There is so much I could say, in the blank space, with cursor blinking, waiting to be filled. I’ve sat here many times before today, staring, with thoughts racing, too much to begin.
I was honestly surprised…and not…to see the tab at the top of this page stating in all caps that I have 87 Drafts. Eighty-Seven works in progress. How silly. Knowing that each time I release my truth from the inside out, it unlocks a new aspect of freedom that I didn’t know was there. And yet, if I think about it too long, I won’t hit “Publish” on this one either.
So…For today, let’s dive in before I convince myself to “Draft” it.
In the weeks leading up to my 40th birthday, I’ve thought a lot, maybe too much, about the purpose and pain through my first 40 years on this earth. While I genuinely hope this helps someone reading, it is as much for my own benefit as for anyone else’s.
My journey has not been one of ease, though it has been better than many, and more privileged than most.
The List…
- Trust can take years to build and moments to destroy.
- Happiness can be bought (temporarily) and then lost, while true joy is internal and untouchable by outside forces.
- Grace is one of the most priceless and underserved gifts. Though freely given, we must receive and embrace it before it can manifest in our lives.
- Intuition is absolutely real and divinely instilled.
- The ability to forgive is key to authentic beauty. Nothing will age you faster than resentment.
- A steller hairstylist is a must. Once you find said stylist, tip well.
- Anger rots your inner being before ever showing up at surface level.
- Fear only leads to greater fear.
- Prayer works.
- When searching for an answer, love almost always fills the gap.
- It’s about “who” not “what” you know. (This applies to everything.)
- Baby wipes are essential for life. They remove crayon from a painted surface, that unidentified sticky residue just beneath a child’s car seat that’s been there for God only knows how long, mascara, lip stain, mud on wedges…etc., etc.
- Smiling more will inevitably lift one’s own spirit while providing warmth to the stranger passing by.
- It’s true, you cannot out-exercise your fork.
- We never see our true-self clearer, nor exert our need for a Savior more, than during times of trial.
- Failure is not optional, it’s necessary.
- Lessons will either shape you or break you.
- People do not control your destiny.
- God is not mad at you.
- Sunscreen actually is important.
- If you have one true friend you can trust with your weirdness, you are richly blessed.
- There is a deep human longing in us all to be fully known and accepted anyway.
- Death is not the end. It’s the transition.
- Grief is unpredictable.
- No matter the color of our skin, just below that thin layer, we all look the same.
- Generosity is key to contentment.
- Everything (really is) going to be okay (eventually).
- We don’t have to share the same DNA to be family.
- Miracles still happen.
- Everything we say and do begin with a thought.
- Being an adult can be really hard.
- We can decide, at any given moment, to change direction.
- There is no excuse to be unkind (to anyone) (ever).
- Gratitude changes things.
- We remember moments.
- God created each one of us with great intention and purpose.
- The most sacred space of witness is during birth and death.
- If we could truly grasp our worth, nothing would have the ability to intimidate or have a stronghold in our lives.
- Don’t put earthly limits on a heavenly God.
- Time goes by so quickly.
BONUS ROUND
1. We don’t have to be afraid.
2. Everyone is important to someone.
3. Labels were never meant for people.
4. Sex doesn’t have to be a dirty word.
5. Right and wrong is relative.
So there ya go. With hundreds more to be added at another time. As I live out this first year in my 4th decade of life, what would you add?
On October 19th, 2015, by the grace of God, I welcomed in 13 years of freedom from the dependence on that which once enslaved me, alcohol.
Even A Girl Like Me 