Tag Archives: Recovery

1-Minute Meditation: Faith

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“You do not need to know precisely what is happening,
or exactly where it is all going.
What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges
offered by the present moment, and to embrace them
with courage, faith and hope.”
~ Thomas Merton ~

                                         © Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012.

Need more than a minute?
1-Minute Meditation: Everything
1-Minute Meditation: Choice
1-Minute Meditation: Jesus
1-Minute Meditation: Affirmation
1-Minute Meditation: Fear
1-Minute Meditation: Awareness
1-Minute Meditation: Merton Prayer
1-Minute Meditation:
1-Minute Meditation:

When the silence is deafening

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I pull into the garage slowly, being careful not to knock the side mirrors off. Though I have done this multiple times a day for six years I still have a tendency to nick the mirrors. I push the button to close the door behind me as quickly as possible. The boys have their headphones on and are watching the ninja movie for the umpteenth time. I look at the empty passenger seat beside me and it sets in. She’s gone…again.

As much as I love the fall season, I also dread what it means. Summer comes and goes, taking with it the bulk of my time with Bella. Chaos ensues with schedules, school and the many other demands that follow everyday life. As I sit in the car, staring through the windshield at the door leading into the house, I say in a whisper, “I don’t want to go inside and face the silence.” I don’t want to walk into her room to gather towels and sheets to wash knowing that her presence is no longer there. The silence is deafening.

Realizing that the tears are inevitable, I get the boys settled and head up to my room. Sitting down on the floor and looking up through the window at the blue sky, my prayer is one of hesitancy as I open my fists, in faith, relinquishing control.

“Lord, here we are again. In this place where words do not give adequate meaning to the void. How long will the sadness last this time? Will it be weeks or months? Will it be bearable? Will I be able to perform the daily tasks required of me? Father, I’m tired. I don’t want to go back out into the world. I want to stay here, on this floor. Allowing the carpet beneath me, the ceiling above me and the walls around me to act as tangible support, compensating for my lack of faith. I wish to withdraw from everyone and everything. You have already seen the week ahead. Father, I don’t even know how I am going to do everything I need to do in the time allotted and to add a heavy heart on top of it… It’s too hard.”

This verse came to mind.
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
…That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.”
Isaiah 43:1-4 (The Message)

So for today, in this moment, I will close Bella’s bedroom door and tend to the many other household responsibilities. I will be grateful and smile when I think of the conversations and time together we’ve had over the last few weeks. I will thank God for the ache, knowing that it makes the reunion all the more sweet.

I will meet tomorrow’s demands, tomorrow. Embodying the truth, today, that God always shows up on time and gives me the strength I need, when I need it.

Maybe you need to read this verse everyday too. Here is your downloadable copy You are mine

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And Then She’s Gone

Butt Prints in the Sand

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One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen.
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, “What have we here?”
Those prints are large and round and neat,
But Lord, they are too big for feet.

My child, He said in somber tones,
For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait.

You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know.
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you, on your butt.

Because in life, there comes a time,
When men must fight and men must climb.
When men must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand.

~ Author Unknown ~

Hopefully this does not offend any of you. I read this years ago and it made me laugh. When I came across it again today and felt guilty for laughing it reminded me of how serious we “Christians” can be. Laughter is good. We don’t always have to find offense in everything.

If anyone happens to know the author, please leave it in the comments section.

Prayer of Surrender

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“God, I offer myself to Thee
To build with me & to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy love & Thy way of life.
May I do Thy will always!”
Amen

This is the 3rd step prayer used in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and printed in the Big Book. It’s simple, yet it says so much. A.A. saved my life. I am so very grateful for those old-timers, who, all those years ago sat around a table and committed to saving as many drunks as they could. The key is turning our will and life over to God. It’s simple though far from easy. There is quite a journey ahead of us, but thankfully our only focus is today, where our feet are. We will not project into the future and we will discontinue flailing in the past. Our eyes are set here, now, where God is.

Five Minute Friday: Here

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This post began as a Five Minute Friday post, but continued long after the timer sounded. Something in me could not stop writing and I think that’s okay. There is much stress in life, right now, today. And so my mind drifts…to a place far less stressful…a haven…here.

Here there is no shortage of beauty
The wildflowers grow just beyond the moss sprinkled fence and
roots intertwine to make an adventurous pathway
Here, where the trees touch the heavens
and the mushrooms look like artwork
Here, where the spider spins his masterpiece
while the river cascades over rocks and branches
down a path not yet discovered
Here, where the only thing heard is the sound of
the earth beneath our feet as we walk to the
waterfalls that willing flow down the granite to the body below.
Here, where little boys are transformed into giants,
ninja’s, pirates and superhero’s
Here, where the fire is warm when the sky opens up
to water the earth
Here, where the mountains ascend from green grass
and reflect their magnificence onto the water below
While cotton like clouds sit suspended against the blue sky

Here, where nap time is not only encouraged, it’s required
Here, where I long to residebreathing in deeply while the
sun warms my face and the breeze cools my neck under my long hair.

Here, where heaven is everywhere and God makes Himself known without saying a word.
Where is your here when the noise of life becomes intrusive?

This Day

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“I will live this day as if it is my last.
…I will waste not a moment mourning yesterday’s misfortunes,
Yesterday’s defeats, yesterday’s aches of the heart,
for why should I throw good after bad?”
I will live this day as if it is my last.
This day is all I have and these hours are now my eternity.
I greet this sunrise with cries of joy as a prisoner who is reprieved from death.
I lift mine arms with thanks for this priceless gift of a new day.
So too, I will beat upon my heart with gratitude
as I consider all who greeted yesterday’s sunrise
who are no longer with the living today.
I am indeed a fortunate man and today’s hours are but a bonus, undeserved.
Why have I been allowed to live this extra day when others,
far better than I, have departed?
Is it that they have accomplished their purpose
while mine is yet to be achieved?
Is this another opportunity for me to become the man I know I can be?”
— Og Mandino (The Greatest Salesman In The World)

Five Minute Friday: Enough

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It’s #FiveMinuteFriday free write time! Where a flash mob of folks spend five minutes all writing on the same topic and then share ‘em over here.

GO:

When I saw the prompt for this week I couldn’t help but smile. This is something I have been thinking of daily for the last several weeks. So much so that when certain thoughts creep into my mind I ask myself, “What exactly is enough?” “When will it ever be…enough?”

I have always been challenged when it comes to balance. I am excessive. If I like it, I want more. There are times when this way of thinking has me defeated before ever beginning. And it is a daily struggle.

When I walk into my closet and see the rows of shoes, each in their separate clear container, My immediate thought is, “excess.” Ew. That isn’t a positive word. Many things in my life associated with that word aren’t good. Excess weight, excess waste, excess worry…and many more. How do I combat that?

My goal over the next 7 days is to train my mind to say, “It’s enough.” “I am enough.”

I wrote a post several months ago claiming my word for the year. Enough. However, a year is too big for me. It’s excessive. I give up before starting. I must live in this 24 hours given this moment given. This moment is enough.

So enough excuses. Starting now, it’s time to re-train my brain, in small doses of course…as things arise. To do more than that at one time deems me useless.

“It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”
Henry David Thoreau

STOP