Evermore goodbye…

My girl
The tears won’t come
Though each time it’s as if the scar is being torn open
The never healing wound

That’s the only way to describe the feeling when my child leaves after a stay longer than the weekend

It’s never easy or right, however
The pain is more manageable when it’s a mere two days every four weeks
Not as incredibly intense and
Without the agonizing withdrawals

The moments that follow this one will be filled with uncertainty
Questions stirring in my heart and surfacing only in my conscience
Asking, “What kind of mother…”
Confirming my selfishness
Conceding to the lies that bind
Even if only for a time, the truth feels underserved

Tomorrow I will bathe in the promises of my Savior
Tomorrow I will dance in the light of truth
Tomorrow I will stitch up the wound with threads of hope

For today, I will feel the warm tears stinging my eyes and finally running down my cheeks
Relieving the implosion going on below the surface
I will self medicate with prayer and meditation
I will experience the loss of something I love
Even if only for a time

11 thoughts on “Evermore goodbye…

  1. Pingback: Even A Girl Like Me

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