Being mere mortals

Clouds over tombsIt took me 35 years to come to terms with the inevitability of mortality.
After Elliot died, death became real…tangible.

Many things changed that morning in May.

It has been my experience that Christians are afraid to admit their fear of the unknown outside the walls of a counselor’s office and sometimes not even then can we come to terms with the truth that we have this one area of doubt in our lives where we aren’t 100% sure God will come through.

Sounds presumptuous doesn’t it?

It isn’t meant to be. It’s the way I lived my life for over 3 decades while claiming to be a “Christian.”

I am now a Christ follower, which for me, is different. It’s personal.

When I think of faith, I picture Jesus. I see Jesus instead of a steeple touching the sky. Instead of perfectly pressed black robes and intimidating marble columns. I think of Jesus…in sandals. Bearded face, dusty clothes, tousled hair. I think of Jesus.

When I think of him it’s impossible to be afraid. As soon as I take my eyes off of him, it’s impossible not to be.

Unlike the wrath of man, Jesus is the perfect balance of grace and truth.
Giving up his mortal descent to be born of a commoner, live with little and die a brutal death beside criminals. He experienced mortality to remove all of my excuses.

When the anxiety of the unknown creeps in, I must remember the Savior, who intentionally came and died as a man. He could have decided it was too difficult and called down the entire heavenly host to zap his adversaries and escort him back to paradise in a cloud of glory. But he didn’t.

Instead he chose to be misunderstood, ridiculed and put to death. He experienced the ultimate betrayal and physical pain beyond human comprehension. I can’t help but think part of the reason he walked the human path was in pursuit of me. Maybe it was to calm my heart when I don’t feel like an omnipotent God of the Universe can relate to my everyday struggle. It is then I am reminded that he too struggled with “life.” He wore human skin and felt all of the emotions I have questioned.

When I remember this truth, there is no argument. The answer is clear. Be not afraid. It adds not even a moment to my life. Be not afraid. The days, at times, seem long while the years grow ever shorter. Be not afraid. The road ahead, though wrought with uncertainty, leads to the everlasting. Be not afraid. Evil lurks, but love has won.

So
Live with intention
Love extravagantly
Be slow to speak
Quick to forgive
Eager to learn
and
Be not afraid.

Does this resonate with you? Talk to me? Why are we so afraid of what waits for us on the other side of this life?

31 Days of Blessings

Who doesn’t want to be blessed?

I’m not one to write out a list of resolutions, but I do like to claim one word of focus for the year ahead and also read something encouraging and motivating in the first 31 days.

The following from Max Lucado is one of my favorite readings and I want to share it with you. Feel free to download the pdf at the bottom of the page or come back and visit me each day for the reading.

I sure do appreciate your loyalty as a reader.
Happy New Year, Everyone!

“The Brazilians taught me the beauty of a blessing. Here is a scene repeated in Brazil thousands of times daily.

It’s early morning. Time for young Marcos to leave for school. As he gathers his books and heads for the door, he pauses by his father’s chair. He searches his father’s face. Bencao, Pai? Marcos asks. (Blessing, Father?) The father raises his hand. Deus te abençoe, meufliho, he assures. (God bless you, my son.) Marcos smiles and hurries out the door. Father and child part for the day, a blessing requested, a blessing willingly given. The son seeks his father’s favor as he begins his day. We should do the same. Like the child longing for the father’s favor, each of us needs a daily reminder of our heavenly Father’s love.

When I returned to the United States from Brazil, I began the practice of pronouncing a blessing on our church at the end of each service. It was my way of praying for them in their presence. I’d like to do the same for you. May each day’s blessing encourage you as you seek your Father’s face.”

One – A Blessing of Hope
May the God of peace, the eternal One and only God, grant you an awareness of his immediate return. May you be patient, may you be eager, but most of all may you be found ready when he calls.

“Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”
1 Peter 1:8, NIV

Two – A Blessing of Grace
Today, may you go in the grace and peace and the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. May the grace he has given you be the grace that you share with others.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing.” Galatians 2:20-21, NIV

Three – A Blessing for Protection
May the God of peace and grace and truth be your guide as you begin your day. May he go ahead of you and prepare the way. May he come behind you and protect you. May he surround you and make you aware of his presence.

