love, acceptance, and a very, very calm demeanor. Thanks for posting this important message.
Thank you, Pam!
I am making this the first in a series. I would love to have you answer some questions about what it is like to live with someone going through this struggle. I can send you the questions. Would you be interested?
Thank you for posting this. So many of my friends have struggled with eating disorders, be it Anorexia, Bulemia, or EDNOS. It is so hard to convince them that they are beautiful, worthy girls because they’ve ingrained the negativity into everything about themselves. >_< I want so desperately to tell kids before they start down that road that it isn't worth it and that they are lovely simply because they exist. So many props for you in your recovery and doing everything you can to stay positive and healthy. ❤
Thank you, Allison.
Maybe the most frustrating part is that you can’t convince them. It’s something they must discover on their own journey.
When I look back and think, “What could my parents (siblings, friends, etc.) have done to prevent this?” There is nothing. It is a very personal journey. It’s lonely and exhausting.
I have had the privilege to work with some high school girls and hope to do more of that. The only weapon we have is truth to combat the lies.
Absolutely and Amen! Her story is so tragic and as mother’s we need to love these bodies that sustained life and continue to do so in so many ways!
Yes! I too believed that I had to be skinny to be beautiful. Though I’m not the size I want to be right now, I have a much healthier mind and heart. Grateful!
I try to emphasis with the women in my life that what makes them beautiful and magnifies their external looks is who they are. Who they are is what makes them the most beautiful of all.
It is indeed who we are that makes us beautiful.
When you have an eating disorder, it’s like looking at yourself in a fun-house mirror that changes everyday. Things are distorted. It is crucial that women and men are speaking truth to those around us and the ones we love.