Stepping Back Into The Ring

Posted on July 10, 2018 by Joy

Quite some time has passed since we met here, in this space.
Enough time to have my hair bleached blonde, travel thousands of miles and remove any doubt that writing is part of who I am. I need it for my sanity as my lungs need air to breathe.

I have been writing.
Sporadically.
Going longer periods between has caused inner turmoil for which there is no other cure than meeting you here, more frequently, and being my fully authentic self.

Something happened last Spring. Something that would change the trajectory of my future.
I decided it was time to wean off some prescribed medication that I had been taking every day for 2 years for degenerative disc disease & chronic pain in L4, L5 & S1 of my spine.

Each one of our children was going through battles of their own which many times presented as a seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

I fell back into my eating disorder. Hard.
I was all in.

We were being pressed from every side… and I wasn’t handling it well.

We will dive into the most difficult year in the life of our family, through stories from the depths of my memory. Which means there is mentionable room for error. I thought I was being authentic before, but Darlins’ as the song says, “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet”

I should probably let you know that some subjects call for a 4-letter word (or two). I don’t mean to offend. I love Jesus, and I cuss a little. “Progress not perfection“, is my mantra.

This is a safe space to be vulnerable. I want to lead by example and to pretend I don’t say the “s” word, even when writing is lying, and we don’t want to build our relationship on a lie.

So here’s the deal…I won’t preach religion. I don’t think that’s what Jesus did, so I won’t.
I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on everything, although I do consider myself a master of my personal adventures. I believe I am a spiritual being having an earthly experience, not the other way around. (I’m 99.99% sure Oprah said that on Super Soul Sunday. I’m borrowing it now.)

What I will do is keep it real.

I will speak truth…my truth to the best of my ability and I will pray for each of you, every day, on this journey.

If you aren’t sure about God…believe that there is no God…are a bible beater…a seeker…a Jesus freak…a veteran Christian or anything in between, my hope is that something here will resonate in your gut and move you to positive action.

Thank you for taking the time out of this incredibly busy life to listen to my compilation of thoughts. I hope that you will visit often, leave encouraged and know that no matter what, you are not alone.

Remember this truth, God does not change and He is never surprised by anything. He created you with great purpose and there’s nothing you or anyone else can ever do to ruin that.

Love & Gratitude,

#ProdigalDaughter #Ransomed #Redeemed #Restored #Renewed #Refined #POTSC

When Beauty is a Beast

Posted on August 21, 2014 by Joy

Some days… when standing before my reflection, stripped of everything… motives, guilt, expectations, past images, I can honestly look at my body and speak the words of Psalm 139 with great certainty.

I do well most of the time, but when the body image monster sneaks up on me, it does so with a vengeance. I go from being comfortable in my skin to feeling like the reflection in a fun-house mirror. I wonder whose body I’m trapped in and when the merger occurred. I see my curves as too curvy. My hair appears dull. My laugh lines are deep and obvious. My image is distorted.

It’s no secret that my relationship with food and exercise is less than ideal.

(I’m honored to be writing for Leading and Loving It today. Will you join me over there and read the rest of this post?)

Come to the Edge

Posted on June 14, 2012 by Joy

These early morning encounters with my Savior have become sacred.
I never would have thought that being awakened before dawn would be something I cherished or even welcomed. However, now in these moments, it feels like a personal invitation from the King to come and sit in His presence.

I have been meditating on a quote that I first heard from my dad when I was much younger. It’s by Guillaume Apollinaire;
“‘Come to the edge,’ he said.
They said, ‘We are afraid.’
‘Come to the edge,‘ he said.
They said, ‘We will fall.’
‘Come to the edge,’ he said.
They came.
He pushed them
and they flew.”

There is an edge in my life right now.
One that could be a place of great clarity and promise.
But I’m afraid.
So I sit here in the silence of early morning and ask the Father for guidance.
There is a beautiful stillness,
A comforting acknowledgement,
A desire just to be in His presence, soaking up His faithfulness.

It is a place where the only requirement is that I show up.
Nothing is demanded of me. Nothing.
There is perfect peace as I listen to the symphony of nature just outside the window.

I bring this internal stirring to the One who knows me best.
I lay it at His feet.
I will wait for direction
and in the meantime I will rest in the evidence all around and inside
of His provision, unrelenting grace and love without conditions.

Have you come to the edge of something potentially wonderful? What’s holding you back?