Saying goodbye

“Jesus has overcome and the grave is overwhelmed. Victory is won, he has risen from the dead and I will rise when he calls my name, no more sorrow, no more pain, I will rise…” ~Chris Tomlin

Thank you to all of you who have prayed fervently over the last 9 months for Elliot. Many of you have never met her, but have been so strongly impacted by her testimony that your heart is broken with the news of her passing. So I feel like I owe you this post. There is so much to tell you, it will be difficult to give the experience justice, but I will try my best.

Thursday, May 31, Elliot’s body was laid to rest. Many of us gathered around the graveside and listened as the pastor spoke of her courage, the light that she is and her unwavering faith in a God she could not see. He read from Psalm 91, Elliot’s favorite passage.

Chris had encouraged anyone who wanted to bring their children to do so as his children would be involved in the services. I couldn’t help but smile when after the service, little ones ran playfully around the headstones, tracing the letters of the last names with their small fingers. They were completely unaware that this was a place where people came to mourn.

It reminded me of the passage in Matthew 18 “…Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God’s kingdom. What’s more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it’s the same as receiving me.”

One of the roses from Elliot’s casket

Before leaving the site, Chris asked Wyatt (6) and Bradford (4) if they would like to say one more prayer for mommy. The three of them went over, placing one hand on the casket, and one hand in their daddy’s hand, they said a prayer. While Chris was praying, Bradford rested her head against the side of her mother’s coffin. It was such a touching moment, innocent and sweet.

There was no more stopping the tears for me at this point. They flooded my eyes and I didn’t fight them any longer.

There was a small window of time between the graveside service and the service of celebration. I cleaned my face and thought, “Okay! Good. I’m done crying. I’ve cried so much. No more tears.”

I arrived at the service an hour early and there were already a good many people there. Everyone who had been to the visitation the night before was still buzzing with comments about how many people had been there. One guesstimate was 1,000 people, while another was 700. They spoke of how the family stayed until the last person came through the line.

Elliot’s mom, Beverly had posted the following on facebook after such an incredible turnout; “My Dear Precious Child, I saw tonight how very loved and respected you are in this community and beyond. You have set the bar so high for all of us, and I pray I can point people to God and Christ as you have so boldly done in your short life with us here. I WILL see you again!! In that thought I have peace and can rest tonight. Love, Mom”

It was time for the service to start. The pastor had made multiple pleas from the front for everyone to scoot in to make room for others. People filled the small sanctuary, including the choir section and spilled out into the hallways and overflow chapel where the service was streaming live.

Several people got up to speak. To detail each would take thousands of words and more time than you have here. I would, however, like to highlight several things that were said.

Elisabeth, Elliot’s best friend, recalled when she got the call that the pathology report showed cancer, she went over to Elliot’s house and laid down beside her. Elliot looked at her and said, “I told you God was preparing me for something big! I wonder what all He’s going to do through this?”

As the pastor asked everyone, I too have to ask myself, “How willing am I? Am I willing to be that prepared? Am I willing to do what she did, surrendering everything and telling God that no matter what His will, I am ready and willing to carry it out with my life?” Honestly… I hesitate to answer.What about you?

Ed Patterson, Elliot’s father got up to speak a few words about his daughter. He introduced himself as her father and then explained so eloquently how Elliot knew that the most important relationship one can have is with their heavenly father. He spoke about Elliot’s unwavering faith through all of this and that her very name in Hebrew means; The Lord is my God. She embodied and lived out the meaning of her name. He stated what I was feeling, which was, “You hate cancer. So do we. So did Elliot. But it was clear while she was sick that she was continually asking, ‘How can cancer glorify God?’” He then assured us that Elliot’s wish would be that each of us leave there thinking more of Jesus than of her. (He read from several beautiful works that I have referenced at the bottom of this post if you would like to read them.)

The tears ran down my face and I knew that they would not soon stop.

We stood to sing another hymn. I did not even open my hymnal as I knew the words would not come out. I glanced over several rows at little Bradford. As she settled into her daddy’s arms and lay her head on his shoulder we sang, “All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness…” She was asleep. What a perfect depiction of childlike faith. The kind that God desires for us. In the midst of uncertainty we rest safely in our Father’s arms.

Chris had said outside Elliot’s hospital room, Not only did she help unbelievers believe, She helped believers believe more. Truer words were never spoken.

I’m not sad for Elliot. How could I be? She is in the presence of the Savior. Her faith has become sight. There is no more pain. No more struggle. No more fear. No more death. She won. She is the victor now. She conquered. We are the ones left to grieve and to envy.