“I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit. I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love.” Ephesians 3:16-17

Four – A Blessing for Daily Worship
Today, may you be aware that worship is a way of life — it’s not just a once a week event. May your worship never cease. May you continue living in the Father’s presence, and may you continue being thankful for what he has done.

“Shout to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with joy; come before him with singing. Know that the Lord is God. He made us, and we belong to him; we are his people, the sheep he tends. Come into his city with songs of thanksgiving and into his courtyards with songs of praise. Thank him and praise his name. The Lord is good. His love is forever, and his loyalty goes on and on.” Psalm 100

Five – A Blessing for Encouragement
May you know the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ today. Let his spirit overshadow and consume you. I pray that it gives you strength and courage and focus in everything you do today.

“God will strengthen you with his own great power so that you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient. And you will joyfully give thanks to the Father who has made you able to have a share in all that he has prepared for his people in the kingdom of light.”Colossians 1: 11

Six – A Blessing for Conviction
As your day begins, may the Father’s blessing be upon you. Be his quiet and holy representative. Be the one who takes a stand for that which is right. Be the one who reminds the world of what really matters in our world. Be the voice of God and the promise of eternity.

“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father encourage you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say. God loved us, and through his grace he gave us a good hope and encouragement that continues forever.”
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Seven – A Blessing for Guidance
May the Spirit which lives within you guide and convict you. Remember the message which brought you to him. Let it be the message you share with others. May peace and power be yours today.

“I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in him. Then your hope will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Eight – A Blessing of Anticipation
In everything you do today, may your spirit be one of eager expectation and patient trust. Eagerly expect your Father to return any minute, but patiently trust him to do what is right.

“Our homeland is in heaven, and we are waiting for our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, to come from heaven.” Philippians 3:20

Nine – A Blessing for the Soul
May the song within you which sings for eternity, sing loudly. Heed the songs of heaven. Dismiss the songs of earth. May the Father quiet the voices around you which tell you to settle for less than what he promises.

“Always be joyful. Pray continually, and give thanks whatever happens. That is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Ten – A Blessing for Eternity
Look for the Father’s face today. Seek him. Search for him. Pursue him. And may what you see cause you to long for the day you see him eternally.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In God’s great mercy he has caused us to be born again into a living hope, because Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Now we hope for the blessings God has for his children. These blessings, which cannot be destroyed or be spoiled or lose their beauty are kept in heaven for you.” 1 Peter 1:3-4

Eleven – A Blessing for Faithfulness
Seek to be holy, and in seeking holiness, serve God. As you go into the world today, go in his presence, in anticipation of his glorious return. And when he returns, may he find you faithful.

“I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love— how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is.” Ephesians 3:17-18

Twelve – A Blessing for Goodness
May God use you as a voice of holiness today. Seek the Father’s face and reflect what you see.

“Do not forget to do good to others, and share with them, because such sacrifices please God.” Hebrews 13:16

Thirteen – A Blessing for Quiet Time
As you spend time alone with God, allow the Lord to seed your heart with understanding. Invite him to spade and dig and shovel and fertilize those seeds so that his words will take root and bear fruit. Trust God to defeat the one who is lurking nearby, seeking to steal the seeds before they hit the ground.

“Plant goodness, harvest the fruit of loyalty, plow the new ground of knowledge. Look for the Lord until he comes and pours goodness on you like water.”
Hosea 10:12

Fourteen – A Blessing for Trust
God is strong and can help you not to fall. He can bring you before his glory without any wrong in you and can give you great joy. He is the only God, the One who saves. To him be glory, to him be greatness, to him be power and authority through Jesus Christ our Lord for all time, now and forever.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13, NIV

Fifteen – A Blessing for Righteousness
May the Father’s blessings be upon you as you go into the world today. Carry his banner. Reflect his love; embody his spirit. Show the tenderness that he has shown you. Give the grace you have been given.

“The Lord has done great things for us, and we are very glad.” Psalm 126:3
“Live in peace with each other.” 1Thessalonians 5:13

Sixteen – A Blessing for Commitment
God has uniquely equipped you for service. Recommit to God the gifts he has given you. Use the gifts to be a breath of fresh air and to help others who are seeking the Father. May they see in you a life blessed by faith.

