Five Minute Friday: Connect

Around here we write for 5 minutes on Friday. I love today’s topic as I have been learning how important it is to “connect.”
GO

© Joy Cannis and Even A Girl Like Me, 2012

I tend to forget how important connecting is until I am in desperate need of it. I go about my day feeling ostracized (usually by my own doing.) At times it takes a close friend with genuine concern, inquiring about my feelings to snap me out of it and make the needed connection.

As a woman especially, I have a heightened sense of urgency to be and stay connected to other women who are a source of encouragement and beauty in my life. Those whom I can share openly and honestly with and they will point me back to God’s grace.

I watch my children play and interact with each other and others. They have no problem connecting when they need to. And it can be as simple as, “Hey, wanna race to the deep end?” that re-establishes the community that they share.

For us it may be asking a co-worker, “Wanna grab lunch?” It doesn’t always have to be a deep, emotional conversation/connection. The important thing, for me anyway, is remembering that we were created with a need to connect.

Whether it be with my husband, children, friends, or co-workers I use this word as if referring to a life source, because it is.

Who will you connect with today?

STOP

Accentuating Beauty: Part 3

I hope you have enjoyed the last few weeks with Ariel. This was such a fun series. This week Ariel will answer your questions, but first I wanted you to know a little bit more about her. This was a stretch since she doesn’t like to talk about herself. She is always focused on others. Truly, Ariel is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

Where are you from? “I am from Richmond, Kentucky. I was born and raised there until I was 19. I got married (ya, I was young) and moved to Atlanta. I have been happily married and lived here with my family for six years.”

When did you start doing make-up?I started doing makeup on myself and my sisters when I was young, but I was TERRIBLE! I didn’t know a thing. Then when I moved to Atlanta, I didn’t have a job. I walked in to a Dillard’s actually looking to buy clothes for interviews and someone stopped me and asked me if I was there for the job fair. I said no, but she continued on like she didn’t hear me and took me to the cosmetic manager. She then proceeded to say that I would be great in cosmetics. Long story short, I worked for Lancôme for almost a year at Dillard’s because, well, I loved it and learned a ton! I then went to Neiman Marcus (a whole new world) where this country girl adapted to the city just fine. I worked there for four years for several lines and then specializing in Bobbi Brown.”

Why Bobbi Brown? “Like I said before, I am not making a plug for Bobbi Brown and I no longer work for them. I just honestly fell in love with a lot of their products and their philosophy about makeup. Check out their website and read up on the brand. They are one of the few lines who have a foundation/ concealer for every skin color. That is just one of the reason I love that line. I have tons of other favorite products that are not Bobbi Brown; I just tend to use mostly their stuff.”

What is your favorite thing about doing this? “If you ask any makeup artist they will tell you they have seen it all. You meet people from all walks of life and I LOVED that. I learned so much about how to talk with people and I learned from them. That was my favorite thing about working, was meeting new people and learning their story. Sometimes I felt like a therapist. That leads me to my favorite thing to do now are my friends makeup and some events. I don’t work much more outside of that because I am focusing on my family. I love being able to make someone feel great about themselves. Make up is not needed, but it can accentuate the beauty that is already there. I love being able to make someone realize how truly beautiful they are.”

What is one random fact about you? “I was somewhat of a tom boy growing up. I played softball from age five through my senior year of high school. I also played soccer for six years. I love to be active and be outside. (well, with no bugs) I run and play golf. (When I have the time) This seemed to shock most of my clients when I told them, but I would tell them that I have always loved to dress up and be girly too.”

“I don’t pretend to know all the answers or to be the best makeup artist. I was just thrown into doing makeup by events that could have only been orchestrated by God. I want to use what I know to help people feel better about themselves and to be confident in their beauty.”
She may not know all the answers, but she knows a lot. Let’s look at your questions from the past three weeks and her answers.

This is in response to Cat’s question about eyeshadow color (especially for hazel eyes.)Eye shadow can be very tricky to pick out and very hard to recommend without talking one on one with someone. Just like any kind of makeup, you can make a statement with the colors you choose to wear. For specific color recommendations for hazel eyes, I would say to wear gold, brown, green, and violets/plum colors. These are pretty basic go to colors that will complement your eye color.

