I will act now

I will act now.
I will act now.
I will act now

Henceforth, I will repeat these words
each hour, each day, everyday,
until the words become as much a habit as my breathing and
the action which follows becomes as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids.

With these words,
I can condition my mind to perform every action
necessary for my success.
I will act now.
I will repeat these words again and again and again.

I will walk where failures fear to walk.
I will work when failures seek rest.
I will act now,

for now is all I have.

Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy.
I am not lazy.
Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed.
I am not a failure.
I will act now.

Success will not wait.
If I delay, success will become wed to another and lost to me forever.
This is the time.
This is the place.
I am the person.

~ Og Mandino
Augustine “Og” Mandino II
(December 12, 1923 – September 3, 1996)
American author.
Bestselling book The Greatest Salesman in the World.
His books have sold over 50 million copies and have been translated into
over twenty-five different languages.
He is an inductee of the National Speakers Association’s Hall of Fame.

Evermore goodbye…

My girl
The tears won’t come
Though each time it’s as if the scar is being torn open
The never healing wound

That’s the only way to describe the feeling when my child leaves after a stay longer than the weekend

It’s never easy or right, however
The pain is more manageable when it’s a mere two days every four weeks
Not as incredibly intense and
Without the agonizing withdrawals

The moments that follow this one will be filled with uncertainty
Questions stirring in my heart and surfacing only in my conscience
Asking, “What kind of mother…”
Confirming my selfishness
Conceding to the lies that bind
Even if only for a time, the truth feels underserved

Tomorrow I will bathe in the promises of my Savior
Tomorrow I will dance in the light of truth
Tomorrow I will stitch up the wound with threads of hope

For today, I will feel the warm tears stinging my eyes and finally running down my cheeks
Relieving the implosion going on below the surface
I will self medicate with prayer and meditation
I will experience the loss of something I love
Even if only for a time

I am not the number

on a scale
on a roster
of blog hits per hour
in my bank account
on my SAT
on a measuring tape
in a cell phone
at the dmv
of followers on twitter
of likes on facebook

i am breath
i am warmth
i am loved
i am chosen
i am forgiven
i am beautiful
i am passionate
i am sacred
i am treasured
i am made in the image of the God of life

i will begin living today as if i truly believe that i have a purpose
i will not focus on yesterday
i will not put my trust in tomorrow
i will live here
in this moment
in this gift
of time and energy and possibilities
where God is

i will not be your reason or your consequence
i will not look to you for my happiness or fulfillment
i choose to see the world through the filter of Jesus
accepting people as they are not as i think they should be
using whatever gifts i have to serve the one right in front of me
accepting my humanness as temporary and fleeting
embracing all that is holy
reflecting all that is good
absorbing all that is God

and when i fail
i will begin again
with the acute understanding that
this world is not my home
i am no longer a slave to sin
the chains that once bound me are broken
i do not work towards earthly rewards
my eyes will be fixed on eternity
on Christ
on all that is or ever will be
until at last faith becomes my sight