“So brothers and sisters, since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him. Your offering must be only for God and pleasing to him, which is the spiritual way for you to worship. Do not change yourselves to be like the people of this world, but be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect.” Romans 12:1-2

Seventeen – A Blessing for Stewardship
Be grateful for what the Father has given you. Spend money as he would spend it. Be generous as God is generous. God loves a cheerful giver because he is a cheerful giver.

“You are rich in everything—in faith, in speaking, in knowledge, in truly wanting to help, and in the love you learned from us. In the same way, be strong also in the grace of giving.” 2 Corinthians 8:7

Eighteen – A Blessing for Focus
Today may you see Jesus and him only. May the Father have mercy upon you. Hear his voice, see his hand, and be aware that he is calling each of us home in everything he does.

“The Lord your God is with you; the mighty One will save you. He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful about you.” Zephaniah 3:17

Nineteen – A Blessing for God’s Promises
Go today in the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ. May the promise of your life and the promise of his return be the hope of your day.

“Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the Lord Jesus Christ with his mercy to give you life forever.” Jude 21

Twenty – A Blessing from the Cross
Ponder the price God has paid to purchase you. Be aware of the blood that was shed to make you holy and righteous. Know the peace that only he can give and the grace that only he can offer. Reflect that love in every step you take today.

“You do not belong to yourselves, because you were bought by God for a price. So honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Twenty-One – A Blessing for God’s Love
I pray that today you will realize the gift of God’s love—the incomparable love of the Father for his child. Such a love! A love that you sense with the passing of the breeze and coolness of the air. A love that comes not from one on earth , but the incredible love from One in heaven.

“God is love. ‘Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. Love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.” 1 John 4:16, NIV

Twenty-Two – A Blessing for Peace
God has given you his son. He has given you the Word. And he has given you his promise. May all three enrich your life, strengthen your work, and bring you peace.

“As you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so continue to live in him. Keep your roots deep in him and have your lives built on him. Be strong in the faith, just as you were taught, and always be thankful.” Colossians 2:6-7

Twenty-Three – A Blessing for Sharing the Message
Because the Father never closes out his passion for reaching people, I pray that today you will pray for those in your world who have yet to meet him. As you offer up the names of family members, friends, co-workers, may God see your heart for sharing the message with them. He will hear your earnest plea.

“God is fair; he will not forget the work you did and the love you showed for him by helping his people.” Hebrews 6:10

Twenty-Four – A Blessing for Courage
May God give you the confidence of Daniel to face any crisis. May you have the assurance of Moses and Abraham that God is on your side. May you be willing to let God work things out according to his plan and in his time. Never interpret God’s silence as God’s absence.

“Lord, even when I have trouble all around me, you will keep me alive. When my enemies are angry, you will reach down and save me by your power. Lord, you do everything for me. Lord, your love continues forever. Do not leave us, whom you made” Psalm 138:7-8

Twenty-five – A Blessing for Prayer
Be a soldier of prayer. Seek the Father before, during, and after your time of struggle. May the Spirit constantly remind you of the need for prayer, and of the Father’s desire to hear your voice.

“Pray in the Spirit at all times with all kinds of prayer, asking for everything you need. To do this you must always be ready and never give up. Always pray for all God’s people.” Ephesians 6:18

Twenty-Six – A Blessing for God’s Ambassadors

Radiate the peace of God wherever you go. Speak as Jesus spoke, touch as he touched, love with the love of people who look forward to heaven. May you restore God’s love in the lives of those you meet today.

“We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.” 2 Corinthians 5:20, NIV

Twenty-Seven – A Blessing for Gratitude
Have a grateful heart today. Everything you have comes from God and belongs to him. Share with others with a happy heart. Imitate the love of Jesus in dealing with others.

“Happy are those who respect the Lord and obey him. You will enjoy what you work for, and you will be blessed with good things.”Psalm 128:1-2

Twenty-Eight – A Blessing for Forgiveness
May you know the healing that comes from forgiving others. Relinquish any anger in your heart and remove any bitterness from your attitude. Lay these burdens at the foot of the cross. Vengeance is not yours—vengeance is God’s. Forgive others as you have been forgiven.

“Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ.” Ephesians 4:32

Twenty-Nine – A Blessing for Revival
The father is faithful. His dreams have never died. He is the great dreamer. May be invigorate your faith today, rekindle your love for him, and renew your commitment to make a difference in your world.

“Be alert. Continue strong in the faith. Have courage, and be strong.”
1 Corinthians 16:13

Thirty – A Blessing for Joy
He is the God of peace. He is the God of joy. May Emmanuel, who came to be with us, be with you in every step of this week’s journey. May you feel his presence throughout this day. And may you reflect his joy in all you do. Go with God.

“Lord, let me live so people will praise you.” Psalm 143:11

Thirty-One – A Blessing for God’s People
Now may the God of grace and peace let his face shine upon you. Be aware of his relentless tenderness and devotion to you. Sense the power of his spirit. Be kind to others as he has been kind to you. Give grace as he has given grace to you. Grant the message of salvation to someone as he has granted it to you. Go in peace.

“This promise is for you, for your children, and for all who are far away. It is for everyone the Lord our God calls to himself.” Acts 2:39

Download 31 Days of Blessings

31 Days of Blessings from Max Lucado
© 1995 by Max Lucado
Unless otherwise indicated Scripture references are from the New Century Version of the Bible, © 1987, 1988. 1991, Word Publishing.
Scripture references marked NIV are from the New International Version of the Bible, published by the Zondervan Corporation, © 1973 by the New York Bible Society. Used by permission.

In the midst of change…Hope

It’s time to check in with one of our favorite family’s.

The Collie’s wake up everyday with the intent to change the way things currently are. So much so, they are moving to Uganda.

In previous posts, What Does Hope Look Like and The Hands, Feet and Faces of Hope we focused on what Sole Hope is as a whole. I want this post to be all about the family.
Family1.~ How are you feeling right now, in this moment, about the move?  I think each person in our family is handling this change differently.  Overall we are excited, nervous and full of anticipation for the upcoming change in our lives.  

2.~ How have you and Asher prepared the children for such a drastic lifestyle change?  We talk about where we are moving-a lot. We have shown them pictures of the house we will be living in, videos and had many, many conversations about what will be different. I don’t think they will be able to wrap their minds around AFRICA until they experience it first hand.The Children ~ 4 1/2, 7 and 5 days

3.~ Have you been surprised by the support you have received? Is it more or less than you thought possible? In some ways, YES! We love to see when people show us support who were never on our radar. The encouraging words and financial support from our friends and even acquaintances has blown us away. We have learned that you cannot lump your friends and family into a category of givers, because they are your friends and family their support is not guaranteed.Community of supportIt has also been disheartening to see which friends and family really don’t show any sort of support…but we have to remember we are not doing this for them or even for our own ego. This is really not about us, but we do have to continually remind ourselves of that. We are so thankful to God for just providing for our needs daily and teaching us humility and patience through this!

4.~ If you could only list one way for people to get involved and support your mission, what would you say?  Host a shoe cutting party. This gives you a hands on way to get involved while spreading the word about Sole Hope30 pairs of shoes.Baby Shoes

5.~ How does Asher feel about taking a newborn to a country with less than Asher, Silasadequate healthcare?  

Well, scared and excited. I am excited that I get to raise this baby in a culture that I love and that he will know nothing different. There of course is also a fear of the unknown, and in some cases the known! We know of several diseases that plague Africa and we will take all the precautions we can. But, at the end of the day we know we have to trust ALL of our children to the Lord. Crazy to think-but he loves our children more than we do.  Ultimately the decision is about surrender. Surrendering our fears, our lives, our agendas and trusting in the One who called us to this special task.

Be the change6.~ What is the biggest challenge facing your family?  Change. Change is good, but change is also challenging. We also have needs that we are just trusting the Lord will meet once we get there. For example, we need a 15 passenger van to shuttle the teams that come to help Sole Hope, provide medical relief from jiggers and other daily needs. Sometimes trusting the Lord’s will is a challenge…but it is one we feel like we all should take on-even if we are not living in Africa!