 Now, for everyone you should have your three go to colors for your day look. A light color that you apply all over the lid, this includes under the brow all the way to your lash line. This helps to take darkness out of your lid and make the other colors you apply stay more true to color. If you use an eye shadow base apply that first and then your light color. You can get eye shadow bases in light colors, like the one I used on Melissa to serve two purposes. Then you should have a neutral color that complements your eye color that you can place all over the lid or in the crease. You can stop here and not put another color on, but if you like to have more on or want a night look you can add in your third darker color. This can be a brown, black, purple, green, etc. (Just a color that is darker than your first two). This color serves as your eyeliner or crease color.

    I am all about getting the most out my cosmetic products and most cosmetic companies get that you need a few colors to complete your eye shadow look. That is why you see several eye shadow kits at the cosmetic counter and at the drugstores. You don’t have to do the same thing every day or use the same amount of colors every time. These are just some easy steps to get your started in your makeup experiments. I will be the first to tell you that there are going to be some awesome looks and some not so awesome, but just practice and see what you end up liking. Just remember it’s makeup and it’s supposed to be fun!”

This is in response to Elizabeth’s question about her lipstick not staying put. “Everyone has the issue with their lipstick fading or smudging…believe me I wish I could recommend the perfect lipstick! The truth about lipstick is the longer lasting ones tend to be dry and don’t look great unless a gloss is applied afterward. Then you have the moist lipstick that we love the feel, but it is off our lips onto our face or teeth in a second. I would recommend choosing a lipstick color that you love and then wearing it a few times and see what it does. If it tends to get dry, apply a lip balm or gloss over it (not before, this will cause smudging). If your lipstick jumps all over on ya, then apply a lip liner all over the lip first. You can put some of your foundation/powder on the lips as a primer. You can also limit the coats of the lipstick on; more is not always better. The lipstick feels so good going on, so try and resist applying too much. I love lipstick, but for day my go to is a gloss. I love the hint of color and hydration that it gives my lips.”

Several have asked for a list of products used. For a PDF version, click here

We have received messages regarding booking information for Ariel. We will respond via email. As Ariel said, she is in a season of life where her little ones need most of her, which requires that she be more strategic about appointments. Please give as many details as possible when inquiring (date, event, time commitment) and I will return your email as quickly as possible. Thank you for your understanding.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd the winner of the eyelash curler, primer and mascara is… Liz! Congratulations Liz! If you will forward the mailing information via email for your prize, I will send it out right away.

I’m still me

I sit here…in this unfamiliar place…anger.
I have absolutely no control over the outcome…the process…the rantings and misunderstandings of others not close to me and now even further away. I want to separate myself from the source and do so whenever possible, but sometimes I cannot and in those times I rage inwardly. What is this? Why am I here? What do I do with this?

I write.

I’m still me, only smarter
I’m still me, only stronger

I’m still me, only wiser
No longer the fighter
So much more than survivor

Yes, I’m still me
Once shattered
Fear of life has released me

Broken chains falling down
and laying at my feet
Ashes from the fire showing
death has seen defeat

Face to the ground
Hands open to take in
Gods blessings galore
Splash like rain on my skin

Once shackled to my past
Nothing else is gonna bind me
No more listening to the lies
Truth is all I choose to find me

Each day is a new day
This is where grace begins
It’s all too much
I can barely take it in

But I know the precious blood of Christ
Has redeemed me from my sin.
No longer thinking what could have been
Had my Savior’s grace, not entered in.

Yesterday is past
Tomorrow a mystery
Today is a gift that will one day be history

What if you’re right
And He was just another man
A prophet, disciple
Writing messages in the sand

But…what if you’re wrong
And He really is the King
And the blood that He shed
now covers everything

Affairs, cheating, abortion and blame
All of it erased in Jesus’ name

I want to know the truth
Don’t we all, in the end?
But faith is about believing
and trying not to sin.

I drink of the cup
and eat of the bread
The Son it represents
now living though thought dead

It’s good news for everyone
Even a girl like me
Who was once bound to shame,
was blind, but now I see.

