Tag Archives: Experience

Accentuating Beauty: Part 1

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Today’s post is the first in a series with Ariel Barrow, former make-up artist for Bobbi Brown. Now a wife and busy mother of two, Ariel is a freelance artist and available by appointment only.

Melissa Cazorla is our model for the day. Ariel is going to go step by step, showing how she transformed Melissa’s clean face into a canvas of art.

Do you have questions? We have answers! Please ask in the comments section. Ariel will be answering them next week and showing us how she quickly turns day make-up into evening. She demonstrates how with the right products, we can look our best with minimal effort.

Start with a clean face.* Prep the skin with eye cream and moisturizer.
This hydrates the skin so that the makeup glides on easily.* Apply primer on the face and eyes. (Two different products.)

This creates a barrier between the make-up and skin that aids in uniform application and prevents make-up from being absorbed into the skin throughout the day.

* A light eye shadow is applied to the lid.* A darker color is placed on the outside corner of the eye.(Depending on the size of the eye area, Ariel decides whether to apply a darker color to the entire crease or just the corners. Because Melissa has such a prominent eye area it would detract from her eyes to apply the darker color across the crease.)

* Eyeliner was placed (with a brush) on the top lid only and not too thick.This is an important step to remember.
(You can always add more if needed.)

* Curl lashes with eyelash curler (do not use heat as this can damage the lashes) Apply lash primer and add several coats of mascara.* Go back under the eyes with eye cream.
This adds hydration while cleaning up any powder dropped during application.* Apply Corrector (pink based) to correct the dark circles.
Then place the concealer (color of skin tone) over the corrector
to blend and add more coverage.

* Foundation is blended (with a brush) all over the face to give the skin an even toned look. (Ariel explains that she applies foundation last which offers a flawless look to the skin.)* Set the concealer and foundation with a loose yellow powder.
This helps keep the look fresh, longer.* Dust the T-Zone with bronzer. This warms up the skin tone.
(We were having fun. Who says you can’t laugh during beautification?!)

* Apply blush to the apples of the cheeks.
This gives the face the pop of color needed to complete the look.

* One coat of lipstick is applied.
Try not to lick your lips throughout the day and your color will last longer.
You can always reapply, but the first application provides the cleanest look.(Lip color is so personal, the color is all about your preference.
If there is a color you want to wear but don’t think you can “pull it off?” Try a liner as base to tweak the color. You would be surprised what colors anyone can wear when the undertones are changed ever so slightly to compliment the skin tones.)

The finished product is exquisite. Don’t you think?That wraps up the “how to” portion of the “day” make-up.
Ariel has answered several questions below that are commonly asked.
Hopefully her answers will be as helpful to you as they have been to me.

Remember to ask your questions and come back next week for the answers and another tutorial on transitioning your “day face” to your “evening face” with few steps and big results.

1.) How important is foundation/concealer/primer for the overall look?
I would definitely say that, concealer is most important. Putting concealer under your eyes can immediately make you look refreshed. You can also cover up any trouble spots (blemish, sun spot, etc) on the face with concealer too. Foundation would be the next most important because it allows you to even out your skin tone. Primer is not necessary every day, unless you really need your makeup to stay fresh.

2.) If you could only have 3 items in your makeup bag (not including cleanser or moisturizer) what would they be?
Lipgloss! (I love lipstick and chapstick too) My favorite thing is lip gloss because it gives a hint of color and shine quickly. Keyword is “quickly”…being a mother of two, I need to be efficient in every area. I would then say concealer because I can touch up any trouble areas. Last, but not least, mascara. I love what it does, but I also just love putting it on.

3.) What benefits are there to using brushes to apply make-up instead of pencil and sponges?
Good brushes are made to pick up the product and place it onto the face. They won’t absorb too much of your product, unlike a sponge. Also you can clean your brushes, unlike a sponge that can harbor bacteria. Can you tell I am not a fan of sponges? I think they can be used, but they need to be thrown out often. I love lip and eye pencils. I just don’t use them as often because that is not what I am used to anymore. Working for Bobbi Brown I didn’t like the eye pencil’s so I used their gel eyeliner or a powder eye shadow. So I guess I don’t prefer one over the other, just a habit. I really like Lancôme’s waterproof pencil eyeliners.

4.) What advice do you have for someone just starting to wear make-up? I’ve heard the saying, “Less is more.” Do you agree?
Go to a cosmetic section of your favorite story and just look around at the different brands. Try and find what you like and then talk with the representative at the counter. They should be receptive to someone who is new to makeup and willing to give a tutorial if it’s a good time. You may have to book an appointment. I love TONS of different cosmetic companies and am not trying to push Bobbi Brown, but they are a great teaching line. The representatives are used to walking clients step by step through the makeup process. I was someone who wore WAY too much makeup, I think I still struggle with this. I do think “less is more” unless you are going for a more dramatic look.

5.) What is the rule about dark eyes and dark lips? Can one wear both? Should one choose one or the other?
This is tough. I would say during the day, don’t do both, but at night it can work. I always try to decide what the client wants to focus on – their eyes or lips. I think that is a great rule of thumb, to think about what you want to make a statement with. I typically focus on my eyes, rather than lips. I don’t think you have to choose one or the other because it can work, but I would say the results are often better when you pick one or the other.

6.) What is one tip or fact you wish everyone knew when it came to their particular eye color and shape?
I want people to understand that there is not a science to it. I would recommend trying different colors and then taking a step back and saying, “What did this look do for me?” If you feel pretty and uplifted then it’s probably a good color. If you feel blah and like you have a black eye…probably not a good look. I love eyeliner on every eye shape. If you apply this one step to your makeup routine then you can really frame your eyes. The eyeliner doesn’t have to be dark! This is a misconception that often keeps people from trying it at all.

7.) Is there a trick for keeping lipstick off your teeth?
Make sure your lips are not too moist to hold the color. You may apply foundation or powder on the lips as a primer. My first choice would be applying a lipliner first throughout the lip and then applying the lipstick always makes the lipstick last. Don’t glob it on. Only put on a few layers and try to avoid putting too much on the inner lip because as soon as you close your mouth it is going on the teeth. Also, if you put a lip gloss over your lipstick (which I love) this can make the lipstick run. It’s better to reapply your lipstick than walk around with it on your teeth! Yuck! If all else fails you can do the index finger trick. You purse your lips around your finger and pull it out. It’s messy, but in a pinch it will get excess color off your lips.

Want to know what brushes were used? How to find the right foundation for your complexion? What if you don’t like foundation and just use concealer? Does it need to be expensive to work? Ariel can answer all of these questions and more, so ask away. We will see you next Thursday (same time, same place) for another beauty installment and answers to your questions with Ariel.
(If you would like a detailed list of products used, including specific brushes, please comment in the section below.)

Anyone…anyone

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I was talking with a beautiful friend the other day about ghosts from the past. I have a few, as does she. Some of hers are just louder than mine.

She had been in conversation with a family member just hours before who had used the term “damaged goods” when referring to her. As she spoke the words through tears, I felt rage welling up in my spirit and showing itself all over my face.

Seeing the color of my cheeks change she added, “Joy, it really isn’t a big deal.”

“That is where you are wrong, darlin’. It is a very big deal. You are far from damaged.”

She cut my response short, “No, I kind of am. I would say it’s an accurate description.”

At this point in the conversation I had a couple of options. I could begin ranting about what a ridiculous self-assessment this girl was making or I could speak the truth in love. Please keep in mind that it infuriates me when someone allows another human being, mortal, flesh and blood, to strip them of their identity in Christ. What shakes me to my core is when that individual doing the stripping is a mother or other guardian who has been entrusted with shaping the life of someone else.

Thankfully I chose the latter of the two options.

“Here’s the deal, sugar. We all have things that can be categorized under the label ‘damaged.’ No one is worse than another. They are equal. Yours may look different from mine, but in God’s eyes, they are the same.” As these words were coming out of my mouth, I thought, “Do I believe this? Does my path of destruction look the same as what ‘church goin’, conservative clothes wearin’, orphan savin’, never kissed a boy, doesn’t sin unless by absolute accident, savin’ herself for marriage, non tattooed/pierced/scarred‘ girl’s destruction? Do I truly believe that? Hmmmm…I don’t think I do. Well, maybe I do. I hope I do. Sometimes…on a Tuesday…when the sky is blue…and cloudless…and all the planets are in line, I do.”

I had to come clean. “You know, it’s a difficult concept to fathom. At times I have trouble grasping it myself. But I know it’s true, because Jesus said it and He doesn’t lie.” We both agreed that neither of us could refute Jesus’ words.