7.~ Do you have any expectation of what the transition will look/feel/be like? We are trying not to have too many expectations, but we know everything about this move will be different. The weather, schooling, our work schedules, lack of family nearby, a different church family, how we prepare our food, the precautions we have to take against water, mosquito’s and other things…the list could go on. We have to remain flexible and positive.
Children of Uganda
These are a few of the precious faces that changed Dru and Asher in a way that could not be ignored. There are so many ways to get involved. You don’t have to have an extra pile of money lying around. I’m not going to be polite and say, “If you are unable to help at this time, please commit to praying.” Prayer is of the utmost importance…yes. Faith in action is even more important. So if you are hesitant, lazy, indecisive or indifferent, I’m going to pray that God moves you to action and breaks your heart for what breaks his.

In the meantime, check out our faithful family on our favorite social media
Sole Hope Facebook page. (while you’re there, click the “Like” button.)
Follow them on Twitter
annnnnnnnnd Pinterest

Now that all of our excuses have been eliminated I’m going to make it easy for you to remember the mission. Here is a downloadable PDF Sole Hope Reference Card that will attach perfectly to email, is printable for posting on the mirror, dashboard, under windshield wipers, various places in the community, on your Pinterest board, and makes for a wonderful screen saver.

So tell me, What are you waiting for? Now is the right time.”

School Massacre: 20 Children, 6 Adults killed

connecticut-school-shooting-elite-daily-31God help us. Please…help us.
There have been lives lost. Among them, innocent children.
Instead of celebrating birth this season, mothers and fathers will be mourning the loss of their child. Instead of visiting the manager, they will bury their son or daughter.
We don’t pretend to understand.
I know that vengeance is yours and still my anger burns bitterly.
God, I don’t seek answers as much as I would ask you to come quickly and save us from the atrocities of which we are capable.
We are not a people on our knees, but instead on our pedestal. It is such a long way to fall.
May you fill our hearts and our minds.
Clear away the wreckage we create.
Make us a people who love our neighbor as ourselves.
Give us faith in the midst of adversity.
Teach us how to pray, Lord.
The pain is too deep.
The wound too fresh. It gapes open, hemorrhaging.
Voices fall silent as words are not enough and at the same time, too much.
Father, for those who are mourning the loss of their loved one tonight, please comfort them. Envelope them in your peace that passes all understanding. Quiet their restless and broken heart. May your whispers of truth be a salve for their soul.
God, we need you.
Hear my cry for mercy.
Be present.
Be here.
Be stability when there is quicksand.
Jesus taught us to pray saying, “Our Father…”
We are your children and therefore come to you now, as a child to a parent, longing for reassurance and hope.
Be near to us.
Our hearts are broken for the innocence lost.
Tonight we hold our babies closer. We thank God for giving us another chance, another day, another moment with our children.

image taken from google

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I am not the number

on a scale
on a roster
of blog hits per hour
in my bank account
on my SAT
on a measuring tape
in a cell phone
at the dmv
of followers on twitter
of likes on facebook

i am breath
i am warmth
i am loved
i am chosen
i am forgiven
i am beautiful
i am passionate
i am sacred
i am treasured
i am made in the image of the God of life

i will begin living today as if i truly believe that i have a purpose
i will not focus on yesterday
i will not put my trust in tomorrow
i will live here
in this moment
in this gift
of time and energy and possibilities
here
where God is

i will not be your reason or your consequence
i will not look to you for my happiness or fulfillment
i choose to see the world through the filter of Jesus
accepting people as they are not as i think they should be
using whatever gifts i have to serve the one right in front of me
accepting my humanness as temporary and fleeting
embracing all that is holy
reflecting all that is good
absorbing all that is God

and when i fail
i will begin again
with the acute understanding that
this world is not my home
i am no longer a slave to sin
the chains that once bound me are broken
i do not work towards earthly rewards
my eyes will be fixed on eternity
on Christ
on all that is or ever will be
until at last faith becomes my sight

Five Minute Friday: Grasp

When seeing the prompt from Lisa-Jo’s Five Minute Friday post, these verses from Ephesians 3 are the first thing that came to mind. Please know that when it comes to memorizing scripture, or anything for that matter, I am just about the worst there is. I have been praying this for my children and Chris as well as close friends for more than a year and there are times when I still have to look it up to get the exact wording right.

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I love these verses. The main word in the midst of the rest is grasp.