Accentuating Beauty: Part 2

 

You’ll remember from last week’s post, Ariel gave us a step by step tutorial on how to accentuate our beauty while highlighting our best features. Today, we will transition from “day” to “evening” make-up.

* Add darker eye shadow all over the eyelid making the eyes look smokey.
* Smudge the eyeliner and thicken the line on the top lid

This also helps the smokey look and adds more drama to the eyes.
* Place eyeliner on the inner bottom eyelid.
This frames the eyes making them stand out.
* Add a little more concealer for a clean look under the eye
Having a clean fresh look under the eyes with a night look is important.
Darkness under the eyes (especially with dark eyes) can make you look sick.
* Apply the Shimmer Brick (Bobbi Brown) along the cheek bone.
This adds shimmer and when the light hits the cheekbones it is gorgeous.
* Define the lip with lip liner.
This helps the lip color last longer because it acts like a primer.
* Brush a darker lipstick on the lips, two coats.
This makes the lips look full and more pronounced.
Lipstick makes a statement and completes the night look.
Annnnnnnd the finished product
Stunning, right?

Let’s recap:

Before

Day look

Evening

What do you think? Is it feasible for you to do these steps?
What’s holding you back from trying something new?

Ariel is a busy mama to
two beautiful girls.
She is always on the go.
If anyone knows how to make a process more efficient, she does.
There is no need to compromise looking your best when
you become a mom.
In fact, we think it’s a
reason to celebrate.
Take a minute to comment, ask a question or tell us about your favorite beauty product in the section below.
We will choose a name at random next Wednesday to win
an eyelash curler, a tube of Bobbi Brown primer and mascara.
How fun is that?!
You must leave a comment below to be in the drawing.

Next week, Ariel will answer all questions asked from
Accentuating Beauty: Part 1
and today’s post.

 

Five Minute Friday: Beyond

The subject for today’s 5-Minute Friday post is so fitting for me right now. I started writing about Elliot this morning and was interrupted. When I came back and read the topic I knew there was a reason why I had started writing about my friend. Though some of this was written earlier today, I compiled the post within the 5 minute time limit. This one is for my Elliot.

GO

Thoughts of Elliot consume me. Why now? Why here? No one can plan grief. When it hits…when it leaves…only to return again. It is the uninvited stranger who breaks down the door.
This week Elliot and Chris’ daughter turned 4…without her mother. This picture was taken around this same time last year. I do not have words to describe the kind of sadness I feel when I see her precious face in pictures posted on Elliot’s facebook page.

Heaviness sits on my heart when I think of the family members gathered around singing “Happy Birthday to Bradford…” yet one voice is clearly missing from the group.

It has been just over 8 weeks since Elliot’s passing. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. Time goes on. And it will continue to.

There is life beyond the raw reality of death. The ache of never seeing her smile or hearing her voice. The solitude of pain is intense. I am ready to be beyond it.The children visit her grave to leave flowers and kisses. Not yet old enough to understand fully that what the ground holds is a cancer ridden shell that their mother is now free from and has shed for heaven.

Beyond the grave. Beyond the sting of death. Beyond the noise of doubt. Beyond the temporary trappings of this world. My friend sits, waiting for the rest of us. I find solace knowing that she is complete…perfectly healed…and more alive than she has ever been.

“The one thing we owe absolutely to God is never to be afraid of anything…even death, which, after all, is but that final breakthrough into the open, waiting, outstretched arms of Abba.” ~Charles de Foucauld

STOP

Accentuating Beauty: Part 1

Today’s post is the first in a series with Ariel Barrow, former make-up artist for Bobbi Brown. Now a wife and busy mother of two, Ariel is a freelance artist and available by appointment only.

Melissa Cazorla is our model for the day. Ariel is going to go step by step, showing how she transformed Melissa’s clean face into a canvas of art.

Do you have questions? We have answers! Please ask in the comments section. Ariel will be answering them next week and showing us how she quickly turns day make-up into evening. She demonstrates how with the right products, we can look our best with minimal effort.

Start with a clean face.* Prep the skin with eye cream and moisturizer.
This hydrates the skin so that the makeup glides on easily.* Apply primer on the face and eyes. (Two different products.)

This creates a barrier between the make-up and skin that aids in uniform application and prevents make-up from being absorbed into the skin throughout the day.

