More like Jesus
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Tag Archives: Attitude
The Shadows
Lord, I have cried out
pleading throughout the night
for Your provision
guidance and
serenity
I lay before you now
downtrodden
face to the ground
acutely aware of how unworthy I am
To even be in Your presence is
so much more than I deserve
and yet, You know that
it is the only thing sustaining me
God, I am afraid
though You clearly say that
I am not to fear what man can do
I tremble at the possibilities
that mere humans hold over me
I was so sure
Lord, was it too much
was it too little
was it all an illusion
I am angry
search me
and reveal what is in me
that’s being allowed to rise up and steal my joy
I am sad
fill me
replace my sorrow with
the security of Your faithfulness
I am confused
breathe clarity
into my circumstances
so that more will be revealed
What I once thought was silence
I now know is peace
I feel Your presence
as You lead me to the cross
That sacred ground where you took upon yourself all the evil of the world
as you were nailed to a tree created by your hands
how can I even think of
continuing to carry anything but forgiveness
You are good
even in the uncertainty of this life
You are the only honorable part
of the story
You alone know my heart
You see the ugliness that festers
I am unable to change that
without Your divine intervention
You are God
and
I am not
Thy will be done
Mountain or Molehill?
A little more than 24 hours ago, this was my mountain.
It was overwhelming…daunting…I was exhausted by the thought of it.
I mean, I can’t even get to the washer to start a load! Ughhhhh…”I would rather donate these clothes than have to separate, wash, dry, fold and put it all away!”
I can sense you judging me.
Part of what you’re thinking is accurate.
I was behaving like a spoiled brat. I mean, who looks at their dirty laundry and prefers to give it away over washing it?! (Maybe I should stop wearing my tiara randomly around the house? Nah.) 
What?! You don’t wear a tiara while doing laundry, the dishes, scrubbing toilets, or anything else of importance?! I highly recommend it!
Then it happened…it happens every time I start whining about my circumstances. The girl with no shoes and a tired expression comes into my mind. She walks 6 miles a day just to get water. I imagine what her face would look like if she had a washer and dryer and if she could walk to the refrigerator and fill a cup with water that comes straight from the door. You don’t even have to open the fridge!
One may argue that this is a reaction of guilt. Maybe it’s the product of growing up in an environment where, if I didn’t finish a meal I would hear, “Children in Africa don’t have anything to eat. They would gobble that cauliflower right up and be thankful!”
However, one would be wrong. Visualizing the young girl having to walk miles to get water all while hoping she isn’t ambushed and raped along the way is a very true reality for many. I am fortunate enough to be here, in my home, in the land of plenty.
There are few things I dislike more than “housework,” none of it compares to what others endure on a daily basis for simple survival. I do enjoy vacuuming because I get to see instant progress by the tracks being made in the carpet as the vacuum removes all of the dust and dirt. However, when I think about the fact that I have an entire room dedicated to removing the stains, washing and drying my clothes… well… I am overcome with the reality that I am either spoiled beyond entitlement, immensely blessed, or a little bit of both.
Now that things were coming back into perspective and I was feeling a little more rational, I formulated a plan. Eight loads of laundry later, tiara still shining, this is the new view…
This may be a silly example to some, but for me the mess, our dirty laundry, made everything else seem bigger.
We all have our mountains. Some are daily, some weekly, others monthly. There are those that will only be part of our story once in our lifetime.
Compared to cancer, my mountain looks like a speed bump. However, for me it represents what’s going on with my insides. Does it seem a little more valid when I put it that way? When my spiritual life is in comparable condition to my laundry room before overhaul it calls for drastic measures. It is also a telltale sign that no maintenance is being done. If I would do a little bit of laundry everyday, my floor would not be covered with dirty clothes. Isn’t it the same with my spiritual life?
If you are still wondering if I am comparing my insides to my dirty laundry and the avoidance to clean it all up, the answer is a resounding, “YES!” I’m a simple gal (for today anyway), meaning I need simple illustrations that I can wrap my brain around. Jesus is for my soul what Tide is for my clothes. Shew! I am so thankful for grace!
