Category Archives: Wisdom and Truth

Qualifications vs. Motivations

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How do you know if you’re qualified to have a positive impact in the life of another human being?

I’m no expert, but after observing and working with some incredible individuals who are changing the world one person at a time, while trusting God to provide what they need when they need it, this is what I have learned…

You don’t need;

A college degree
A passport
A car
The ability to speak a foreign language
A six figure income
To be a missionary
A perfect past
A membership
To have read the bible from cover to cover
A title
A 401K

You do need;

Willingness

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Don’t wait until you’re able. Your definition of “able” may never come. Open your clenched fists, releasing what you think is so important. Extend your open hands to the Creator of all things.

You bring the willingness, God will provide you with the ability.

“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us…” ~Ephesians 3:20

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you still follow the same way of thinking that you were taught growing up? Do you agree that one determined individual can change the world?

If you want to see an example of faith in action, click on the organizations below to learn more.
Sole Hope
People of the Second Chance
charity: water
Sillicom Vally
Jud Wilhite
Christopher B. Wolf

Head full of Hope: A Story in Pictures

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This is a story about my Bella. She is 14 and always looking for ways to make a difference. With the limited resources that she has, she must get creative when supporting others. She knew that she had one thing to give that could potentially impact someone her own age.

Let’s see if a picture really is worth a thousand words…

In the chair at Van Michael Salon in Buckhead with Kelly

Kelly making the first cuts.

The first pieces are in her hand

Second section of cutting

12 inches of beautiful hair

Styling the new do

Remnants of what's left and unusable

Finished Product

She is smiling for several reasons. One being that she feels like she weighs 10 lbs. lighter.

A GREAT BIG THANK YOU to Kelly at Van Michael Salon in Buckhead. She took care of everything. They are a participating salon in Locks of Love.

Strike that from the Record

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I must confess, I say things at times that I immediately want to retract as they are streaming from my mouth.

The world seems to move in slow motion and it’s as if I can see the words leaving my lips and slapping the recipient in the face.

“Nooooooooooooooo!”

Too late! It’s already out there. Whether I meant to say it or not, despite the wrongdoings that sparked my fiery tongue, words have landed and made an impression. Whether they take root or wither is accordingly to how the person process’. I am not responsible for the way my words are received. I am responsible for the delivery. Yikes!

Do you have any experience with this? I have been thinking about it quite a bit recently as it was brought to my attention that I had said something in a way that it was never intended. I apologized swiftly, analyzed it for several days, made a plan to keep it from happening again and moved on.

It wasn’t too long after that I found myself listening to a juicy bit of gossip. Before I even knew what was happening, I was participating. We women, especially, have to resist the temptation to disguise gossip as “Prayer requests” or concern in the form of, “Bless ‘er heart! Did you hear what happened to…”

What about phrases we say daily? Those weighty statements we don’t even consider? I knew you would want a few examples, so here they are…

“Are you really going to wear that?!”
“You’re ridiculous!”
“What’s you’re problem?!”
“Do your ears work?!”
“You’re crazy!”
“You’re driving me nuts!”
“That is the dumbest idea! It will never work!”
“You are always late.”
“That’s just the way you are. I’ve learned to work with it.”
“Have you ever come up with an original idea or do you always have to take credit for those you steal from others?”
“You don’t have a creative bone in your body!”
“You’re useless!”

Several of these may seem extreme while others are written off as sarcasm. What if we took 2 seconds to think about what we were going to say before we interjected it into someone’s day?

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” It’s a choice, is it not? Much like everything else that has a positive and negative side. Even if you’re not a bible-thumper, you can recognize truth when you see it.

Let’s have some fun! I have copied the negative statements above and replaced the words that wound.
“Are you really going to wear that?!” “You looked so great in that black shirt you wore the other day! Why don’t you throw on some jeans and wedges with that top?”
“You’re ridiculous!” “You are being so silly!”
“What’s you’re problem?!” “Is everything okay? Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Do your ears work?!” “Did you hear me?”
“You’re crazy!” “You’re one of a kind!”
“You’re driving me nuts!” “I need some quiet time for a few minutes.”
“That is the dumbest idea! It will never work!” “I see where you’re coming from. Maybe we can look at it another way as well? Have you thought about this?”
“You are always late.” “It’s tough getting to these early morning meetings, isn’t it? Maybe it would help to get up a few minutes earlier?”
“That’s just the way you are. I’ve learned to work with it.” “What do you think about this approach? Sometimes it’s beneficial to try something new.”
“Have you ever come up with an original idea or do you always have to take credit for those you steal from others?” “That is another great idea! How in the world did you come up with that?! Wow!”
“You don’t have a creative bone in your body!” “You are so great at organization. Maybe you could share some of your secrets for keeping all of those files straight.”
“You’re useless!” “Do you feel like your talents are being utilized in this current role? I want you to be in a position to thrive.”
(If you came up with better responses, stop laughing at mine and share yours in the comments section.)

