Five Minute Friday: Story

Posted on July 7, 2012 by Joy

Yes, I know it’s Saturday morning, but sometimes Friday turns into Saturday before you know it. So, here we are. It’s still Friday somewhere…right?

I haven’t written a 5-minute Friday post in several weeks. I don’t know why exactly? I like this weeks theme of “Story” and after spending time with one of my closest friends last night, I had to join in the conversation.

Everyone has a story and for 5-minutes, here, on this page, I’m going to talk about Jill and a little bit of her story because I want you to be blessed by her life as much as I am. She’s amazing and though I don’t tell her enough, I want her to know that.

I certainly cannot do Jill’s story justice in 5-minutes. But you can read more on her blog at Ramblings on Anything.

Over the last five years, Jill has walked through some of the most difficult “life events” that one can experience.

She lost her mom to cancer, longed for a baby, had a beautiful baby girl, continued grieving the loss of her mother and the reality that her daughter would not meet this incredible woman who had shaped Jill into the woman she is today.

When she and Andy decided they wanted to try for baby #2, she knew it would not be easy. She had proven that “easy” wasn’t necessary. She just needed possible.

Over the next several months, she would deal with the heartache of more than one miscarriage. She walked through it with grace and never lost faith. After a tempestuous season, she is now more than half way through her pregnancy with their second (miracle) baby.

Like I said, 5-minutes isn’t enough to write about this amazing woman and her journey, so in these last 2 minutes that I have to write I will tell you why I consider her one of my dearest friends…

~ She is one of 3 people I know I can call when I am sitting on the floor of my closet with the light off and the door closed, having a moment of mommy insanity.

~ We share a mutual love for Twilight and know that we will go see the latest movie at least three times, not caring what anyone thinks of us! We like to take arm-length pics in the theater even though we know they will be dark and grainy. It’s about memories, not perfect lighting

~ Though she is far from being a germaphobe, she knows that I am and therefore, always has hand sani at the ready.

~ She loves my daughter and treats her like a human being not an annoyance.

~ I know that I can text her at 11:00 p.m. and she will answer.

~ She is the first person I think of and will ask to join me when I want to go to the symphony.

~ She is the only person I go and have mani/pedis with. (She knows I’m weird and will only go where they clean their equipment in an autoclave.)

~ When I am struggling with either something ridiculous or significant, she will treat them both the same and respond with wise and godly counsel instead of allowing me to focus on the things that are out of my control.

~ She has given me a front row seat to her journey through pain and loss, incredible joy and thanksgiving. She lets me walk along side her, sharing the deepest parts of myself and my world while showing me what it looks like to keep a strong faith during times of uncertainty. There is no judgement, only acceptance, grace and a mutual respect for the other. My life is so much better with her in it.

STOP

Sometimes all ya need is a lil light

Posted on July 4, 2012 by Joy

Admittedly, I’ve been somewhat of a downer today. The first day of Bella not being here I am sulky and tend to pout. SO, I think you all deserve a burst of sunshine! I mean, it’s the least I can do for my faithful and trusted readers.

I have this friend, Courtney. She is the kind of mom that other kids see and wish they had. (No offense to all of the boring, less awesome moms out there.) This girl is stellar. Not only is she a rock-star mama (see picture below of the shaving cream art on the mirror), she is also one of the most creative people I know, turning the ordinary everyday into extra-ordinary masterpieces. I don’t know how she does it, but she does! It’s something we can all strive for.

