3 Ways I’m Learning to Manage My Mania

Posted on September 12, 2014 by Joy

manic |ˈmanik|
adjective
• showing wild and apparently deranged excitement and energy
• frenetically busy; frantic
• Psychiatry relating to or affected by mania
Being manic is one color of my crazy. The onset is sudden and usually follows a series of events (bad or good) that require emotional processing. As I’ve mentioned before, food followed by purging has been my way of coping with seemingly overwhelming circumstances. I’m grateful to say that, though the struggle is persistent, I am learning other ways to deal. If bulimia and restricting calories is your vice of choice, I’m here to tell you, there are strategies that work better and longer than the momentary euphoria accompanying an eating disorder (or any self destructive behavior, for that matter).

Acknowledge It ~ It sounds simple, but it isn’t…always. In order to rectify anything we must first confront it. It’s best we do this before the one closest to us points it out. When I feel this wild energy bubbling up, I look at myself in the mirror and call it out. It usually sounds something like this, “Hey, crazy. Slow down. Take a step back. Wait to make any decisions until this chaos has calmed.” If Chris is the one pointing it out to me, for some reason, it is not well received.

Seek Wise Counsel ~ I have 3 advisers in my life. This week, I sought the direction of my spiritual adviser and counselor. I literally walked into her office blurting out the craziness swarming around in my brain. She listened and responded in a constructive and applicable way. The willingness to reach out and express my thoughts and compulsive behavior with someone who knows me and loves me anyway, is crucial to my wellness. Without it, keeping a clear and healthy approach to life is impossible.

Find a Quiet Space ~ I’ve said this before…when I need to “retreat” I sit on the floor of my closet with the door closed. It seems to be the only place I find stillness. There are times when I am in desperate need of divine direction and I can’t hear that direction if I don’t physically remove myself from all of the noise bombarding me every moment of every day. I close my eyes and breathe in a deep cleansing breath. As I slowly let it out, I envision myself physically exhaling the frantic and again, inhaling calm. This is surprisingly helpful. Just the mental image of the action, puts me at ease.
For those of you reading and nodding your head, “Yep. That’s me. Uh huh. Me too! How’d she know that?!” I hope this is a source of encouragement and hope for you. We all have our experience. What good is it if we’re not sharing it to help others face challenges and overcome adversity? There is so much power in being able to relate to another human being. In doing so we’re saying, “You’re not alone. I get it.”

Does this resonate somewhere with you? Maybe you thought of someone you know? Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.

This Day

Posted on March 6, 2013 by Joy

Pure Joy Some days just flow.
The kids don’t whine when waked up for school.
Breakfast is on the table when they come down with sleepy eyes and bed head.
They change into their clothes without being asked.
Lunches are packed.
Clean socks are waiting by shoes.
Jackets are on.
And they’re off for another day of learning and growing.
Walking out into a day paved with faith as we release them into the impeccable care of their Heavenly Father.
The house is quiet now.
The hum of the dryer is all that is heard.
The sun peeks through the clouds as snowflakes fall, quickly melting on impact.
The house is warm.
Smells of coffee and burnt cinnamon fill the air, rising to the ceiling.
It’s another day. Filled with endless possibilities. More than can be embraced.
My lips curve into a smile with teeth.
So this is grace.
This is the undeserved and grossly underrated exuberance of God.
This is the beauty of second chances.
This is light and hope. Blessings and goodness all swirled into normal.
May I remember this moment on the not so smooth days when the children whine from dawn to dusk and the pantry isn’t stocked from my lack of grocery shopping.
When there are no clean clothes and every step is a struggle.
I want to remember this warmth and calm of a peaceful heart at home.

When darkness attempts to shadow the Son

Posted on December 6, 2012 by Joy

For those who have been around the blog for a while, you know my belief is that something bigger than myself is protecting and guiding me. When you’ve lived within the grip of addiction (or most anything for that matter) you know that you are not in control and you’re thankful for that fact.

Still, we all have those days, right? The ones where we wake up feeling heavy with the sense of impending doom. We start believing the lies that we’re not good enough, we don’t have what it takes and we won’t reach the goal we’ve focused on. There are a variety of reasons for this.

Maybe it was a nightmare. Maybe its boredom or not recognizing the blessings. Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s regret. The challenge lies not in figuring out what it is necessarily, but how to confront it, change what can be changed and let go of the rest.

For some of us the holidays trigger all sorts of emotions. Not everyone is feeling as if it’s the “most wonderful time of the year.” For them, the last twelve months have been painful and filled with loss.

I want to encourage you, in whatever place this season finds you, surrender to where you are. Feel it without allowing it to penetrate your heart. For this girl, it’s the only way to move past it. Don’t drowned it in alcohol or stuff it down with food. Don’t try to throw it up or numb it through a variety of mind altering substances. Just be. Be in the moment without letting it consume you. I promise, when you do this, you will gain a better understanding of who God is and the purpose he has for your life.

These are the steps I use when needing to shift my emotional reality.

Find a quiet place and be still.
Acknowledge where you are mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
Focus on the cleansing breath going in through the nose, filling the lungs and entering each cell of the body, bringing with it healing and life.
Find one word or sentence to meditate on and if needed continue to repeat it in your mind or out loud, over and over throughout the day. It can be as simple as, “God, direct my thinking.” or “Forgiven.” or “Child of the King.” Whatever your word or phrase is, it must focus on the positive.

Chances are you will interact with someone who is not in the “holiday spirit.” What will your response be? Step out of yourself and be the light for someone else. In order to do that you must first invite the light in.

So tell me, are you in that place right now? Did you wake up nauseated by the thought of tinsel toppers, reindeer SUVs and red bucket ringers? How will you fill your mind today?

Five Minute Friday: Quiet

Posted on November 9, 2012 by Joy

Just saying the word quiet feels like exhaling to me.
My world has been rather noisy as I am pulled in a million different directions. Just typing it out here causes that feeling of angst to return. It is self-inflicted noise.

I am a lover of change. I enjoy juggling many different projects at once. Problem is, I have never been a friend to balance. I will take on more and more until I’m completely drained. It usually takes my man of more than a decade to reel me back in.

And when he does I realize just how much I love the quiet. I get up long before the sun, not to work on the next project, but to sit in front of the fire and listen to the sounds of early morning. Every now and then I will hear something that I think are not so little feet hitting the carpeted floor in the boy’s room and I think, “Please God, just give me 5 more minutes of…this.”

Just a few more moments of unobtrusive meditation and inward worship. The kind where I close my eyes and focus solely on the living breath in and the healing breath out. The quiet before the chaos of everyday life ensues. Just a few more minutes…with you…uninterrupted.

That is my wish for you today, everyday, that you will have a quiet place to retreat when the world around you is too loud. A place to close your eyes and focus on the breath filling and emptying your lungs. A place where being quiet speaks volumes.

What does quiet mean to you? Wanna tell the world in 5 minutes or less? Here’s how to play…
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously.