Our Darling Boy

Posted on March 11, 2013 by Joy

The last three weeks have been filled with fevers, coughing, headaches, sleepless nights, lot’s of tissues, cough drops, and smoothies from the freezer section at Costco.

Being a parent is wonderful. There is no equivalent. However, adding sick kiddos and mama getting sick to the mix increases the difficulty significantly.

Amidst all the runny noses, sneezes and sore throats there was something to celebrate… Riley's Happy Birthday hat

Caden turned 5. Five years old! My baby. He claims he is no longer a baby and he’s right, but he will always be my baby.

The morning started with Chris’ delicious Belgian waffles. Caden was elated and smiled throughout our Happy Birthday song.

It was time for making wishes, blowing out candles and feeling the first bit of sugar entering the system as maple syrup.

Next came the gifts, of which his favorite was the Angry Bird fan filled with candy from Aunt Carrie. He also loved the Lego’s and always enjoys putting them together with his daddy. 1,000 pieces New Legos Firetruck The highlight of his afternoon was celebrating with fro-yo from Yoforia. What better for a sore throat? The other patrons joined us in singing. It was so fun!

We enjoyed dinner backwards as after Yoforia we went for “fancy” hotdogs. Mine was veggie and it was delicious.

The next week we celebrated with school friends which properly completed the festivities of transitioning Caden into his 5th year.

I realize this has been a total “Mommy post” which is somewhat out of the norm for my writings. I’m under the weather, making me more vulnerable to the sappy side. You won’t hold it against me, will you?

And let’s be honest…I’m insanely proud of my boys and sometimes it’s therapeutic to share my adoration so that I don’t explode.

In It to End It

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Joy

Yesterday I disappeared…from social media, that is.
And as ridiculous and spoiled as it sounds, it was incredibly difficult.
I realized how often I quickly scroll through Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest on my phone while sitting in traffic, in the carpool line, at my kitchen table, in the drive-thru at Starbucks, before falling asleep…crazy right?

It was eye-opening and heartbreaking to think of how technology has become so second nature that it’s a reflex when so many have no voice. When I want to say something, often of no importance, I hop on one of my many social media outlets and “express myself.” Yesterday, I had to stop multiple times throughout the day from logging into the loop of instant updates.

As I sit here on my chenille sofa, typing on my MacBook Pro, with a cup of hot tea at my fingertips (to help soothe the cold I feel coming on), I am forced to think of the 27 million people for sale. And it took tearing my grip from social media for 24 hours to really get my attention.

So…you may be thinking, WIIFM? Which, if you aren’t familiar with that acronym it means, “What’s In It For Me?” (We all ask it whenever faced with a difficult decision.)
Well, that depends on you. Honestly, I don’t know my part in all of this. I don’t know where my place is and how I can be an ember amid massive atrocity and unfathomable evil? The one thing I know to do is share it with you. The one thing I can do is write. So today, here in this place, I will raise awareness with my voice, for the many who’ve been silenced and left without choice. Today, I will do what I can with what I have.

What can you do? First, remember this quote that strips us of excuses while hopefully inducing laughter, “If you think you’re too small to make a difference, you’ve never been to bed with a mosquito.”

Next, watch the short clip below, think about the faces fading in and out on the screen…picture someone you know in one of these hellacious scenarios…what would you do? Where would you start? Will you share this information on your blog, website and in your social media circles? You may not think it’s a lot, but it’s so much more than nothing.

Every picture you click on in this post with the End It logo will take you to their website. I will also have a button on the right side of my site with the End It logo that will lead to their website as well.

For more information and facts on slavery, you may download these PDF documents taken directly from the END IT website. Thank you.
Slavery Facts
Slavery Has A Face
END IT Manifesto
Rave Card

One big beautiful mess

Posted on December 3, 2012 by Joy

Typically the words mess and beautiful are not associated. For me, they are. You are entering one of the most private places in my life. The inner room. My sanctuary. My retreat from the noisy world. My transport to creativity.