So today I am cruising her website looking for her site button to add to my blog, only I keep seeing posts that draw me in and before long I forget what I am looking for. I’m downloading free printables and commenting on the priceless knowledge that she and several other incredible women are pouring out on the page FOR FREE! Did I mention that this wealth of information is all in one place for FREE. (Just didn’t want you to miss that.)
You will find links to each pdf at the end of this post, but you MUST visit her website to find these…
ABC Scripture Cards
My Lil Money Jars ^TM

Look at this oh~so~fun way of displaying the cards…

There are also great ideas on praying for our children. This one is my favorite from Ashley…

Click on the links to read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5

Here she is! The beautiful…the talented…the incredible…Courtney. Though I rarely tell her, she inspires me to be more. Not to settle for mediocre motherhood. I admit, there are times that I am envious of her creativity, her remarkable skills, her beauty inside and out. And then she will post something about how “normal” she is. It gives me hope and also challenges me to look outside of myself and walk alongside not only other mamas, but women from all walks of life who just need to know that they are not alone. She is the epitome of the woman described in Proverbs 31:10~31

Get to know her. You will be better for it!

Click here for Courtney’s contact info. If you just can’t wait the time it takes to click a link, have a page load, click another link, wait for another page to load…visit her on our favorite social media site by clicking the icons…

Here are those super spectacular pdf. docs I was telling you about.
My Lil Money Jars Tracking Sheet ~ Blank
My Lil Money Jars Tracking Sheet ~ Sample
Conversations For Lil Ones
Fun With Scripture Memory
Ron Blue On Money Management
Light ‘Em Up ~ List Of Ideas
Light ‘Em Up ~ Family Planning Tool
Light ‘Em Up ~ Gift Tags
Mom, Will You Just Play With Me!
Clean Slate Club Plan

Beauty, the Beast and the Product of the Week: Sunscreen

Posted on July 2, 2012 by Joy

Summer is here!
I am reminded of that every time I look down at my oh so white legs. The funny thing is, I don’t care as much anymore. I guess having 3 pre-cancerous freckles (notice I said freckles, not moles!) removed from various parts of ones body before the age of 34 will make baking in the sun seem less appealing.

SO, I am dedicating this weeks beauty pick to sunscreen and protecting our beautiful skin from the damage that the sun can do. I’m a big fan of vitamin D and it’s great in small doses, but I am also an overdo-er and moderation has always been a challenge.

Here’s the skinny on skin cancer…

Let’s look at how sun exposure relates to skin cancer. The two most common nonmelanoma skin cancers, basal cell carcinoma (BCC) and squamous cell carcinoma (SCC), are directly correlated with sun accumulation over many years. Indeed, the most common locations for basal cell carcinoma and squamous cell carcinoma tumors are sun-exposed areas: the face, ears, hands, etc. (However, it is not unheard of for a basal cell carcinoma or squamous cell carcinoma to appear on a non-sun-exposed area of the body.)

Melanoma is different. The sun exposure pattern believed to result in melanoma is that of brief, intense exposure – a blistering sunburn – rather than years of tanning. (Some studies now indicate that basal cell carcinoma also may be triggered by this exposure pattern.)

Other risk factors are also associated with melanoma, such as a family history, skin type and having a large number of sizable moles on the body. Like nonmelanoma skin cancer, melanoma can arise on any area of the body, regardless of whether or not a sunburn occurred in that location.

Preventative Tips:

Seek the shade, especially between 10 A.M. and 4 P.M.
Do not burn.
Avoid tanning and UV tanning booths.
Use a sunscreen with an SPF of 15 or higher every day.
Apply 1 ounce (2 tablespoons) of sunscreen to your entire body 30 minutes before going outside. Reapply every two hours.
Cover up with clothing, including a broad-brimmed hat and UV-blocking sunglasses.
Keep newborns out of the sun. Sunscreens should be used on babies over the age of six months.
Examine your skin head-to-toe every month.
See your physician every year for a professional skin exam.

When choosing a sunscreen, look for this seal

For a pdf version of this list, click seal-brand-list-may-2012

I thought I would spare you the graphic pictures of skin cancer. However, if you have something you are concerned about and would like to get an idea of what irregular spots look like, click here

If you like quizzes (and who doesn’t?!) click here and discover where your skin fits in.

If you are a “Nothin’ but the facts” kind of person, click here for some bullet points that are sure to set your mind thinking more about your epidermis.