As we left each others company that afternoon the wheels were turning in my mind. God is always on time, yes? This morning, Rodney Anderson spoke at Buckhead church. He took a passage from Luke 18 and explained it in such a comprehensive and applicable way.

He was talking about this very thing! Comparing and thinking better of oneself and praying as if God takes out His list to make sure we are worthy of being listened to. It doesn’t happen that way. It’s an awesome message that you can watch by clicking here.

He wrapped everything up with John 19:30 when Jesus said, “It is finished.” There is no longer a need for another human being, a middle man (if you will) to do our bidding for us. Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice and the comparing, accusing, condemning, rejecting was over. Now, whenever God looks at you and at me, He sees us through the eyes of His son, Jesus, who was and is the ultimate sacrifice for my “destruction.” And as Rodney explained so perfectly today, “That’s good news.”

Be encouraged. No matter the size of devastation along the trail you have blazed, Jesus is enough. He paid it all. Your ransom, my ransom has been PAID IN FULL.

Need a visual reminder? Click here

Weekly Photo Challenge: Inside

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“Oh what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive.“
Sir Walter Scott (Marmion, 1808)

Other interpretations of this week’s challenge can be found here

Five Minute Friday: Enough

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It’s #FiveMinuteFriday free write time! Where a flash mob of folks spend five minutes all writing on the same topic and then share ‘em over here.

GO:

When I saw the prompt for this week I couldn’t help but smile. This is something I have been thinking of daily for the last several weeks. So much so that when certain thoughts creep into my mind I ask myself, “What exactly is enough?” “When will it ever be…enough?”

I have always been challenged when it comes to balance. I am excessive. If I like it, I want more. There are times when this way of thinking has me defeated before ever beginning. And it is a daily struggle.

When I walk into my closet and see the rows of shoes, each in their separate clear container, My immediate thought is, “excess.” Ew. That isn’t a positive word. Many things in my life associated with that word aren’t good. Excess weight, excess waste, excess worry…and many more. How do I combat that?

My goal over the next 7 days is to train my mind to say, “It’s enough.” “I am enough.”

I wrote a post several months ago claiming my word for the year. Enough. However, a year is too big for me. It’s excessive. I give up before starting. I must live in this 24 hours given this moment given. This moment is enough.

So enough excuses. Starting now, it’s time to re-train my brain, in small doses of course…as things arise. To do more than that at one time deems me useless.

“It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”
Henry David Thoreau

STOP

Mixed Blessings

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The word “Mixed” by definition means; containing a mixture of both favorable and negative elements. While the word “Blessing” means; a beneficial thing for which one is grateful; something that brings well-being. I have had a bit of experience with mixed blessings. You?

I hear interesting conversations about in-laws. Sometimes I think that they were put here to make holidays stressful. When discussing this sensitive subject with several girlfriends I asked how different their lives would be if they didn’t have a mother-in-law. This brought a smile to most of their faces. (If you’re a mother-in-law who’s already feeling offended, just hang with me.)

I then asked how it would change things had they never met their husband’s mother. They agreed that they have learned a great deal about their man from talking with his mother.

The truth is, I have never met my mother-in-law. We talked on the phone when I was a teenager, but she passed away before I was able to sit down and share in conversation over a cup of coffee or give her a hug and breathe in her unique smell that would later bring her to memory when a passerby was wearing the same scent. I was not able to ask her how she survived being a full-time working single mother.

When Chris and I were apart for a time I would have dreams about Lou Ann. We would be sitting in a cafe having conversations about life. I would wake up the next morning with her on my mind and throughout the day I felt a closeness to her.

Weird, I know. Especially for someone I had never even met. Eventually the relentless persuasion of thoughts to write Christopher a letter about his mother, whom he loved dearly and I had never met, led me to a pen and paper. My hand could not move as quickly as the words formed in my mind.

Suddenly, I was speaking of this woman I had never known as if we had been in each others company on a regular basis. I explained in the letter that I knew it sounded crazy, but there were things I felt she would want him to know. I then held on to it.

The next time I was in New York Chris and I had dinner and talked about our lives over the last couple of years. I nervously gave him the letter knowingly that he would probably think I was nuts. I asked him not to read it until the day I left. It was April 17th, two years to the day that his mother had passed away. I was not aware of that at the time.

Many things have fallen into place between then and now. Things I never dreamed possible. All I have of Lou Ann are a few photos and the memories that Chris shares with me.

