Tag Archives: Health

Who do you think you’re fooling?

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Let me start by saying, “I’m not sure this warrants an entire post.” However, I need some feedback.

While looking through FB profiles of my peeps, several times I found myself asking, “Why are they standing with all of those ‘older’ people?!” Only to realize that it was someone my age. We may have even been in the same class?!

This thinking presents a problem (of my own making of course!). Is it me? Do you do this? Do you look at other people your age and think, “Wow! When did that happen?! When did we get so old?!” Do you think to yourself, “Do I look that old?”

I’m guessing you are thinking that I am a self-absorbed wretch. And I get that, but let me ask you this… Have you ever thought these things? Am I the only one?!

As you know, I do not have a healthy relationship with food. Some days are better than others, but I would never call it “healthy.” My internal image of myself resembles something like this…
Some days I feel thin and beautiful and other days…not so much. I realize that this all points back to “SELF.” Ewww…that word alone makes me feel spiritually dirty!

Don’t laugh! This really has me thinking…Am I completely delusional? It is strange that, depending on the day my perception of myself varies between super toned, 20-something hottie and unfit, can’t buy clothes in a regular store, couch potato?

I am extreme. I’m fully aware of this. There is no happy medium in my world. It’s rather exhausting really. This is why I have tried to rid myself of my, what I like to call, “Extreme behavior triggers.” These are the things that make me act like a lunatic, obsess constantly and end up rocking back and forth in a corner not knowing how I got there?!

This is why complete sobriety (aka abstinence from alcohol) was the only way for me to stay sober (what’s a buzz anyway?). It’s literally why I only stop drinking coffee when my hands start to tremble indicating that I’ve had enough caffeine. It’s why I went to rehab instead of college. All or nothing. Go big or stay home. All in. Any of this sound familiar?

That is why I had to rid myself of this atrocious thing. Raise your hand if you like to get up every morning and base your day off of what this little beauty says. And then, for a lot of us insanity types, we step on it before we go to bed!

SO, I haven’t owned one of these since…well…since I was alternating between starvation and puking my guts up on a regular basis almost 10 years ago. What does this say about me? That ignorance is bliss? That I’m refusing to look at the truth? That if I don’t know, I won’t care?

That is nonsense. Of course I care. However, I have to retrain my brain to care the way that my Creator wants me to care. NOT the way the world says I should care.

It took me a long time to learn this, but I can say it with all clarity in this moment.

Are you listening?

His opinion is the only one that matters. Did you hear that? Say it. Even if in a whisper. His opinion is the only one that matters.

Some of you are thinking, “here she goes with the whole religious bit.” Wrong. For me, it has nothing to do with religion. It has everything to do with redemption.

One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 139. When I stand before the mirror, first thing in the morning and last thing at night, I commit my perception to Him. I stand fully stripped of all that I feel hides my imperfections and I pray this verse;

7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight?
…You’d find me in a minute— you’re already there waiting!

Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.

13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!

What do you think? Could you do it? Would you do it? Are you willing to approach the throne of grace completely uninhibited?

If you’re not a throne of grace kind of person, are you willing to stand before your reflection, stripped of all the things you use to hide? Including excuses?

Try it. And then come back and tell me about it. Don’t be scared. If I can do it, anyone can!

Photos were borrowed from my trusty friend, google.

Beauty, the Beast and the Product of the Week: Sunscreen

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Summer is here!
I am reminded of that every time I look down at my oh so white legs. The funny thing is, I don’t care as much anymore. I guess having 3 pre-cancerous freckles (notice I said freckles, not moles!) removed from various parts of ones body before the age of 34 will make baking in the sun seem less appealing.

SO, I am dedicating this weeks beauty pick to sunscreen and protecting our beautiful skin from the damage that the sun can do. I’m a big fan of vitamin D and it’s great in small doses, but I am also an overdo-er and moderation has always been a challenge.

Here’s the skinny on skin cancer…

Let’s look at how sun exposure relates to skin cancer. The two most common nonmelanoma skin cancers, basal cell carcinoma (BCC) and squamous cell carcinoma (SCC), are directly correlated with sun accumulation over many years. Indeed, the most common locations for basal cell carcinoma and squamous cell carcinoma tumors are sun-exposed areas: the face, ears, hands, etc. (However, it is not unheard of for a basal cell carcinoma or squamous cell carcinoma to appear on a non-sun-exposed area of the body.)