Here it is… Mess Doesn’t look much like an inner sanctum, does it?

The chair that holds the mountain of laundry is my writing chair. It’s where I sit and let my mind breathe. It’s where I go for my decompression session of one. As you have already guessed it’s impossible to write in this space when it looks like this. It’s also completely overwhelming to think about where even to start.

I’ve been doing it for years. Washing clothes and piling them in a place that is out of visitor’s view, where I can return later to sort, fold and put away. With five people in the house it’s not that easy and the bigger the pile, the more the stress grows.

It reminds me of my inner turmoil. I can hide it from the outside world for a while. I can close the door to that room so you can’t see inside. But eventually it spills over into other areas and it’s not as easy to hide anymore.

This mess begins to affect my morning routine when I’m getting ready for work. My evening when I come home from a long day. Intimacy with my man as it is an eyesore in our bedroom. I can only step over it, dig through it and make excuses for so long until I’m forced to look directly at it, admit the toll it is taking on my mental, spiritual and emotional health and commit to cleaning it up. It’s the wreckage of my present and it’s ugly.

I have discovered a system for seeing it through from start to finish. It’s called the “circle of serenity.”
circle I have to get right in the middle of it, hunker down and start sorting. If I stick to it, soon I have neat piles, assigned by owner. Before attempting to put anything away, everything must be sorted and folded. Sounds simple right?

It really isn’t very different from my mind. I have to do the same thing with thoughts and emotions. They pile up as well. Often times requiring sitting down and committing to sorting things out.

There are many other things I would rather be doing, but when I reach the end result I am always grateful for the process.
Clean Ah, that’s the chair I know and love. The one that envelopes me and summons the artist within. My little corner of the world where I can process, meditate and be restored to a healthy place.

What about you? Can you relate to my sabotaging one of the few places I find peace?

3 ways women can learn Victoria’s secrets

Posted on November 30, 2012 by Joy

We’ve all heard it said that men are visual. I believe it to be true.
For some reason women, especially “women of faith” either voice issue with undergarments or treat it as taboo. Why?!

They say things like, “My husband shouldn’t have to see me in something red and tight to want me!” Truth is, he doesn’t! The end result is to see you in nothing at all, it just makes the trip there a little more fun.

Ladies, you are missing it! As a proud, card-carrying patron of Victoria’s Secret I’ve learned a few things over the years.

1.– There is the assumption that the only reason to wear lingerie is for someone else’s viewing pleasure. WRONG. I mean…half wrong. Wear lingerie because it increases your sex appeal…in the mirror. When you feel sexy, you’re more inclined to be sexy. Throw out those over worn granny panties. YOU will feel better in a little lace.

Not feeling so hot? “Throw some lace on it.”

2. – No matter your size, choose something that fits. Let me break this down for you…
If you’re a size 0, don’t buy a size 4 because you’re self-conscious and you’ve never worn anything form-fitting, above the knee or off the shoulders. Ladies, I’m not asking you to wear this get-up while shopping at the grocery store! It’s in the privacy of your own home.

If you’re a size 16, don’t buy a size 8 and attempt to squeeze yourself into it. That will only make you feel worse about yourself. Buy for your body. Let me say that again. BUY FOR YOUR BODY. Not for the body you are aspiring to have. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. That’s what sales associates are there for.

3.– You can stop being judgmental and rationalizing why you don’t look like the model in the life-size mural on the wall in the store. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. We’ve all cut our eyes and hidden our husband and children from the half-naked woman strewn across the boudoir. (Those poor girls would give anything for a cheeseburger and a shake.) I’m telling you to walk in there proudly, warm pretzel nuggets in one hand, Starbucks beverage in the other and give that gal in the poster a little wink as you make your way to the “get your sexy on” or in some cases, “bring your sexy back” section of the store.