She was an Educator. Brilliant. Beautiful. Strong. She was a fighter. A Survivor. She is my husband’s mother. Isn’t she stunning?

I was never able to ask her about Chris’ childhood…when he cut his first tooth or if he tried to climb out of his crib the way our oldest son did.

“What was his first word?” “When was the first time he tried rice cereal?” “Did he like sweet potatoes as much as my boys did?”

“What was his favorite lullaby when he awoke afraid in the middle of the night?” “Did she rock him to sleep?” “When was his first haircut? Did she cut it or take him somewhere to have it cut? Did he scream the way our youngest does?” “Did he have a favorite blanket or toy?” “How old was he when he took his first step?” “When did he lose his first tooth?” “What was his favorite thing to do?” “Do our boys look like him?” “Do they have the same mannerisms?” “When did he skin his knee for the first time?” “What is your favorite memory from his childhood?” “Has he always loved to draw and create?”

A vital question I wish I could have asked before going into labor with our first son is,
“How big was Chris’ head when he was born?” and “How long was your labor?”

So many questions unanswered. So many moments missed that I know she would have cherished.

Our children know her as “Lulu.” And as far as they’re concerned, heaven is filled with balloons released from their little hands while blowing kisses to the sky.

It’s been some time since I have found her on the other side of sleep, waiting in a cafe, to talk about my boys and compare notes over coffee and hot tea, I can only hope that I will find her there again sometime.

I am incredibly grateful to her for taking care of the love of my life. For making sure that he was provided for and prepared to face a world of both disappointment and triumph, ugliness and beauty.

I know, in-laws can be rather challenging (to say the least.) But they can also be a wonderful resource into the things that made our spouse who they are today. They are much like, “mixed blessings.”

I would love to hear your thoughts on extended family. What’s the craziest thing that has ever happened at a “family” event or around your diner table? Do you get along with your mother-in-law?

A letter…to myself

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I wrote this back in November. Many of you have already read it. After several asks about “The Letter” I decided to re-post it. So, if you have already read it, read it again. Maybe you will find something that wasn’t there before. If you haven’t, maybe it will serve you in a way that you needed today.

Writing letters to myself or to those with whom I can no longer speak, is nothing new to me. I have not done it in quite some time, but it’s not a new concept. Therapists, institutions, sponsors and spiritual advisers have been using it for years.

For months I have been thinking about what I would say to my 13 year old daughter, Isabella. Not about very specific things, but about life in general. The overall picture. What it looks like when there are several chapters and one can flip back through the pages.

I have been completely stumped.

She and I talk about everything. I do not sugarcoat or hold very much back with her. I want her to know what the world is like without paralyzing her with fear. I want her to be armed with knowledge so that she has the necessary tools when things arise.

I want her to grasp that God is loving and forgiving. And at the same time know that there are decisions one can make that will carry a heavy price and be with you for the rest of your life.

It was not until about a week ago that it occurred to me to write the letter to myself.

The picture is one that I chose my first year in sobriety when my sponsor told me to think of how old I was when I abandoned my true self.

She told me to put it in a beautiful frame and place it beside my bed and every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to bed, I was to say to that little girl, “I’m sorry I abandoned you all those years ago. I’m here now and I am picking up your hand and will walk through this with you.”

I thought she was crazy, but I did it.
I did whatever she told me to do because I was desperate and fighting for my life.

She had been sober for more than 24 hours so I knew she had something that I didn’t.

Now, more than 9 years later, I can understand exactly why she had me do this exercise and why she made me make my bed and tell the truth about absolutely everything as I would have lied about things as simple as, “Did you brush your teeth this morning?”

The picture is no longer by my bed. It has been tucked away in a drawer where I can look at it whenever needed, but I don’t feel the need to apologize to the little girl staring back at me.

So here is my humble attempt at giving myself advice…if I could…which of course I can’t…but I can give it to Bella, when I have the courage. What she does with it is entirely up to her.

Dear Joy,

If you remember nothing else except this one paragraph, you will be okay.
It’s this, God is good, all the time, even when it doesn’t feel like it. He has a plan and purpose for your life. It will have very little to do with outward appearance and everything to do with your heart, mind and spirit, which I believe encompass your soul.

I know that you are only a child, but if you will take these things I am going to tell you and trust them as if your life depended on it, you will look back with fewer regrets, less sorrow and more fulfillment.