So tell me…do you love the skin your in? If so, are you protecting it for the long haul or just trying to look like a hottie now? Hottie now (can) = Not-So-Hottie later. Do you agree?

Tell me how you really feel…

Posted on June 28, 2012 by Joy

In preparation for a workshop on beauty, I sent out a survey to 100 women between the ages of 13 and 65. When calculating the results, unfortunately, I wasn’t at all surprised by the answers.

I found it interesting that more than half of the women who responded with “Yes” to the question, “Is beauty important for your overall happiness?” apologized for it saying that they knew it was bad to make beauty a priority. Every one of them claims to be a christian. If you look just three questions before that, the #1 answer when asked “What do you think of when you hear the word beauty?” is “Nature, God, Creation.” What is there to feel guilty about or apologize for?

Clearly there is a vast difference between our definition of beauty and what we think God says about beauty. Why is that? Do you think God cares about beauty? Why or why not?

Results for “Beauty Undefined”

What do you like most about your appearance?
#1 Eyes
#2 Hair
#3 Nothing

What do you like least about your appearance?
#1 Stomach
#2 Thighs
#3 Butt

What is the one thing you would change about your physical appearance?
#1 Thinner/More toned overall
#2 Stomach
#3 Complexion

What is the first thing you see when you look in the mirror?
#1 Aging
#2 Eyes/Hair
#3 Size/Weight
(A 13 yr. old responded with, “I see God’s creation! Wow!)

What do you think of when you hear the word beauty?
#1 Nature, God, Creation
#2 Supermodel, Actress (Tall,thin, perfect hair and face)
#3 Inner beauty

What makes you feel beautiful?
#1 Dressing Up
#2 Affirmation (mainly from strangers)
#3 Husband
(A 21 year old responded that she has never felt beautiful.)

Has your dad ever said you are beautiful?
Yes 65%
No 35%

Is beauty important for your overall happiness?
Yes 92%
No 8%

How old were you when you remember first feeling self conscious?
#1 12 years old
#2 8 years old
#3 5 years old

Do the women in your life make you feel valued?
Yes 94%
No 6%

What would you tell the 5 year old you if you could go back and tell her anything?

Don’t listen to what others think, don’t let it dictate what you think of yourself.
You are going to be told A LOT about beauty and how to be beautiful. As hard as it may be, focus on the fact that God made you beautiful and that’s all that matters! God’s love is more important than anything else.
Find your beauty by looking inside not outside. True beauty starts in the heart and works it’s way out.
You’re beautiful no matter what!
Be true to yourself.
Cultivate a lifestyle of health.
People are too concerned about themselves to notice all of your flaws.
Feel beautiful for yourself on your terms. If you do it for someone else, they will take it with them when they leave.
Beauty comes from how you live and treat others. Some of the most beautiful people I know laugh a lot.
Love yourself first, be confident!
This will pass and you will be fine.
Don’t listen to the lies.

This is the 2nd post in a series of posts about beauty and body image. There will be a new post every Thursday about this subject. If you would like to join in the discussion, let me hear from you. All submissions can remain anonymous when posted by contacting me here or you may leave a comment in the section below. If you would like a pdf copy of these results, click here.

Mountain or Molehill?

Posted on June 24, 2012 by Joy

A little more than 24 hours ago, this was my mountain.

It was overwhelming…daunting…I was exhausted by the thought of it.
I mean, I can’t even get to the washer to start a load! Ughhhhh…”I would rather donate these clothes than have to separate, wash, dry, fold and put it all away!”

I can sense you judging me.
Part of what you’re thinking is accurate.
I was behaving like a spoiled brat. I mean, who looks at their dirty laundry and prefers to give it away over washing it?! (Maybe I should stop wearing my tiara randomly around the house? Nah.)

What?! You don’t wear a tiara while doing laundry, the dishes, scrubbing toilets, or anything else of importance?! I highly recommend it!