For those of you thinking, “There must be some scripture, somewhere to dispute wearing lingerie.” Bring it! I’ve never seen it, so enlighten me. I mean, have you read Song of Solomon?! There’s some pretty steamy stuff in there once you decode the palm tree, goat and pomegranate analogies.

I’m not telling you to blow the budget on fancy panties, but I’m pretty sure when discussing finances with your man, he will find room in the budget for a little shopping trip. Better yet, discuss budget in the buff. It’s always worked for me.

Your turn! Do you think any size woman should feel comfortable in lingerie? If not, what’s the cutoff?

Grateful

Posted on November 21, 2012 by Joy

The man I love lays down next to me. He reaches over, lightly caressing the top of my bare shoulder with his strong hand before sleep sets in. Nothing is said. Words are not needed. His arm slips down beside mine as his breathing changes to deep and rhythmic.

I turn to see the outline of his face in the darkness and I whisper, “Thank you God for this man.” His mind brilliant. His body strong. His passion intense and his love complete. Leaving my heart full and desires lacking nothing.

I take his hand and lace the sleepy fingers between mine to feel the energy pulsating through. Is this a dream? This life that I have… is it real? I have been asking myself that same question for the last 10 years. Usually at night when the only sounds are those heard when everything else is quiet.

I turn onto my side and close my eyes soaking in my reality. Knowing how completely undeserving I am of this man and the security he brings. Not underestimating the chemistry that we share.

Pressing my eyelids tight, expecting tears to come, they never do. I squeeze his fingers between mine as he sleeps, realizing that I am growing in the understanding of unconditional love. I am accepting the imperfection of self while giving in to the happily ever after that exists even for a girl like me. At least here. Now. In this place. In this moment of beautiful calm.

Five Minute Friday: Stay

Posted on November 16, 2012 by Joy

Words, quotes, statements, pleas, heartbreak, uncontrolled happiness… all flooded my mind when I read Lisa-Jo’s Five Minute Friday prompt.

Stay.

How many times and in how many ways do I use this word?

With my husband;
Can’t you stay in bed a little longer.
Can you stay with the boys while I run some errands.
Thank you for staying even when it wasn’t easy.
I could stay right here, in this moment with you forever.
Where will we stay when we go to __________?

With my children;
Stay right there! Don’t move!
I wish I could stay with you at school all day. It would be so fun!
We are going to stay with family when we go to California.
I wish you could stay this little forever.
Papaw is coming to stay for a few days!

I have so many uses for this word stay. Some healthy, others not so much. Regardless of the category in which they fall I have learned much about this word, my interpretation and the way I use it with others.

With Chris it’s, “Don’t leave yet. Stay.” What I’m really saying is, “I feel insecure. Please don’t leave me.”

When I tell my children I wish they would “stay little forever” it’s not really what I mean. I want them to grow and thrive and live life to the fullest.

Many times the things I wish could stay the same must evolve for my betterment. I don’t always see it, or want it for that matter, but it must. Few things stay the same and I am quite certain I wouldn’t want them to. Nothing but the Father’s love and faithfulness. Upon those I can rely, build my future and speak my truth. All else stays for a time and is gone.

My five minutes are up! Thanks for stopping by.

Five Minute Friday: Stay (fruitofgratitude.com)
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Will you marry me?

Posted on October 27, 2012 by Joy

We have this adorable little girl in our lives named Aubrey. She is my close friend’s daughter. She is funny and precious, full of wonder and overflowing with character. I cannot imagine life without her.

Oh, and I should probably mention that when asking my youngest son about her, his response is, “She’s my girl.”Yesterday I asked if she could come with us to the Botanical Gardens so that Caden wouldn’t be so reluctant to go and so that I could practice photographing with a specific lens. As always, it was delightful and we had a fun time running through trails, looking at fall decor and smelling exotic flowers.

The time I will most remember is sitting around the table at lunch. The conversation that followed was priceless. I was snapping pictures as quickly as I could throughout the discussion.

“Caden, do you wanna marry me?”