Learn all you can. Keep your mind open to the beautiful things that God puts in front of you everyday. Find a scripture that you love, it can be one sentence, memorize it and hide it away in your heart. When the world begins to tell you lies, and they will, quickly bring it to the forefront of your mind and bathe in it’s truth.

Know that, though your parents are far from perfect, they are doing the best they can with what they have including the knowledge they have been given. There will be times when you don’t understand their decisions or rulings, but just know that there is a reason that many years ago God was telling children to respect their father and mother.

Ultimately, you are accountable to God and no one else. However, until you are of age to understand this concept and use it in a wise way, you will sit under the authority of your parents.

Don’t get so caught up in appearance. Honestly, looks fade and eventually what you have on the inside begins to show more than what you look like on the outside. There is a transparency of sorts that happens over time that is beyond your control and if you have not been nurturing your spirit, you will not reflect the light of the Father as you are capable of doing.

Boys are going to notice you. You will not be ready emotionally for this kind of attention. This is when you take shelter under the authority of your parents. You may not agree with everything they say, but there is protection from things that you have yet seen.

If you remember whose you are, you will remember who you are.

There will come a time when you feel lost. That’s okay. Again, this will probably happen while you are still under the authority of your parents. They won’t understand. That’s okay too. This is when you can begin to build a solid relationship with your Heavenly Father. It is in this time, He will be the only one who understands.

You don’t have to abuse your body by restricting food or overusing substances. Your body truly is a temple. The Holy Spirit lives in you and though this is your earthly shell, you will have it for some time and how well it runs is up to you.

You do not have to give yourself away. I don’t just mean physically. I mean mentally and emotionally as well. If you could pour all of the energy that you use seeking approval from others, into learning and owning what the Father thinks of you, you will build an unshakeable foundation.

Life does not come without difficulties. If someone tries to tell you otherwise, run as far and as fast as you can away from them.

There will be pain. When the pain comes, the thing that will serve you most is your faith in Christ. Knowledge is great, but you will always be told that you need more of it, there is never enough. Faith is what will come to your rescue in times of darkness.

There will be times when you make decisions that you regret. That’s okay. Deal with them promptly and move on. God says that when we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and remember them no more. If the Creator of the Universe is capable of that, you certainly can be.

Don’t allow anyone to make you feel small. It is not without your permission that they will intrude on your heart. Keep your mind strong and filled with truth so that you are able to quickly combat anything negative that is thrown at you.

You are a child of the most high King. Beautiful, treasured, sacred in His eyes. Rest in the promise that His plan is perfect. He has the best life that you are capable of living all laid out for you. I know you can’t see it now, but you will.

One day, as you look back, you will see how it unfolded before your eyes like a well written story. That’s what it is really. You are His story. Better yet, His masterpiece and there is no one better to write your story than He.

You are the co-author. Don’t forget that. You most certainly have to do your part, but He is ultimately the Author and finisher.

You are beautiful. Not because of the clothes you wear or the attention from others or anything exterior. It is because you are a light in a dark world.

Others will see that light and want to know how to have it themselves. Be ready to share your faith. Everything that you are learning is leading you to a place where, when the time comes, you can share eternity with the lost.

And truly, nothing matters more than knowing the One who created you, who had you in mind before He formed you in your mother’s womb. It is a lifelong journey seeking Him. But along the way, you will have the opportunity to share what you are learning and grasping, which could in turn change a life.

I know, you will question whether you are someone who God can use to help others. Believe me, you are. He is grooming you for greatness. Making you more to His likeness. Whispering truths when your heart deceives you.

All the while, using your life, your gifts and flaws, to win others to Him.

There is no greater purpose.

I Love You!

“Explorer, Warrior, Son”

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“Don’t climb on that, don’t break anything, don’t be so aggressive, don’t be so noisy, don’t be so messy, don’t take such crazy risks. But God’s design-which He placed in boys as the picture of Himself- is a resounding yes. Be fierce, be wild, be passionate.” ~John Eldridge

Do the words in the quote sound familiar? I feel like I’m saying them all the time. “Don’t do this, don’t do that.” When really, the last thing in the world that I want is for my son to be anything less than he was created to be. The first word that comes to mind when I think of my boys is, adventure. They thrive on it. They have to have it.

Please join me at Lil Light O’ Mine as I share my experience, hopes and prayers for my boys.