Then it happened…it happens every time I start whining about my circumstances. The girl with no shoes and a tired expression comes into my mind. She walks 6 miles a day just to get water. I imagine what her face would look like if she had a washer and dryer and if she could walk to the refrigerator and fill a cup with water that comes straight from the door. You don’t even have to open the fridge!

One may argue that this is a reaction of guilt. Maybe it’s the product of growing up in an environment where, if I didn’t finish a meal I would hear, “Children in Africa don’t have anything to eat. They would gobble that cauliflower right up and be thankful!”

However, one would be wrong. Visualizing the young girl having to walk miles to get water all while hoping she isn’t ambushed and raped along the way is a very true reality for many. I am fortunate enough to be here, in my home, in the land of plenty.

There are few things I dislike more than “housework,” none of it compares to what others endure on a daily basis for simple survival. I do enjoy vacuuming because I get to see instant progress by the tracks being made in the carpet as the vacuum removes all of the dust and dirt. However, when I think about the fact that I have an entire room dedicated to removing the stains, washing and drying my clothes… well… I am overcome with the reality that I am either spoiled beyond entitlement, immensely blessed, or a little bit of both.

Now that things were coming back into perspective and I was feeling a little more rational, I formulated a plan. Eight loads of laundry later, tiara still shining, this is the new view…

This may be a silly example to some, but for me the mess, our dirty laundry, made everything else seem bigger.

We all have our mountains. Some are daily, some weekly, others monthly. There are those that will only be part of our story once in our lifetime.

Compared to cancer, my mountain looks like a speed bump. However, for me it represents what’s going on with my insides. Does it seem a little more valid when I put it that way? When my spiritual life is in comparable condition to my laundry room before overhaul it calls for drastic measures. It is also a telltale sign that no maintenance is being done. If I would do a little bit of laundry everyday, my floor would not be covered with dirty clothes. Isn’t it the same with my spiritual life?

If you are still wondering if I am comparing my insides to my dirty laundry and the avoidance to clean it all up, the answer is a resounding, “YES!” I’m a simple gal (for today anyway), meaning I need simple illustrations that I can wrap my brain around. Jesus is for my soul what Tide is for my clothes. Shew! I am so thankful for grace!

A man much smarter than I, by the name of Thomas Merton wrote, “Once you have grace… you are free. Without it, you cannot help doing the things you know you should not do, and that you know you don’t really want to do. But once you have grace, you are free… there is no power in existence that can force you to commit a sin–nothing that will be able to drive you to it against your own conscience. And if you merely will it, you will be free forever, because the strength will be given you, as much as you need, and as often as you ask, and as soon as you ask, and generally long before you ask for it, too.” ~The Seven Storey Mountain

Walking past my clean laundry room gives me a sense of accomplishment and pride. Is that wrong? What’s your mountain today? Is victory attainable? Are you overwhelmed?

It’s time to step off the scale

Posted on June 21, 2012 by Joy

If you are a parent, especially a mother to a girl, please stop and re-evaluate the dialogue you are having with yourself, your friends, your husband, the TV, the radio and especially with her.

Stop talking about your insecurities in front of your daughter. Unknowingly we project our feelings of inadequacy onto our daughters. Don’t do it! She may not acknowledge it at the time. More than likely she will remain quiet, but when she’s alone in her room, she will look at herself in a way that she has not thought about before. She doesn’t deserve that.

We have the potential to raise beautiful, secure women. We can have a great impact that is either positive or negative. In order to model a healthy image, we must work from within and stop comparing our insides to another person’s outsides.

This is no longer a silly little obsession. It is a matter of life and death.

I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Please believe me when I say that I am reminding myself here as well. I battled an eating disorder for 12 years. One that almost took my life. And yet I still find myself making derogatory comments about my body in front of my daughter.