To echo something Elisabeth said, “Not everybody gets an Elliot.” She’s right. I’m so blessed to have known her. She has left quite a legacy. Her light is bright and vast. Imagine what it will be when we continue to carry and share that light with others. My goal is for her children, as they grow up, while in conversation with someone they don’t even know, to discover that their mother changed the world.

When my 4 yr old saw this picture of the sky behind me on the way home from the services, he said, “Mommy, that’s Heaven.” I agreed.

Maybe someone you know needs to hear what Elliot was quoted as saying in 2010, “When you are so beaten down that all you can do is lift your hand and say. ‘Help!’ He will. I promise.
Don’t put God in a box ’cause he’s not going to fit.
Don’t tell God how big your storm is. Tell your storm how big your God is.”

~Elliot Patterson Williams 1975-2012

Readings by Elliot’s dad, Ed:
“Though devils all the world should fill, all eager to devour us. We tremble not, we fear no ill, they shall not overpower us.
This world’s prince may still scowl fierce as he will,
He can harm us none, he’s judged; the deed is done;
One little word can fell him. The Word they still shall let remain nor any thanks have for it;
He’s by our side upon the plain with His good gifts and Spirit.
And take they our life, goods, fame, child and wife,
Let these all be gone, they yet have nothing won; The kingdom ours remaineth.” ~Martin Luther 1529 “A Mighty Fortress is our God”

1. What is your only comfort in life and in death?
That I, with body and soul, both in life and in death,1 am not my own,2 but belong to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ,3 who with His precious blood4 has fully satisfied for all my sins,5 and redeemed me from all the power of the devil;6 and so preserves me7 that without the will of my Father in heaven not a hair can fall from my head;8 indeed, that all things must work together for my salvation.9 Wherefore, by His Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life,10 and makes me heartily willing and ready from now on to live unto Him.11
[1] Rom. 14:7–8. [2] 1 Cor. 6:19. [3] 1 Cor. 3:23. [4] 1 Pet. 1:18–19. [5] 1 Jn. 1:7; 2:2. [6] 1 Jn. 3:8. [7] Jn. 6:39. [8] Matt. 10:29–30; Lk. 21:18. [9] Rom. 8:28. [10] 2 Cor. 1:21–22; Eph. 1:13–14; Rom. 8:16. [11] Rom. 8:1. ~The Heidelberg Catechism, Lord’s Day 1

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” ~3 John 1:4

Related Posts:
A Tribute to Elliot
When Cancer is no longer a Stranger
In the midst of the storm
A Father’s Love
When the monster returns, Thy will be done 

A Tribute to Elliot

Kathryn Elliot Paterson Williams
1975-2012
   Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mother, Friend  

My beautiful friend was so much more than I can express to you in words. She was more than cancer.

I have cried so many tears. I have laughed at wonderful memories. I have wished for more time…to be a better friend and stay in closer contact.

Since learning of her passing, I have been rather quiet and still. Unlike me, I know. I always have something to say, but this has left me at a loss.

God is faithful. I know He is. All I must do is look at his track record. It speaks for itself. When the pain is so intense that my insides ache, He is my constant. When I feel as if I cannot catch my breath, He is my comfort.

I don’t have the words to adequately describe what I am feeling. I’m rather numb. For the last several days I have been trying to picture her in heaven. Without a doubt, I know that she would not come back for anything in the world.

Still… I think of the days ahead. I will travel to the site where her earthly shell will be laid to rest. I think of the sweet faces of her little ones and I wonder what Chris must be going through as he has to explain multiple times that she is not coming home.

I wonder how one tells a child that their mother is gone and it is all part of this master plan that the creator of all things has been working towards since the beginning of time.

The same God who they pray to at night allowed their mommy to be very sick and die. What goes through the mind of a 3 and a 6 year old as they try to process such grown up information? I don’t know? I am without answers and feel sure that I will remain so until I meet my Jesus face to face.

Elliot has impacted so many during her life and as she gracefully walked the path of cancer.
It is time for her to rest now.
No more sickness, no more pain.
She is whole.

The following lyrics are from two songs that I would sing, read or pray over the last several months. The meaning within the words brings me peace. I hope it does the same for you.

I Need Thee Every Hour

“I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.