* A light eye shadow is applied to the lid.* A darker color is placed on the outside corner of the eye.(Depending on the size of the eye area, Ariel decides whether to apply a darker color to the entire crease or just the corners. Because Melissa has such a prominent eye area it would detract from her eyes to apply the darker color across the crease.)

* Eyeliner was placed (with a brush) on the top lid only and not too thick.This is an important step to remember.
(You can always add more if needed.)

* Curl lashes with eyelash curler (do not use heat as this can damage the lashes) Apply lash primer and add several coats of mascara.* Go back under the eyes with eye cream.
This adds hydration while cleaning up any powder dropped during application.* Apply Corrector (pink based) to correct the dark circles.
Then place the concealer (color of skin tone) over the corrector
to blend and add more coverage.

* Foundation is blended (with a brush) all over the face to give the skin an even toned look. (Ariel explains that she applies foundation last which offers a flawless look to the skin.)* Set the concealer and foundation with a loose yellow powder.
This helps keep the look fresh, longer.* Dust the T-Zone with bronzer. This warms up the skin tone.
(We were having fun. Who says you can’t laugh during beautification?!)

* Apply blush to the apples of the cheeks.
This gives the face the pop of color needed to complete the look.

* One coat of lipstick is applied.
Try not to lick your lips throughout the day and your color will last longer.
You can always reapply, but the first application provides the cleanest look.(Lip color is so personal, the color is all about your preference.
If there is a color you want to wear but don’t think you can “pull it off?” Try a liner as base to tweak the color. You would be surprised what colors anyone can wear when the undertones are changed ever so slightly to compliment the skin tones.)

The finished product is exquisite. Don’t you think?That wraps up the “how to” portion of the “day” make-up.
Ariel has answered several questions below that are commonly asked.
Hopefully her answers will be as helpful to you as they have been to me.

Remember to ask your questions and come back next week for the answers and another tutorial on transitioning your “day face” to your “evening face” with few steps and big results.

1.) How important is foundation/concealer/primer for the overall look?
I would definitely say that, concealer is most important. Putting concealer under your eyes can immediately make you look refreshed. You can also cover up any trouble spots (blemish, sun spot, etc) on the face with concealer too. Foundation would be the next most important because it allows you to even out your skin tone. Primer is not necessary every day, unless you really need your makeup to stay fresh.

2.) If you could only have 3 items in your makeup bag (not including cleanser or moisturizer) what would they be?
Lipgloss! (I love lipstick and chapstick too) My favorite thing is lip gloss because it gives a hint of color and shine quickly. Keyword is “quickly”…being a mother of two, I need to be efficient in every area. I would then say concealer because I can touch up any trouble areas. Last, but not least, mascara. I love what it does, but I also just love putting it on.

3.) What benefits are there to using brushes to apply make-up instead of pencil and sponges?
Good brushes are made to pick up the product and place it onto the face. They won’t absorb too much of your product, unlike a sponge. Also you can clean your brushes, unlike a sponge that can harbor bacteria. Can you tell I am not a fan of sponges? I think they can be used, but they need to be thrown out often. I love lip and eye pencils. I just don’t use them as often because that is not what I am used to anymore. Working for Bobbi Brown I didn’t like the eye pencil’s so I used their gel eyeliner or a powder eye shadow. So I guess I don’t prefer one over the other, just a habit. I really like Lancôme’s waterproof pencil eyeliners.

4.) What advice do you have for someone just starting to wear make-up? I’ve heard the saying, “Less is more.” Do you agree?
Go to a cosmetic section of your favorite story and just look around at the different brands. Try and find what you like and then talk with the representative at the counter. They should be receptive to someone who is new to makeup and willing to give a tutorial if it’s a good time. You may have to book an appointment. I love TONS of different cosmetic companies and am not trying to push Bobbi Brown, but they are a great teaching line. The representatives are used to walking clients step by step through the makeup process. I was someone who wore WAY too much makeup, I think I still struggle with this. I do think “less is more” unless you are going for a more dramatic look.

5.) What is the rule about dark eyes and dark lips? Can one wear both? Should one choose one or the other?
This is tough. I would say during the day, don’t do both, but at night it can work. I always try to decide what the client wants to focus on – their eyes or lips. I think that is a great rule of thumb, to think about what you want to make a statement with. I typically focus on my eyes, rather than lips. I don’t think you have to choose one or the other because it can work, but I would say the results are often better when you pick one or the other.

6.) What is one tip or fact you wish everyone knew when it came to their particular eye color and shape?
I want people to understand that there is not a science to it. I would recommend trying different colors and then taking a step back and saying, “What did this look do for me?” If you feel pretty and uplifted then it’s probably a good color. If you feel blah and like you have a black eye…probably not a good look. I love eyeliner on every eye shape. If you apply this one step to your makeup routine then you can really frame your eyes. The eyeliner doesn’t have to be dark! This is a misconception that often keeps people from trying it at all.

7.) Is there a trick for keeping lipstick off your teeth?
Make sure your lips are not too moist to hold the color. You may apply foundation or powder on the lips as a primer. My first choice would be applying a lipliner first throughout the lip and then applying the lipstick always makes the lipstick last. Don’t glob it on. Only put on a few layers and try to avoid putting too much on the inner lip because as soon as you close your mouth it is going on the teeth. Also, if you put a lip gloss over your lipstick (which I love) this can make the lipstick run. It’s better to reapply your lipstick than walk around with it on your teeth! Yuck! If all else fails you can do the index finger trick. You purse your lips around your finger and pull it out. It’s messy, but in a pinch it will get excess color off your lips.

Want to know what brushes were used? How to find the right foundation for your complexion? What if you don’t like foundation and just use concealer? Does it need to be expensive to work? Ariel can answer all of these questions and more, so ask away. We will see you next Thursday (same time, same place) for another beauty installment and answers to your questions with Ariel.
(If you would like a detailed list of products used, including specific brushes, please comment in the section below.)

Intimacy ~ It’s not what you think

What is the first thing that came to mind when you read the title of this post? For me, it’s sex. The truth is, intimacy is so much more than that.

After conversing with people from all walks of life, it’s incredibly clear that there is a real disconnect when it comes to intimacy, sex and being vulnerable.

This is something worthy of discussion. And not just once or twice. Ongoing. Admittedly it’s a tricky subject. I don’t want to make any career altering statements and at the same time I want you to understand that it’s not about where you’ve been as much as where you are.

Women, I don’t know what you’ve grown up hearing about sex, but here is what I know to be true…
It doesn’t have to be dirty.
It’s possible to relinquish everything that has happened and start fresh.
Nothing feels as good as redemption.
When you give yourself permission to stop sorting through the wreckage, you discover a new kind of freedom.

Men, don’t treat us like a whore. We don’t want to feel replaceable and when we look amazing, TELL US.

I cannot say everything I want to say. Nor explain in detail where my heart is on this because, quite honestly, it wouldn’t be pertinent to everyone and there are things in my relationship with my man that are just ours. Sacred things that allow us to look across a crowded room at each other, confident that we are fully known.

Love in it’s purest form. Transparency without limitations. Trust beyond comfort. The unalloyed definition of relationship. A safe haven. A source of life and freedom. Being pursued and overtaken by someone who wants every part of you, and you them. Heart, mind, body, past and present. That is intimacy.

If you are in a committed relationship and you are not able to do this, something is missing. I didn’t say, “Something is wrong.” I said, “Something is missing.” Marriage is your golden ticket to “get your freak on.” Not in a crazy sadistic sort of way, but in a fun, exploratory sort of way.

If you don’t believe me, If you are someone who can’t even be naked in your own presence without shame and embarrassment, I would encourage you to start with the following…
Stop making small talk or expecting a long conversation before being physical. When you are at a level of true intimacy, it’s possible and at times more beneficial to communicate without using words.
Be comfortable in your skin. It’s okay to be naked with the lights on.
DO NOT, under any circumstance, discuss perceived flaws of your physique.
Learn about your body. We are complex creatures. It doesn’t go down the way it’s depicted in movies. It’s better!

Now, go send your hunka burnin’ love a suggestive text message… even if you’re right next to them. It may be their go-to while sitting in that budget meeting tomorrow at work.

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