Melanoma is different. The sun exposure pattern believed to result in melanoma is that of brief, intense exposure – a blistering sunburn – rather than years of tanning. (Some studies now indicate that basal cell carcinoma also may be triggered by this exposure pattern.)

Other risk factors are also associated with melanoma, such as a family history, skin type and having a large number of sizable moles on the body. Like nonmelanoma skin cancer, melanoma can arise on any area of the body, regardless of whether or not a sunburn occurred in that location.

Preventative Tips:

  • Seek the shade, especially between 10 A.M. and 4 P.M.
  • Do not burn.
  • Avoid tanning and UV tanning booths.
  • Use a sunscreen with an SPF of 15 or higher every day.
  • Apply 1 ounce (2 tablespoons) of sunscreen to your entire body 30 minutes before going outside. Reapply every two hours.
  • Cover up with clothing, including a broad-brimmed hat and UV-blocking sunglasses.
  • Keep newborns out of the sun. Sunscreens should be used on babies over the age of six months.
  • Examine your skin head-to-toe every month.
  • See your physician every year for a professional skin exam.

When choosing a sunscreen, look for this seal

For a pdf version of this list, click seal-brand-list-may-2012

I thought I would spare you the graphic pictures of skin cancer. However, if you have something you are concerned about and would like to get an idea of what irregular spots look like, click here         

If you like quizzes (and who doesn’t?!) click here and discover where your skin fits in.

If you are a “Nothin’ but the facts” kind of person, click here for some bullet points that are sure to set your mind thinking more about your epidermis.

So tell me…do you love the skin your in? If so, are you protecting it for the long haul or just trying to look like a hottie now? Hottie now (can) = Not-So-Hottie later. Do you agree?

Tell me how you really feel…

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In preparation for a workshop on beauty, I sent out a survey to 100 women between the ages of 13 and 65. When calculating the results, unfortunately, I wasn’t at all surprised by the answers.

I found it interesting that more than half of the women who responded with “Yes” to the question, “Is beauty important for your overall happiness?” apologized for it saying that they knew it was bad to make beauty a priority. Every one of them claims to be a christian. If you look just three questions before that, the #1 answer when asked “What do you think of when you hear the word beauty?” is “Nature, God, Creation.” What is there to feel guilty about or apologize for?

Clearly there is a vast difference between our definition of beauty and what we think God says about beauty. Why is that? Do you think God cares about beauty? Why or why not?

Results for “Beauty Undefined”

What do you like most about your appearance?
#1 Eyes
#2 Hair
#3 Nothing

What do you like least about your appearance?
#1 Stomach
#2 Thighs
#3 Butt

What is the one thing you would change about your physical appearance?
#1 Thinner/More toned overall
#2 Stomach
#3 Complexion

What is the first thing you see when you look in the mirror?
#1 Aging
#2 Eyes/Hair
#3 Size/Weight
(A 13 yr. old responded with, “I see God’s creation! Wow!)

What do you think of when you hear the word beauty?
#1 Nature, God, Creation
#2 Supermodel, Actress (Tall,thin, perfect hair and face)
#3 Inner beauty

What makes you feel beautiful?
#1 Dressing Up
#2 Affirmation (mainly from strangers)
#3 Husband
(A 21 year old responded that she has never felt beautiful.)

Has your dad ever said you are beautiful?
Yes 65%
No 35%

Is beauty important for your overall happiness?
Yes 92%
No 8%

How old were you when you remember first feeling self conscious?
#1 12 years old
#2 8 years old
#3 5 years old

Do the women in your life make you feel valued?
Yes 94%
No 6%

What would you tell the 5 year old you if you could go back and tell her anything?

  • Don’t listen to what others think, don’t let it dictate what you think of yourself.
  • You are going to be told A LOT about beauty and how to be beautiful. As hard as it may be, focus on the fact that God made you beautiful and that’s all that matters! God’s love is more important than anything else.
  • Find your beauty by looking inside not outside. True beauty starts in the heart and works it’s way out.
  • You’re beautiful no matter what!
  • Be true to yourself.
  • Cultivate a lifestyle of health.
  • People are too concerned about themselves to notice all of your flaws.
  • Feel beautiful for yourself on your terms. If you do it for someone else, they will take it with them when they leave.
  • Beauty comes from how you live and treat others. Some of the most beautiful people I know laugh a lot.
  • Love yourself first, be confident!
  • This will pass and you will be fine.
  • Don’t listen to the lies.