I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessèd Son.”
____________________________________________________________________________

Never Once

by Matt Redman

“Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful”

____________________________________________________________________________

WILLIAMS, KATHRYN ELLIOT PATTERSON 36, beloved by God and man and a resident of Birmingham, departed this life May 28, 2012, after a brief and courageous battle with ovarian cancer. Elliot lived an exemplary life, possessed a servant’s heart, and had compassion for all people. She was a 1998 graduate of Auburn University where she was a member of Alpha Gamma Delta sorority. She is survived by her husband, Christopher Wyatt Williams; son, Wyatt Edward Williams; daughter, Bradford Elizabeth Williams; parents, Edward M. and Beverly S. Patterson, sister, Erin Elizabeth Joye (Jay), parents-in law, Chaplain James R. and Susan E. Williams, all of Montgomery; brother-in-law, J. Kevin Williams (Cynthia), Birmingham; nephew, Elijah Brooks Joye; nieces, Bramley Ann Williams and Ellison Anne Joye; and great-grandparents, H. Lamar Smith, Sr., and Rebecca S. Smith, Montgomery. Visitation will be held at Brookwood Baptist Church, 3449 Overton Road, Birmingham, May 30, from 5:30 -7:30 pm. Private burial service for family and close friends will be held May 31 at 10:30 am at Southern Heritage, 475 Cahaba Valley Road, Birmingham. A memorial service celebrating her life and ministry will be held at 2:00 pm, May 31, at Brookwood Baptist Church, Birmingham, followed by a reception at the church. Pallbearers will be John E. Durkin, Jr., Rev. B. Jay Joye, Jeffrey L. King, Brooks B. Sauders, Sr., Dr. J. Michael Straughn, Jr., and J. Kevin Williams. Memorial contributions may be made to The Elliot P. Williams Memorial Fund by mailing contributions to 4326 Paxton Way Birmingham, AL 35242. Contributions will be divided between The Norma Livingston Ovarian Cancer Foundation and a college fund for Wyatt and Bradford. “I have fought the good fight; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith. Henceforth, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness.” 2 Tim. 4: 7-8

Related Posts:
When Cancer is no longer a Stranger
In the midst of the storm
A Father’s Love
When the monster returns, Thy will be done 

* For obituary source click here
* Pictures were taken from her facebook page and CaringBridge site.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Summer

Summer in the south is many things.
To capture them all would mean hundreds of photos.
The word summer brings up many emotions and awakens certain memories in my senses.
Here are a few of the things that I think of when I look towards summer…

The fragrant gardenias in the flowerbed that greet you when walking to our front door.

Gardenia

With the flowers, come the bees
the beautiful butterflies
and other interesting insects.
Summer in the south means, popsicles on the front porch
Sticky fingers and faces.

It means little lizards soaking up the sun while blending into the grass.
Summer means that everything is green…winter has passed and spring has brought new life.
The birds return to the feeder and sing their songs of thanksgiving.
Summer means blowing bubbles in the grass until your lightheaded.
It means dirty feet at the end of the day from running around barefoot until well after bedtime.
It’s different now, as an adult, experiencing summer.
Not bad, just different.
My children get so excited about summer! That is by far the best part of the record temperatures and soaring humidity.
There is much to come in the next several weeks.
There will be watermelon and ice cream sandwiches, water balloons and cook outs, slip n slides and human cannonballs into the pool.
When my boys come in from a long summer day smelling “tired” I know that it has been time filled with moments that they will one day recall and smile.

Interpretations of summer by some other stellar photographers and bloggers:
Where’s my backpack?
Nature Through The Lens
Chronicles of Illusions
The Great Escape: Life from behind a lens

Five Minute Friday: Opportunity

Today I’m joining in the five minute Friday conversation through the Gypsy Mama.  I have five minutes to write, start to finish on a selected topic.

“We write because we love words and the relief it is to just write them without worrying if they’re just right or not. So we take five minutes on Friday and write like we used to run when we were kids.

GO

I’ve heard it said, many times, that “Opportunity knocks.”
Maybe for some, but for me, most of the time, it kicks down the door.

I’m not talking about incredible, money making opportunities or things of that sort. I’m referring to the everyday opportunities that I do not always notice. The kind of opportunities that happen all around me as I’m living life.

When I’m on my computer and my child comes and sits next to me asking, “Will you read this book to me?” That is an opportunity to engage and be fully present with my child. Sadly, I do not always take it, but when I do, I don’t ever regret it.

When I’m in a hurry to get somewhere and cannot be bothered by traffic lights or people and inevitably there is someone moving slower than I would like them to be in the crosswalk. What a beautiful opportunity to, slow down, take a breath, maybe even lift a hand in a friendly wave while smiling and thank God that I have a car to drive and am capable of doing so many things that bring me happiness.

When a friend stops me in the store with an obvious burden that needs to be heard and I am in a hurry to get in and get out. I can stop what I’m doing and listen. I can be genuine and kind without being there for an hour. This is a great opportunity to show through my actions how important relationships are.

When someone lets me go ahead of them and the long line of cars behind them in the drive-thru at Starbucks, it provides an excellent opportunity to pay for their coffee and ask the Barista to tell them, “Thank you! Happy Thursday!” (or whatever day it is.)

How many opportunities do I come across throughout my day to be generous, compassionate, attentive, forgiving, accepting, encouraging, supportive, present, loving and soothing? (just to name a few.) I don’t want to miss those.

Many opportunities are just as important for the provider as for the receiver.

STOP

Related posts by beautiful and talented bloggers:
Opportunity: Leanne Penny
You’ll Find Me in the Closet
Beautiful Things: Five Minute Friday
Uh, You Better Answer That. (Five minute Friday)
Opportunity: Always Alleluia
A constant pursuit: fmf (opportunity)
Pruning Princesses: The Opportunities we give our kids
In the Tangles: Five Minute Friday – Opportunity has a fat backside
Reading List: Five Minute Friday

When I was a Christian

I grew up in a loving home surrounded by “God-fearing” parents, grandparents, friends and neighbors. My mom says that I prayed to receive Christ at age two. Though she was unable to decipher my words, she’s certain that’s what I did.

I distinctly remember at age seven, sitting at the kitchen counter, across from my mom, when my dad called to say that my grandfather’s long and painful battle with cancer was over. And just like that I learned of mortality…

To continue reading this post, please visit Leanne Penny’s site here where she has started a unique series called, “Beautiful Scars.”

In the midst of the storm

I don’t know whether to cry or scream. Stay busy or sleep the day away. Restless is not an accurate description of the way I feel. I don’t know what would be?

My heart aches. Literally, my chest physically hurts. My understanding is so limited, so human.

My friend is in need of a miracle.

I believe in the God of miracles.

Yet, He is silent.

Lord, help my unbelief. Disprove my doubts. Show the doctors with human hands who the Ultimate Physician really is.

I look at the work of your hands. The way you have created life in seemingly lifeless places. I want to beg you to breathe life back into Elliot’s frail body. Knowing full well that your will is not my will and that Jesus taught us to approach the throne of grace with the words, “Thy will be done.” on our tongue.

But Father, I want to pound my fists in rage at the injustice as well as lifting my hands in praise for your faithfulness. I am in a strange place that is neither familiar nor foreign. Where fear meets faith…I suppose.

What am I supposed to do with this storm of emotion?! My fear tells me to sit with my back in the corner so that I feel surrounded by stability. How foolish of me for even thinking that walls capable of crumbling could provide me with security.

God, I know where my security lies and yet my faith is lacking. It’s not necessarily the realism of mortality that is so distressing. It is the little ones she would leave behind. It is the man of her dreams and the children they made together. It is those of us left…back here…on this earth of loss and tragedy. A place where understanding may never come.

These are the times we feel the gnawing in our gut and the longing in our soul. It is a homesickness of sorts. Not for this world. For Heaven.

“Help me. Please. Father. Abba. Please help me.”

* To follow Elliot’s story, visit her CaringBridge site. You can find her on facebook and post words of encouragement on her wall as well.

Breathing in Grace…Breathing out Praise

Never am I more present than when looking through the lens of my camera. Everything that has been heavily on my mind is somehow lifted. I think only of the subject in front of me.

Ever since I can remember, nature has fascinated me. As a child, we would take long road trips as a family and I would stare out the window for hours making shapes from the clouds.

I have been reminded of that childlike wonder through my first L glass macro lens. Chris knows what I need on such a deep level. A level that can be reached by no one but him. He has brought to life parts of my being that I know would have otherwise never surfaced. And because of that I live a richer, fuller, more meaningful life…with him.

The following pictures were taken at the Chattahoochee Nature Center. Several of the flowers had bloomed and were now coming to the end of their beauty, but they were no less exquisite. The splendor of my King was all around me. I love it when God shows off.

The dance of the bee
© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

Legs are absolutely coated in pollen
© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

I love the reflection on the water
© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

We always collect things along our journey that must be captured in the moment
© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

Your typical house fly
© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

The flower from outer space
© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

A little bee quarrel?
© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

When looking at all of the detail that went into making the flowers and bees it takes my breath away. God spent even more time on us. I love Psalm 139. It is a life verse for me and one that has kept me encouraged.

We are a masterpiece, you and I.

A work of sheer genius.