So, here is my challenge to you and to me. For the next 7 days, before uttering a word to anyone, take 2 seconds to ask yourself, “Is it Kind?” “Is it True?” “Is it Helpful?” If the answer is not a resounding “YES!” to all of these, don’t say it.

Do you think you can do it? I hope I can!

(Images courtesy of google)

Gifts for Free

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GO

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Winter has passed, New Life is emerging

Life: A 25 year old female took her own life Wednesday by jumping from a balcony almost 30 floors high. Her body lay just 10 steps away from our church. With one decision to assign a permanent solution to a temporary problem, the gift is gone.

Prayer: The ability to stay in constant communion with the God of the Universe. His direct line is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. How often am I utilizing that gift?

Praise: Lifting my voice in uninhibited adoration of Creation to the Giver of Life. The ultimate gift giver loves the sound of our praise.

Laughter: Opening my mouth and letting the sound of laughter flow freely and without repose. Using my words and actions to invoke happiness in the form of smiles, laughter and undiluted joy.

Retreat: When I am able to find time away from the noise of the world.

Love: Without conditions. Without getting tired. Strongly, Deeply, Purely, Boundlessly.

STOP

Does this make me look fat?

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Ladies, why do we even ask this question? We know when we look fat. We are setting the recipient of our insecurity, up for a no win situation.

Here’s the deal, I’m tired of feeling things jiggle when I walk.
I have been bartering with myself for the last year when it comes to dropping some lbs.

It sounds something like this. I will pay closer attention to what I eat and don’t eat…
If I have to go up another pants size
If I have a roll under my bra
If I ever have a “gut”
If I’m uncomfortable naked
If one of my children ever says, “Am I having a baby brother or baby sister?

The list goes on, but that’s the gist.

Well, today was the day. I stopped making excuses. I decided to make a change. I dusted off the shake mix that I bought last year for this very reason and I made a shake as a meal replacement.

Doesn’t sound like a big deal, does it?

Well for someone who has never had a “working relationship” with food, it’s a very…big deal.

I have never thought of food in a positive way. In fact I rarely think of food at all. Which sounds funny coming from someone who is as big as she’s ever been.

For 12 years I had a condition called bulimarexia. Weird huh? I always liked being unique. I couldn’t just have your ole run-of-the-mill bulimia or anorexia, I had to have a combination of the two. I think it’s the bipolar of eating disorders.

Sometimes I would restrict for days eating a mere 165 calories and then I would switch it up by binging anywhere from 2,500-5,000 calories in one sitting and then stick my finger down my throat until there was nothing left but stomach acid. When I was feeling extra bold I would throw down a few boxes of laxatives (30-75 pills.) I still remember the way the pink candy coating tasted, especially when I would take too many and forcefully vomit.

BUT, I was skinny.

My family would say things like, “You’re killing yourself. You know that, right?”
“Well, at least I’ll die skinny.” I would say.
Talk about shallow, insecure and egotistical all wrapped into one dysfunctional package!

Without turning this post into a share at a support group and in an effort to shine light on this that I like to keep hidden, I wanted to be forthcoming about the monster within who rears its ugly head any time I consider focusing on the daily ins and outs of eating.

If I’m being completely honest, I’m scared.
Scared that I’ll fail. Scared that I’ll return to old habits that show results more quickly than doing it the right way. Scared that I have screwed up my metabolism so much that there’s no going back. Scared that I will become obsessed with the calories, portions and fat grams again.

So here, in the quiet of morning, when it’s only God and me. I ask Him to whisper His promises when I need them most. I ask for His protection from the monster within. I ask for His guidance as I walk this road to a healthier me. I ask for His grace when I am frustrated and want to quit.

This is a lifestyle that I am learning. Not a diet, or the newest craze. It’s a way to live in harmony with something that I need to sustain me.

In case you’re wondering, I gave up the eating disorders when I put down the booze. That was October 19, 2002.

Why did it take me so long to embark on this challenge to have a positive relationship with food? It’s like any other toxic relationship. I never wanted to return to the place of making an effort to control my weight.

