Pardon me while I compare my insides to your outsides

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

While shooting pictures yesterday for something unrelated to birds on a wire, I turned around and saw this site that had to be captured. It goes right along with how I have been thinking and feeling. It was as if it was placed there just for me and all I had to do was look up.

I laughed while thinking, “I wonder if this bird ever looks around and thinks, ‘Why don’t I look like they do?'” You have to admit, he kind of stands out. Do you think he sees his uniqueness as a blessing?

My temperament is one that craves relationships and interaction with many different people. I invest heavily in the lives of those I love and enjoy doing so. However, when I am experiencing inward turmoil I want to retreat and be quite. Lately, while going through certain stress I have been unable to withdraw which forces me to interact with others when I am out of sorts. This can be disconcerting.

In the past couple of weeks I have found myself looking around and thinking, “How does she do that?!

“How does she work full-time, grocery shop during the week, run her children back and forth from soccer practice, gymnastics and piano, keep her house clean, volunteer at her church, serve on the PTA and have dinner waiting when her significant other returns from work? And what about doctors appointments in between and the unexpected illness?”

So tell me ladies, are you one of these women? If so, are you really doing everything that it appears you’re doing? Do you have hidden super powers? Are you saying affirmations in the mirror multiple times throughout the day to keep up the pace?

Most days, I feel more like this chick…
I can relate to the white bird on the wire. Sometimes I feel that my uniqueness is a gift and adds to my awesomeness. Other times I see it as a hindrance and something to be overcome. Here is what I know about feelings, they are constantly changing. Feelings in and of themselves are not to be trusted. So I must rely on truth, grace and the love that I know to be unchanging.

What are your thoughts? Am I way off base or do you know exactly where I am coming from on this?

14 thoughts on “Pardon me while I compare my insides to your outsides

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  3. Sanford and I have a solution for this. When we walk in the door of the house, and it is a total disaster, one of us says, “WE ARE SO BLESSED!” Then the other one of us says, “I LOVE OUR FAMILY!” When we first started doing it, it was sarcastic. Now, it is absolutely sincere. And we start picking up the guinea pig poop/legos/dirty laundry/spilled cranberry juice cocktail, almost pinching ourselves about what a cool stage of life this is.

  4. I wonder this as well. I can do many things, but while I’m doing them nobody is cleaning my house. How does it all get done? Maybe i could volunteer less at church and at my kids sports teams b/c I don’t see many of those folk there. Maybe my priorities are a little off-balance? But at the end of the day, i love helping others (apparently at the expense of my home’s appearance). Maybe that will change when my children are gone and there aren’t as many obligations or children leaving their lives all over my house. While they are here, I guess I’ll just accept the mess and when it changes (all to soon, i’m sure) I will mourn the loss and embrace the new.

  5. Super woman is a fantasy. We all have our off days, bad hair days, and plain old rotten days. We might choose to share them or not… But we all do… I prefer to not write about all the sad/mad stuff in a public forum because I prefer to use my blog to heal and help myself and others. We all have stuff; that is life and I thank God for being human! Enjoyed your post Joy! 🙂

    • Thank you Friend!
      When sharing about my struggles, I try to focus on the experience, strength and hope. I don’t always have the hope figured out, but thankfully it usually comes 🙂
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

  6. My theory? They don’t. It’s just this world of twitter/Facebook “let me show my BEST day to you meanwhile I won’t actually write anything about the other 5 days this week that were a train wreck” world we live in. Sometimes I wonder what it’s doing to us as Moms. Pressure. But I’m learning to take it off myself. I totally OWN the fact that I don’t really cook, and while I miss being the “go out for a 6 mile run” girl I used to be, I’m slowly starting to really love being the Mom with a few extra pounds who is enjoying life and just doing my BEST in this season of working with young kids to take care of myself. But it’s taken awhile, and I’m very much a work in progress with all this. Good post!

    • Thank you Jill.
      I must agree, I’m okay being the mom with a few extra pounds 😉
      Most days I do really well taking the pressure off myself. Others…well…not so much. On those days I have to “embrace grace.”

  7. Joy, I totally know where you are coming from! I am constantly wrestling with how I prioritize my day, with all the responsibilities and roles placed on me. I feel like super mom one day and then a good for nothing blob the next. I am still learning how to not look around and compare myself to other women/moms. I have to remember what works for another family, may not work for us. We are unique and wonderfully made! Let’s embrace this beautiful life we have been given and take it one chaotic day at time.

  8. oh yes..I know exactly where you are coming from and have often thought the same thing! What intrgues me was the I didn’t SEE the white bird at first glance at the was only when you pointed it out that I looked again and thought…there IS a white bird amoung all those black ones. Interesting how we can NOT see something and then see it…and vice versa. I also find it strange how, one day I’ll cope really well with chaos, clutter and disorder (in me or around about me) but other days it becomes the bane of me. I so often wish for stability within myself and just when I think I’m there…IT’s GONE!

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