This is the 2nd post in a series of posts about beauty and body image. There will be a new post every Thursday about this subject. If you would like to join in the discussion, let me hear from you. All submissions can remain anonymous when posted by contacting me here or you may leave a comment in the section below. If you would like a pdf copy of these results, click here.

 

Live like Austin

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There’s this brave little boy.
His name is Austin.
He has an undiagnosed seizure disorder.
Though he is small, his faith is big.

This is his story…
Austin is a 12 year old boy who’s parents serve at Central Christian Church in Las Vegas, NV.  For the past 5 years Austin has suffered from life threatening seizures, and has as many as 80 – 100 a day.

On May 4, 2012 he faced his third brain surgery to try and stop these fatal seizures. He is recovering well.

This foundation is created for him and other children like him who suffer from a seizure disorder.

He never complains, always smiles, and laughs all the time. Despite having SO many seizures a day his spirit stays sweet. That is why people started saying “live like Austin”, as a challenge for us to live life with the same attitude even when faced with adversity.

Watch him and his dad talk about their journey.

You can follow Austin’s progress on the facebook page dedicated to his journey. Make sure to “like” his page and visit often.

How You Can Help

Show your support by purchasing a ”Live Like Austin” T-shirt like the one my Bella is wearing in this picture.

She suffered from undiagnosed seizures for years. We were fortunate to finally receive clear scans and wean her off the medication several years ago. When asked why she wanted a t-shirt, her response was, “I wear it to remember… I remember how scary seizures were. Thankfully I didn’t have any surgeries on my brain, but I could have. I like telling people what the shirt means. It reminds me to pray for Austin. PLUS it’s the coolest fundraiser t-shirt I’ve seen!”


This t-shirt will not only remind you
to live life to the fullest, but it will give you the opportunity to talk about this amazing boy and his incredible passion for life.

Thank you to Jud and Lori Wilhite for raising awareness by posting their picture on Twitter wearing this shirt. I have to admit, when I saw it I thought, “That’s a cool shirt. Where can I get one?!” It wasn’t until I visited the website that I learned of Austin’s story. Everyone in my house has a “Live like Austin” t-shirt now and every time we wear it people ask what it means and where they can get one. We have yet to wear them all at the same time, but I wouldn’t put it past us.

Learn more about Austin by visiting his website Austin Ervin Foundation and make sure to share his journey with others.

Raw Beauty

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“Beauty is a short-lived tyranny.” ~Socrates

How do you define beauty? How do the people around you define it? Especially the 13-25 year old crowd?

My 14 year old daughter came to me recently with a copy of a popular magazine in her hand. “Mom, how can I look like this?!” she asked.

“You can’t.” I answered. “This is not reality. This is an illusion.”

“You’re just saying that!” she exclaimed rather passionately.

Oh the drama that is a teenage girl searching for her place in a fallen world. How can she ever find it when she is surrounded by images that falsely portray perfection?

This is an argument as old as time. Should beauty be important? Does God care about beauty? Is it a sin to want to be beautiful? Is it ungodly to pluck my eyebrows, shave, have nice hair, wear make-up? My answer to these questions is, “Yes. God cares about beauty. Otherwise, I think, He would have made the world colorless and with much less detail. I truly believe the answer relies much on your definition of beauty. No. It is not (in my opinion) ungodly to accentuate your beauty.”

(I realize that there are a million different opinions for these questions and a scripture to back up each one. Many of them, I have heard. Please do not waste your energy sending me hateful messages about how God wants all of us to be ugly and poor.)

After making excuses and suggestions, I realized that Bella has seen the Dove ads and the how-to for Photoshopped images many, many times and she still sees that as professionally done (which they are.) I had to make this personal…I did what my ego hates…there was no other way…after all, this is my daughter and her friends and my friends and friends of friends. This is the very reason that I speak openly in conversation, workshops and seminars about a 12 year battle with bulimarexia.

I had to remove the veil of post editing and show her what a real person looks like without any touch-ups or enhancers. I knew that person had to be me.

So, I asked Chris to take a head shot of me with a 100mm macro lens. A lens specializing in all of the tiny details that one would otherwise miss. The point was not to have a perfectly set shot, but rather, a spontaneous moment, as one would capture in day to day life.

I must admit to you that I did not even like the fact that my physical flaws were so exposed to my husband! My vanity does not want him or you or my children or anyone to see the fine lines (or pores on my face) for that matter!