The difference is, I don’t need alcohol to live, but I need food to survive. So, here I am…at the beginning…looking ahead, not behind. It’s going to be hard for me. The discipline to be healthy and not cut corners, will be difficult.

I’m ready. Today, I begin a new life.

If you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, please, please, get help. It is serious and it wants to take your life. You can start by visiting the National Eating Disorders Association.

A Mother’s Venom

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Cue circus music…. I envision myself balancing these long poles with plates spinning on each. Lately I have picked up a couple more plates. They are good plates. Plates that I have been working towards adding. So up they go onto the pole, spinning.
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Today I dropped a plate (metaphorically speaking). It was one of the most beautiful and valuable. It was the mother plate.

I unleashed my toxic mom venom through my attitude, words and actions with my boys.
I hate when I willingly choose to give them the leftovers of my day.

I yelled at them to “STOP YELLING!” I sighed a lot. I snapped a reply when asked a question. I treated my most precious treasures as if they were an inconvenience.

“So what now?” You ask.
How do I right my wrong?

~ I acknowledge that my behavior is unacceptable.
~ I abandon all expectations of how they will respond. I am responsible for how I respond and communicate, not how another person receives and communicates back.

I ask for forgiveness, I cut myself some slack.

Tomorrow is a new day. A fresh start. A clean beginning. That is grace. Grace so undeserving that it can only come from our Creator and the author of our story.

Here’s the deal, I am going to have to put down at least one plate. Which one? How do you choose?!

I invite God in to the process and simply say, “Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” More will be revealed as I seek His will, His face and His heart.

How many plates are you spinning? Ever dropped one?

The Ultimate Exchange

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As human beings, we want to be heard, noticed and affirmed. We want to know that we matter. There are multiple opportunities throughout the day to connect with strangers in a way that says, “I understand.” without using words.

At times I am blind to those right in front me… within arms reach. When I begin to view myself through the distorted lens of my ego, I will quickly think myself “better than.” I must thoroughly and swiftly diffuse this misconception.

When I come to the end of myself is when my eyes are opened and I can readily relate to the pain of another. “God, open my eyes to see what you see.”

By asking God to direct my thinking, the simple, seemingly mundane, happenings throughout the day take on new form. Instead of judgement, I can see myself…

~ In the eyes of the elderly lady in the check out line trying to separate her coupons one by one with shaking hands, as the line behind her grows longer and the faces appear more agitated while the exaggerated sighs confirm disapproval.
~ In the little boy on the corner awkwardly waiting alone for his bus.
~ In the driver with aggravated hands in the air and a marred expression on her face, showing her disdain for the fact that the person in front of her is turning left when she needs to go straight.
~ In the expression of the little girl, just scolded by her mother, with tears running down her cheeks.
~ In the suit walking across the street falsely exuding the confidence that he so desperately wishes he had.
~ In the cashier at the deli with diamond earrings too big to be real, red fingernails and enough makeup to think she’s hiding how desperately she wants someone to see her for who she really is.
~ In the lady pumping $4.39 worth of gas into her car, praying that it’s enough to last at least a couple of days.

Throughout my day, I am capable of relating, encouraging and projecting light onto others. Isn’t that what God called me to do as a follower of Christ? After all, it wasn’t that long ago when I was the one sending silent screams of desperation to anyone who would notice.

I assess my day on the drive home. What could I have done better? Where could I have chosen compassion? How will I live tomorrow differently?

On this particular day, my heart is heavy and my thoughts are many. I pull into the garage, walk into the house, slip my shoes off at the door and head up the stairs.

There it is.

I pick it up and run my finger along the intricate work in the beautiful silver adorning the wood. I can remember when I saved enough money to buy this cross. I had been eyeing it for weeks.

Today, I see myself in it as well.

This cross was bought with a price. I cherish it. It is strategically placed in a part of our room where I see it multiple times a day. A visual reminder of the beautiful gift that Christ gave, in giving His life for mine all those years ago and then saving me again not so very long ago.

It all comes back to the cross.

As I rest the beautiful symbol back in it’s place, I smile, exhale, and bask in the eternal security of the ultimate sacrifice of my Savior. His crucifixion on a cross (made from a tree that His Father created), stained with His blood (that sanctifies my sin), displaying His body (naked and vulnerable), beaten beyond recognition… for me… and for all of those I see throughout the day, coming and going.

We were all bought with a price, much too high for my earthly mind to comprehend. Imagine the possibilities if we were able to fully absorb and then exemplify to others the meaning of the cross.

It changes everything.