A man much smarter than I, by the name of Thomas Merton wrote, “Once you have grace… you are free. Without it, you cannot help doing the things you know you should not do, and that you know you don’t really want to do. But once you have grace, you are free… there is no power in existence that can force you to commit a sin–nothing that will be able to drive you to it against your own conscience. And if you merely will it, you will be free forever, because the strength will be given you, as much as you need, and as often as you ask, and as soon as you ask, and generally long before you ask for it, too.” ~The Seven Storey Mountain
Walking past my clean laundry room gives me a sense of accomplishment and pride. Is that wrong? What’s your mountain today? Is victory attainable? Are you overwhelmed?
Live like Austin
There’s this brave little boy.
His name is Austin.
He has an undiagnosed seizure disorder.
Though he is small, his faith is big.
This is his story…
Austin is a 12 year old boy who’s parents serve at Central Christian Church in Las Vegas, NV. For the past 5 years Austin has suffered from life threatening seizures, and has as many as 80 – 100 a day.
On May 4, 2012 he faced his third brain surgery to try and stop these 
fatal seizures. He is recovering well.
This foundation is created for him and other children like him who suffer from a seizure disorder.
He never complains, always smiles, and laughs all the time. Despite having SO many seizures a day his spirit stays sweet. That is why people started saying “live like Austin”, as a challenge for us to live life with the same attitude even when faced with adversity.
Watch him and his dad talk about their journey.
You can follow Austin’s progress on the facebook page dedicated to his journey. Make sure to “like” his page and visit often.
How You Can Help
Show your support by purchasing a ”Live Like Austin” T-shirt like the one my Bella is wearing in this picture.
She suffered from undiagnosed seizures for years. We were fortunate to finally receive clear scans and wean her off the medication several years ago. When asked why she wanted a t-shirt, her response was, “I wear it to remember… I remember how scary seizures were. Thankfully I didn’t have any surgeries on my brain, but I could have. I like telling people what the shirt means. It reminds me to pray for Austin. PLUS it’s the coolest fundraiser t-shirt I’ve seen!”
This t-shirt will not only remind you
to live life to the fullest, but it will give you the opportunity to talk about this amazing boy and his incredible passion for life.
Thank you to Jud and Lori Wilhite for raising awareness by posting their picture on Twitter wearing this shirt. I have to admit, when I saw it I thought, “That’s a cool shirt. Where can I get one?!” It wasn’t until I visited the website that I learned of Austin’s story. Everyone in my house has a “Live like Austin” t-shirt now and every time we wear it people ask what it means and where they can get one. We have yet to wear them all at the same time, but I wouldn’t put it past us.
Learn more about Austin by visiting his website Austin Ervin Foundation and make sure to share his journey with others.
Five Minute Friday: Path
“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth,
so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind.
To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again.
To make a deep mental path, we must think
over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”
~Henry David Thoreau~
While out in the gardens this morning, we came across several beautiful paths. I wanted to share them with you. They are all different…beautifully unique…full of potential. What do you see when you look down these paths? Where do you think they go?
Where would they take you?
It’s a #FiveMinuteFriday flash mob! <—click to tweet this!
1. W
rite for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
Come to the Edge
These early morning encounters with my Savior have become sacred.
I never would have thought that being awakened before dawn would be something I cherished or even welcomed. However, now in these moments, it feels like a personal invitation from the King to come and sit in His presence.
I have been meditating on a quote that I first heard from my dad when I was much younger. It’s by Guillaume Apollinaire;
“‘Come to the edge,’ he said.
They said, ‘We are afraid.’
‘Come to the edge,‘ he said.
They said, ‘We will fall.’
‘Come to the edge,’ he said.
They came.
He pushed them
and they flew.”
There is an edge in my life right now.
One that could be a place of great clarity and promise.
But I’m afraid.
So I sit here in the silence of early morning and ask the Father for guidance.
There is a beautiful stillness,
A comforting acknowledgement,
A desire just to be in His presence, soaking up His faithfulness.
It is a place where the only requirement is that I show up.
Nothing is demanded of me. Nothing.
There is perfect peace as I listen to the symphony of nature just outside the window.
I bring this internal stirring to the One who knows me best.
I lay it at His feet.
I will wait for direction
and in the meantime I will rest in the evidence all around and inside
of His provision, unrelenting grace and love without conditions.
Have you come to the edge of something potentially wonderful? What’s holding you back?
And then there was Grace
Image
When I’m feeling hurried and stressed by the demands that I think the world is projecting onto me and I think I will explode if I’m slowed down by one more obstacle…
…He opens up the heavens and reminds me that He knows and He cares…
this is not my home…and red lights aren’t always a bad thing.
Even A Girl Like Me 