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About Joy

I am a writer, photog, mother of 3, wife to the love of my life and a seeker of Christ. I talk about this journey as a recovering narcissistic, self loathing, hypocrite. The goal is to start a conversation through either words or moments captured through the lens. Most importantly, it has to be authentic. Otherwise, what's the point?

Accentuating Beauty: Part 1

Today’s post is the first in a series with Ariel Barrow, former make-up artist for Bobbi Brown. Now a wife and busy mother of two, Ariel is a freelance artist and available by appointment only.

Melissa Cazorla is our model for the day. Ariel is going to go step by step, showing how she transformed Melissa’s clean face into a canvas of art.

Do you have questions? We have answers! Please ask in the comments section. Ariel will be answering them next week and showing us how she quickly turns day make-up into evening. She demonstrates how with the right products, we can look our best with minimal effort.

Start with a clean face.* Prep the skin with eye cream and moisturizer.
This hydrates the skin so that the makeup glides on easily.* Apply primer on the face and eyes. (Two different products.)

This creates a barrier between the make-up and skin that aids in uniform application and prevents make-up from being absorbed into the skin throughout the day.

* A light eye shadow is applied to the lid.* A darker color is placed on the outside corner of the eye.(Depending on the size of the eye area, Ariel decides whether to apply a darker color to the entire crease or just the corners. Because Melissa has such a prominent eye area it would detract from her eyes to apply the darker color across the crease.)

* Eyeliner was placed (with a brush) on the top lid only and not too thick.This is an important step to remember.
(You can always add more if needed.)

* Curl lashes with eyelash curler (do not use heat as this can damage the lashes) Apply lash primer and add several coats of mascara.* Go back under the eyes with eye cream.
This adds hydration while cleaning up any powder dropped during application.* Apply Corrector (pink based) to correct the dark circles.
Then place the concealer (color of skin tone) over the corrector
to blend and add more coverage.

* Foundation is blended (with a brush) all over the face to give the skin an even toned look. (Ariel explains that she applies foundation last which offers a flawless look to the skin.)* Set the concealer and foundation with a loose yellow powder.
This helps keep the look fresh, longer.* Dust the T-Zone with bronzer. This warms up the skin tone.
(We were having fun. Who says you can’t laugh during beautification?!)

* Apply blush to the apples of the cheeks.
This gives the face the pop of color needed to complete the look.

* One coat of lipstick is applied.
Try not to lick your lips throughout the day and your color will last longer.
You can always reapply, but the first application provides the cleanest look.(Lip color is so personal, the color is all about your preference.
If there is a color you want to wear but don’t think you can “pull it off?” Try a liner as base to tweak the color. You would be surprised what colors anyone can wear when the undertones are changed ever so slightly to compliment the skin tones.)

The finished product is exquisite. Don’t you think?That wraps up the “how to” portion of the “day” make-up.
Ariel has answered several questions below that are commonly asked.
Hopefully her answers will be as helpful to you as they have been to me.

Remember to ask your questions and come back next week for the answers and another tutorial on transitioning your “day face” to your “evening face” with few steps and big results.

1.) How important is foundation/concealer/primer for the overall look?
I would definitely say that, concealer is most important. Putting concealer under your eyes can immediately make you look refreshed. You can also cover up any trouble spots (blemish, sun spot, etc) on the face with concealer too. Foundation would be the next most important because it allows you to even out your skin tone. Primer is not necessary every day, unless you really need your makeup to stay fresh.

2.) If you could only have 3 items in your makeup bag (not including cleanser or moisturizer) what would they be?
Lipgloss! (I love lipstick and chapstick too) My favorite thing is lip gloss because it gives a hint of color and shine quickly. Keyword is “quickly”…being a mother of two, I need to be efficient in every area. I would then say concealer because I can touch up any trouble areas. Last, but not least, mascara. I love what it does, but I also just love putting it on.

3.) What benefits are there to using brushes to apply make-up instead of pencil and sponges?
Good brushes are made to pick up the product and place it onto the face. They won’t absorb too much of your product, unlike a sponge. Also you can clean your brushes, unlike a sponge that can harbor bacteria. Can you tell I am not a fan of sponges? I think they can be used, but they need to be thrown out often. I love lip and eye pencils. I just don’t use them as often because that is not what I am used to anymore. Working for Bobbi Brown I didn’t like the eye pencil’s so I used their gel eyeliner or a powder eye shadow. So I guess I don’t prefer one over the other, just a habit. I really like Lancôme’s waterproof pencil eyeliners.

4.) What advice do you have for someone just starting to wear make-up? I’ve heard the saying, “Less is more.” Do you agree?
Go to a cosmetic section of your favorite story and just look around at the different brands. Try and find what you like and then talk with the representative at the counter. They should be receptive to someone who is new to makeup and willing to give a tutorial if it’s a good time. You may have to book an appointment. I love TONS of different cosmetic companies and am not trying to push Bobbi Brown, but they are a great teaching line. The representatives are used to walking clients step by step through the makeup process. I was someone who wore WAY too much makeup, I think I still struggle with this. I do think “less is more” unless you are going for a more dramatic look.

5.) What is the rule about dark eyes and dark lips? Can one wear both? Should one choose one or the other?
This is tough. I would say during the day, don’t do both, but at night it can work. I always try to decide what the client wants to focus on – their eyes or lips. I think that is a great rule of thumb, to think about what you want to make a statement with. I typically focus on my eyes, rather than lips. I don’t think you have to choose one or the other because it can work, but I would say the results are often better when you pick one or the other.

6.) What is one tip or fact you wish everyone knew when it came to their particular eye color and shape?
I want people to understand that there is not a science to it. I would recommend trying different colors and then taking a step back and saying, “What did this look do for me?” If you feel pretty and uplifted then it’s probably a good color. If you feel blah and like you have a black eye…probably not a good look. I love eyeliner on every eye shape. If you apply this one step to your makeup routine then you can really frame your eyes. The eyeliner doesn’t have to be dark! This is a misconception that often keeps people from trying it at all.

7.) Is there a trick for keeping lipstick off your teeth?
Make sure your lips are not too moist to hold the color. You may apply foundation or powder on the lips as a primer. My first choice would be applying a lipliner first throughout the lip and then applying the lipstick always makes the lipstick last. Don’t glob it on. Only put on a few layers and try to avoid putting too much on the inner lip because as soon as you close your mouth it is going on the teeth. Also, if you put a lip gloss over your lipstick (which I love) this can make the lipstick run. It’s better to reapply your lipstick than walk around with it on your teeth! Yuck! If all else fails you can do the index finger trick. You purse your lips around your finger and pull it out. It’s messy, but in a pinch it will get excess color off your lips.

Want to know what brushes were used? How to find the right foundation for your complexion? What if you don’t like foundation and just use concealer? Does it need to be expensive to work? Ariel can answer all of these questions and more, so ask away. We will see you next Thursday (same time, same place) for another beauty installment and answers to your questions with Ariel.
(If you would like a detailed list of products used, including specific brushes, please comment in the section below.)

Wordless Wednesday: Determination

Image

Intimacy ~ It’s not what you think

What is the first thing that came to mind when you read the title of this post? For me, it’s sex. The truth is, intimacy is so much more than that.

After conversing with people from all walks of life, it’s incredibly clear that there is a real disconnect when it comes to intimacy, sex and being vulnerable.

This is something worthy of discussion. And not just once or twice. Ongoing. Admittedly it’s a tricky subject. I don’t want to make any career altering statements and at the same time I want you to understand that it’s not about where you’ve been as much as where you are.

Women, I don’t know what you’ve grown up hearing about sex, but here is what I know to be true…
It doesn’t have to be dirty.
It’s possible to relinquish everything that has happened and start fresh.
Nothing feels as good as redemption.
When you give yourself permission to stop sorting through the wreckage, you discover a new kind of freedom.

Men, don’t treat us like a whore. We don’t want to feel replaceable and when we look amazing, TELL US.

I cannot say everything I want to say. Nor explain in detail where my heart is on this because, quite honestly, it wouldn’t be pertinent to everyone and there are things in my relationship with my man that are just ours. Sacred things that allow us to look across a crowded room at each other, confident that we are fully known.

Love in it’s purest form. Transparency without limitations. Trust beyond comfort. The unalloyed definition of relationship. A safe haven. A source of life and freedom. Being pursued and overtaken by someone who wants every part of you, and you them. Heart, mind, body, past and present. That is intimacy.

If you are in a committed relationship and you are not able to do this, something is missing. I didn’t say, “Something is wrong.” I said, “Something is missing.” Marriage is your golden ticket to “get your freak on.” Not in a crazy sadistic sort of way, but in a fun, exploratory sort of way.