I have to make a conscience effort not to speak negatively about any part of my body. I have to replace the thoughts in my head with statements such as these;
~ I am thankful for two legs that take me where I want to go
~ I am thankful for two arms that hold my children.
~ I am thankful for two eyes that see
~ I am thankful for two ears that hear
~ I am thankful for natural, God given lips, to speak the truth in love
~ I am thankful for a backside (or booh-tay as I like to call it) that makes long sits in folding chairs more tolerable
~ I am thankful for an abdomen stretched with signs from each pregnancy
~ I am thankful for breasts that are free of cancer and for a time sustained the life of each of my babies
~I am thankful for the fine lines that grace my eyes from years of smiling and laughing

When I stand before the mirror…fully exposed…completely naked…I say these positive affirmations out loud. Sound crazy? What’s crazy to me at this stage in my life, after all I have seen and walked through, is to accept even a fraction of the world’s view of me as valid or worthy of attention.

The following pictures are graphic and will be disturbing to some.
There is no time for sugar-coating and acting as if everything will be okay.
It’s an epidemic and the ultimate tragedy is when it claims another life.

Isabelle Caro found international fame after posing for an Italian anti-anorexia stream of billboard poster back in 2007, and she was known for her skeletal frame due to the disorder she’s been fighting against since she was 13. According to her acting coach, Caro was already sick after returning from a gig in Tokyo, and she passed away November 17, 2010. She was 28 years old.

You don’t have to agree with what I have written here, but please consider the way you are communicating with the girls/women in your life. There is a crucial need for those in recovery to speak up and share hope. This conversation has only begun.

Beauty, the Beast and the Product of the Week: Moisturizer

Posted on June 18, 2012 by Joy

This week’s product comes from the beautiful and talented, Tara Shaia. She was recently featured on the cover of Little Black Dress magazine. I am privileged to call her friend and blessed to be exposed to her influence. She is beautiful inside and out. When Tara offers a suggestion or beauty tip, I listen!

What? Clinique Age Defense BB Cream SPF 30. I have not worn Clinique products in years, but this morning routine product is amazing!!

Where? You can find it at any Clinique counter in department stores, at Sephora, online, etc. It’s not hard to get your hands on this gem!

Why? What’s not to love?! It’s a lightweight tinted moisturizer (moisturizes and covers blemishes), makeup primer, antioxidant cream for age prevention, and offers SPF protection, all in one little tube! I’ve been using it for about a month now, and it’s done great things for my skin. At first I was a little apprehensive. I mean, with all that stuff inside it, how in the world would this not break me out? But in fact, the results were just the opposite. I’ve not had any breakouts, my skin has felt smoother, and I’ve been able to wear less make-up!

Cost? Around $37, but for everything it does, I think it’s a steal!

I will be heading to the nearest Clinique counter today to pick up a tube.

About this whole beauty thing… It’s easy to play. Here’s what you do:

1. List your favorite product or routine in the comments section below (it has to be something that you have tried.) Answer these 4 things, 1. What (Is the product or routine?) 2. Where (can you find it?) 3. Why (do you love it?) 4. Cost (ballpark figure, less than $10, less than $20, and so on.)
2. You may have 100 things, like I do when it comes to mascara, moisturizer and the things we would have a hard time choosing between if asked, “Out of these things, what 1 thing would you take if stranded on a desert island?” You can list a new one each week. Start with your favorite.
3. Before you know it, we will have an amazing list of products loved by real people. We will pick one favorite each week.

Please share this with your friends and in no time we will have a list to rival anything that the magazines are flashing.

Before you go, if you would like to participate in the beauty question poll click here and scroll to the poll at the end of the post.

The scoop on Tara:
She is wife to Jeremy and mom to two beautiful girls. She is a homemaker, photographer, avid exerciser and always on the move. When I am able to spend time with Tara, I always leave feeling better than before I came. She is a burst of energy, a wealth of knowledge, a source of godly wisdom and a loyal and trusted friend. Whether in front of the camera or behind it, her beauty and creativity shine through and those who are blessed to be around her are better for it.