However, it is no longer an option for the number on the scale, the size of my jeans or the fact that my dimples have turned into lines, to define me. To find my identity in such triviality is not only foolish, but possibly fatal.

I did not use Photoshop on the images. I used Aperture. The goal was not to morph into a super model, but rather show how easy and quickly a simple editing program can “fix” my flaws.

As shallow and self-absorbed as I once was, I never would have thought it possible that I now agree with Audrey Hepburn when she said, “The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.”

Before touch ups using Aperture

After touch ups with Aperture

So to my friend who asked me the other day if I ever take a bad picture, I will say again, “It depends on how much time I spend editing.”

Related Post:
“Does this make me look fat?”

 

Let go…or be dragged

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While you’re reading this sentence, I want you to ball your hands into the tightest fist you can make. Come on, squeeze until your nails dig into your skin and your knuckles turn white.

Now…open your hands. Stretch them as wide as they will go. Ahhhhhh. Release.

Do you see the fingernail marks in your palms? Run your finger over the shallow indention that will soon fade.

Are there things in your life showing evidence of a struggle by the indention’s that your fingernails left behind?

For me to think that there was any other way to believe that I could hold on to what was mine without digging my fingernails in, was going to take a complete transformation of the mind.

This is exactly what is happening. It has been a slow, but steady process.

Have you ever seen a child hold a piece of candy that they were afraid was going to be taken from them? Especially chocolate. The tighter they squeeze, the more misshapen it becomes. At times even melting under the force and heat of their little hand.

What’s left?

A mess.

When I have tried to pry open the little fingers of my child when they are locked onto something they want, not only does the mess get all over their hand, but it gets on mine as well. The worst place being under the nails where it is so difficult to remove.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, I hope you can relate.

I have had to physically open my palms to the Father many times this week while in conversation with certain people who are making decisions in my daughter’s life.

I have prayed, “Lord, if necessary, bring out your spiritual crowbar and release my grip on this situation. Father the harder I hold on, the worse the outcome. The more I squeeze, the greater intensity of pain. Help me, please. I don’t know how to hold my child with an outstretched arm and open palm.”

God has been so patient with me.

I should know by now that He doesn’t use a crowbar. He doesn’t use force. For if He did, I would be resentful. These are the times when He is very still and beckons my heart to meet Him in the quiet places (which are few and far between in my house).

He whispers to my heart, “Don’t you know she was Mine to begin with? Don’t you know that she is Mine still?”

“Yes, Father. But…What if…”

“What if, you trusted Me the way you tell others to trust Me? What if, you truly believed that I want the very best for your life and your child’s life. And though that doesn’t always mean comfort and happiness, you can rest in the assurance that you are greatly loved and adored by your Father in Heaven. What if, when you were afraid, you sought Me instead of relief through external methods? What if, every time you think of one of your children, you give them back to Me, once more, leaving the pen in My hand to write the chapters of their story? What if, you commit My words to memory so that when doubt floods in, it is absorbed by My truth and replaced with My peace that passes all understanding?”

This is how the Father speaks to my heart. This is the way he gently opens my fists tightly clenched in fear until my palms face the Heavens with fingers stretched as wide as they will go.

Then and only then, can He pour out His goodness, mercy and love. And there is enough that when it spills through my fingers, those around me benefit.

Bella, my Bella, belongs to God. Chris and I have worked tirelessly to lay the foundation and instill truth in her heart and mind. Our responsibility now, is to reiterate what she already knows. It is to combat lies with truth. It is to encourage, nurture and provide a safe place for daunting questions.

When I close my eyes and pray for my girl, I see the 5 year old explorer/princess/rock star. I see overalls and pig tails…I see somersaults on the grass and make believe castles in the trees.

I see more potential, beauty and promise than she will ever see. Isn’t that what we do as mothers though? We dream BIG for our girls and attempt to stifle the urge to project ourselves onto them while intercepting those who would cause them to believe that they are anything less than a child of The King.

Here’s the deal, I have to let go.

I must open my fingers and release the fist. I do not want my beautiful girl to have nail marks of any kind on her spirit, especially mine.

So when fear consumes my mind with thoughts of losing the control that I never had to begin with, my heart will respond with Ephesians 3:20-21“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.“

What is beneath your fingers tightly clenched into a fist? What or who are you holding on to so tightly that they can barely breathe? Let go. The longer you struggle, the messier it gets.

Let go. Or be dragged.