If you don’t believe me, If you are someone who can’t even be naked in your own presence without shame and embarrassment, I would encourage you to start with the following…
Stop making small talk or expecting a long conversation before being physical. When you are at a level of true intimacy, it’s possible and at times more beneficial to communicate without using words.
Be comfortable in your skin. It’s okay to be naked with the lights on.
DO NOT, under any circumstance, discuss perceived flaws of your physique.
Learn about your body. We are complex creatures. It doesn’t go down the way it’s depicted in movies. It’s better!

Now, go send your hunka burnin’ love a suggestive text message… even if you’re right next to them. It may be their go-to while sitting in that budget meeting tomorrow at work.

read to be read at yeahwrite.meRelated Posts:
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What I learned from the bumblebee

“Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn’t be able to fly,but the bumble bee doesn’t know it
so it goes on flying anyway.”

Do you know what you are?

Quote

“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe,
a moment that will never be again.
And what do we teach our children?
We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France.

When will we also teach them what they are?

We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique.

In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven.

You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel.

And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel?
You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.”

~Pablo Picasso

1-Minute Meditation: Jesus

I sing the words of this song to my boys every night at bedtime. It’s simple, having only four lines, but the words are powerful and have the ability to guide the course of my day, week, month, year and life.

May I encourage you as you read this to center on every word,
marinating in the beauty of this truth. Hide it away in your heart and
take it out during the course of your week when you are in need of direction.
I promise you this, it will leave you better than when you came.

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace.”

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;
who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross,
despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:2

A PDF version of the song in it’s entirety: Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Anyone…anyone

I was talking with a beautiful friend the other day about ghosts from the past. I have a few, as does she. Some of hers are just louder than mine.

She had been in conversation with a family member just hours before who had used the term “damaged goods” when referring to her. As she spoke the words through tears, I felt rage welling up in my spirit and showing itself all over my face.

Seeing the color of my cheeks change she added, “Joy, it really isn’t a big deal.”

“That is where you are wrong, darlin’. It is a very big deal. You are far from damaged.”

She cut my response short, “No, I kind of am. I would say it’s an accurate description.”

At this point in the conversation I had a couple of options. I could begin ranting about what a ridiculous self-assessment this girl was making or I could speak the truth in love. Please keep in mind that it infuriates me when someone allows another human being, mortal, flesh and blood, to strip them of their identity in Christ. What shakes me to my core is when that individual doing the stripping is a mother or other guardian who has been entrusted with shaping the life of someone else.

Thankfully I chose the latter of the two options.

“Here’s the deal, sugar. We all have things that can be categorized under the label ‘damaged.’ No one is worse than another. They are equal. Yours may look different from mine, but in God’s eyes, they are the same.” As these words were coming out of my mouth, I thought, “Do I believe this? Does my path of destruction look the same as what ‘church goin’, conservative clothes wearin’, orphan savin’, never kissed a boy, doesn’t sin unless by absolute accident, savin’ herself for marriage, non tattooed/pierced/scarred‘ girl’s destruction? Do I truly believe that? Hmmmm…I don’t think I do. Well, maybe I do. I hope I do. Sometimes…on a Tuesday…when the sky is blue…and cloudless…and all the planets are in line, I do.”

I had to come clean. “You know, it’s a difficult concept to fathom. At times I have trouble grasping it myself. But I know it’s true, because Jesus said it and He doesn’t lie.” We both agreed that neither of us could refute Jesus’ words.

As we left each others company that afternoon the wheels were turning in my mind. God is always on time, yes? This morning, Rodney Anderson spoke at Buckhead church. He took a passage from Luke 18 and explained it in such a comprehensive and applicable way.

He was talking about this very thing! Comparing and thinking better of oneself and praying as if God takes out His list to make sure we are worthy of being listened to. It doesn’t happen that way. It’s an awesome message that you can watch by clicking here.

He wrapped everything up with John 19:30 when Jesus said, “It is finished.” There is no longer a need for another human being, a middle man (if you will) to do our bidding for us. Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice and the comparing, accusing, condemning, rejecting was over. Now, whenever God looks at you and at me, He sees us through the eyes of His son, Jesus, who was and is the ultimate sacrifice for my “destruction.” And as Rodney explained so perfectly today, “That’s good news.”

Be encouraged. No matter the size of devastation along the trail you have blazed, Jesus is enough. He paid it all. Your ransom, my ransom has been PAID IN FULL.

Need a visual reminder? Click here