What better way to attempt describing the word and it’s meaning than with the beach? You have the water…as far as the eye can see. The sand…too many grains to count. The sky…bigger than life.

So when I tell my boys, “Look left and look right…look up and out as far as your eyes can see. Do you see an end?” They respond quickly with their answer, “No.” I take the opportunity to explain God’s love in the best and most simple way I can, “Right. It’s like the love of the Father for each of us. Never-ending.”

When I realize the validity of this illustration, it is too much, even for me to grasp and I stand, drenched in the grace that is now my reality because of it.

Who is God?

This is the question that my 4-year-old asked on our way home from work today.

There’s nothing like that kind of question to make one realize that they don’t really know the answer.

The question that followed was of equal significance, “Does God love us?”

I have thought many times that I know who God is. Turns out I’m still learning and will hopefully continue discovering for eternity. The answer to the second question is one that I know for certain. Even when chaos abounds and sorrow seems to triumph, “Yes! God loves us!”

Several hours later, I followed the boys upstairs to put them to bed and the conversation picked right back up. “Will there be animals in heaven?” “Are there rules in heaven?” “Is everything gold in heaven?” “Can we buy a Nintendo DS in heaven?” “Do we exercise in heaven?” “Is Jesus in heaven?” “Will I be my same age in heaven?” “What if someone really old dies? How old is too old to be in heaven?”

As the questions came at me, I had to smile. In part because I didn’t know the answers to all of their questions and partly because I love that they are thinking about these things.

Eventually the more difficult questions came. Those that I too wrestle with in the dark when my thoughts are my only companion.

Mommy, what about your friend who was real sick and died.” said my 4-year-old. “Is she still sick in heaven?”

“No Darling, she isn’t. Elliot is perfectly healed and complete now.” I responded.

“How do you know?” asked my 6-year-old.

(Gulp) Well…I know because…well…because…I believe.

“Mommy. I know a baby in heaven.” said my 4-year-old.

“Which baby do you know in heaven?” I asked.

“Baby Hallie, from Miss Katie.” he responded.

It took me a moment to regain my composure. Katie and I were just talking about Hallie earlier today and what those days were like for her in the midst of uncertainty. It was a miracle that Hallie was born and the fact that she lived several days after was a gift.

“Will there be babies in heaven?” he then asked.

“Yes. I think there will be babies in heaven.” I said.

My 6-year-old chimed in, “If you die, who will be our mommy?”

Thankfully my 4-year-old was too curious to wait for my answer and launched into a new set of “Will ________ be in heaven?”

I continued answering as best I could until finally my 4-year-old said, “Can you sing now? I’m ready to go to sleep.”

I walked away feeling ill-equipped to have these conversations. If anything I caused more questions than I had answers.

I have experienced various seasons in my faith. One thing has held true. If ever there was separation, I was the instigator. If ever there was doubt, I was the first to question. Even now when trying to grasp an understanding of something so big and so far from my ability to comprehend, I find myself thinking, “Is what I believe really true?” If I think too hard or analyze too much, it does seem like the fairytale to rival all fairy-tales. Thankfully I am always snapped back into a realm compatible with my understanding. Jesus.

He was a man. Born a baby. He was grace, truth and incomprehensible love, in the flesh. He chose me. How can I not believe? When it all seems too farfetched and I begin to doubt, I turn my eyes back to Jesus. The tangible God. Is that wrong to say?

Whether one believes in Christ or not, history tells the story of Jesus. So here I sit. In a place where Jesus and faith collide and merge into one big question that my inquisitive little boys want to uncover and dissect. I will answer them the best I can and I will always point them back to Jesus.

I don’t think that God is one to be understood. Why would I want a God who is intelligible by the finite brain? I enjoy the mystery always unfolding. The twists and turns are what make this life interesting. I love viewing life and God through the eyes of a child who has yet to be influenced by the unsolicited feedback of inconsequential onlookers. Not only does it seem clearer, but the answers are not stressful. There is no argument or hostility. When they had talked enough, my little one spoke up and said he was ready to go to sleep.

I want to be more like that.

Dare I ask what your thoughts are on this? Should I open myself up to the obvious ridicule of possible responses? I think yes. Why not?