The Shadows

Posted on July 3, 2012 by Joy

Lord, I have cried out
pleading throughout the night
for Your provision
guidance and
serenity

I lay before you now
downtrodden
face to the ground
acutely aware of how unworthy I am

To even be in Your presence is
so much more than I deserve
and yet, You know that
it is the only thing sustaining me

God, I am afraid
though You clearly say that
I am not to fear what man can do
I tremble at the possibilities
that mere humans hold over me

I was so sure
Lord, was it too much
was it too little
was it all an illusion

I am angry
search me
and reveal what is in me
that’s being allowed to rise up and steal my joy

I am sad
fill me
replace my sorrow with
the security of Your faithfulness

I am confused
breathe clarity
into my circumstances
so that more will be revealed

What I once thought was silence
I now know is peace
I feel Your presence
as You lead me to the cross

That sacred ground where you took upon yourself all the evil of the world
as you were nailed to a tree created by your hands
how can I even think of
continuing to carry anything but forgiveness

You are good
even in the uncertainty of this life
You are the only honorable part
of the story

You alone know my heart
You see the ugliness that festers
I am unable to change that
without Your divine intervention

You are God
and
I am not
Thy will be done

Tell me how you really feel…

Posted on June 28, 2012 by Joy

In preparation for a workshop on beauty, I sent out a survey to 100 women between the ages of 13 and 65. When calculating the results, unfortunately, I wasn’t at all surprised by the answers.

I found it interesting that more than half of the women who responded with “Yes” to the question, “Is beauty important for your overall happiness?” apologized for it saying that they knew it was bad to make beauty a priority. Every one of them claims to be a christian. If you look just three questions before that, the #1 answer when asked “What do you think of when you hear the word beauty?” is “Nature, God, Creation.” What is there to feel guilty about or apologize for?

Clearly there is a vast difference between our definition of beauty and what we think God says about beauty. Why is that? Do you think God cares about beauty? Why or why not?

Results for “Beauty Undefined”

What do you like most about your appearance?
#1 Eyes
#2 Hair
#3 Nothing

What do you like least about your appearance?
#1 Stomach
#2 Thighs
#3 Butt

What is the one thing you would change about your physical appearance?
#1 Thinner/More toned overall
#2 Stomach
#3 Complexion

What is the first thing you see when you look in the mirror?
#1 Aging
#2 Eyes/Hair
#3 Size/Weight
(A 13 yr. old responded with, “I see God’s creation! Wow!)

What do you think of when you hear the word beauty?
#1 Nature, God, Creation
#2 Supermodel, Actress (Tall,thin, perfect hair and face)
#3 Inner beauty

What makes you feel beautiful?
#1 Dressing Up
#2 Affirmation (mainly from strangers)
#3 Husband
(A 21 year old responded that she has never felt beautiful.)

Has your dad ever said you are beautiful?
Yes 65%
No 35%

Is beauty important for your overall happiness?
Yes 92%
No 8%

How old were you when you remember first feeling self conscious?
#1 12 years old
#2 8 years old
#3 5 years old

Do the women in your life make you feel valued?
Yes 94%
No 6%

What would you tell the 5 year old you if you could go back and tell her anything?

Don’t listen to what others think, don’t let it dictate what you think of yourself.
You are going to be told A LOT about beauty and how to be beautiful. As hard as it may be, focus on the fact that God made you beautiful and that’s all that matters! God’s love is more important than anything else.
Find your beauty by looking inside not outside. True beauty starts in the heart and works it’s way out.
You’re beautiful no matter what!
Be true to yourself.
Cultivate a lifestyle of health.
People are too concerned about themselves to notice all of your flaws.
Feel beautiful for yourself on your terms. If you do it for someone else, they will take it with them when they leave.
Beauty comes from how you live and treat others. Some of the most beautiful people I know laugh a lot.
Love yourself first, be confident!
This will pass and you will be fine.
Don’t listen to the lies.

This is the 2nd post in a series of posts about beauty and body image. There will be a new post every Thursday about this subject. If you would like to join in the discussion, let me hear from you. All submissions can remain anonymous when posted by contacting me here or you may leave a comment in the section below. If you would like a pdf copy of these results, click here.

1-Minute Meditation: Merton Prayer

Posted on June 25, 2012 by Joy

In Thoughts in Solitude, Part Two,
Chapter II consists of fifteen lines that have become known as
“the Merton Prayer.”

“MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and
the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that
I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and
you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

– Thomas Merton, “Thoughts in Solitude”
© Abbey of Gethsemani
Thomas Merton
1915 ~ 1968

The Merton Prayer Translated Into Other Languages

Spanish Merton Prayer
Dios, Señor Mío, no tengo idea de adónde voy. No veo el camino ante mí. No puedo saber con certeza dónde terminará. Tampoco me conozco realmente, y el hecho de pensar que estoy siguiendo tu voluntad no significa que en realidad lo esté haciendo. Creo que el deseo de agradarte, de hecho te agrada. Y espero tener ese deseo en todo lo que hago. Espero que nunca haré algo apartado de ese deseo. Y sé que si hago esto me llevarás por el camino correcto, aunque yo no sepa nada al respecto. Por lo tanto, confiaré en ti aunque parezca estar perdido a la sombra de la muerte. No tendré temor porque estás siempre conmigo, y nunca dejarás que enfrente solo mis peligros. ···

– Thomas Merton, “Pensamientos en la Soledad”
© Abbey of Gethsemani

Portuguese Merton Prayer
SENHOR, MEU DEUS, não tenho idéia para onde estou indo. Não vejo o caminho adiante de mim. Não posso saber com certeza onde terminará. Nem sequer, em verdade, me conheço. E o fato de eu pensar que estou seguindo tua vontade, não significa que realmente o esteja. Mas acredito que o desejo de te agradar te agrada, de fato. E espero ter esse desejo em tudo que estiver fazendo. Espero jamais vir a fazer alguma coisa distante desse desejo. E sei que, se agir assim, tu hás de me levar pelo caminho certo, embora eu possa nada saber sobre o mesmo. Portanto, hei de confiar sempre em ti, ainda que eu possa parecer estar perdido e sob a sombra da morte. Não hei de temer, pois tu sempre estás comigo, e nunca hás de deixar que eu enfrente meus perigos sozinho.

– Thomas Merton Na liberdade da soli

French Merton Prayer
Seigneur mon Dieu, je ne comprends pas du tout où je vais. Je ne vois pas la route devant moi. Je ne puis savoir avec certitude où elle aboutira. Je ne me connais pas non plus en réalité, et le fait que je pense me conformer à Votre volonté ne produit ni ne signifie mon obéissance effective. Mais je crois que le désir de Vous plaire Vous plaît en effet. Et j’espère avoir ce désir en toutes mes actions. J’espère ne jamais rien faire sans ce désir. Je sais que si j’agis ainsi Vous me conduirez par le droit chemin, même si je n’en sais rien. Aussi mettrai-je toujours ma confiance en Vous, même si je me crois perdu et dans l’ombre de la mort. Je ne craindrai pas, car Vous êtes toujours avec moi, et Vous ne me laisserez jamais seul en face du danger. ···

– Thomas Merton, “Thoughts in Solitude”
© Abbey of Gethsemani
© by Edition d’Histoire et d”Art por la traduction française

Swahili Merton Prayer
Bwana Munga Wangu, sijui niendako, nashindwa kuiona njia mbele yangu, wala siwezi kujua kwa hakika kwanba njia hiyo itakomea wapi. Kwa kweli hata mimi mwenyewe sijifahamu, na yale ambayo nafikiri nafanya kufuatana na mapenzi yako, inaonekana sina hakika nayo. Lakini naamini kwamba tamaa ya kukupendeza wewe kwa kweli ninayao. Natumaini kwamba ninayo tamaa hiyo katika yote nifanyayo. Naamini kwamba sitafanya lolote nje ya tamaa hiyo, na kamwe sitafanya hivyo. Wewe utaniongoza katika njia iliyo sawa ingawa sijui lo lote. Kwa hiyo nitnakuamini daima ingawa naweza kuonekana kupotea katika kivuli cha mauti. Sitaogopa kamwe kwa kuwa wewe upo pamoja nami daima, na wala hutaniacha katika hatari peke yangu. Amina.

Translated from English into Swahili by Sr. Christa Kimashi & Sr. Frieda Kisaka

For more translations click here

It’s time to step off the scale

Posted on June 21, 2012 by Joy

If you are a parent, especially a mother to a girl, please stop and re-evaluate the dialogue you are having with yourself, your friends, your husband, the TV, the radio and especially with her.

Stop talking about your insecurities in front of your daughter. Unknowingly we project our feelings of inadequacy onto our daughters. Don’t do it! She may not acknowledge it at the time. More than likely she will remain quiet, but when she’s alone in her room, she will look at herself in a way that she has not thought about before. She doesn’t deserve that.

We have the potential to raise beautiful, secure women. We can have a great impact that is either positive or negative. In order to model a healthy image, we must work from within and stop comparing our insides to another person’s outsides.

This is no longer a silly little obsession. It is a matter of life and death.

I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Please believe me when I say that I am reminding myself here as well. I battled an eating disorder for 12 years. One that almost took my life. And yet I still find myself making derogatory comments about my body in front of my daughter.

I have to make a conscience effort not to speak negatively about any part of my body. I have to replace the thoughts in my head with statements such as these;
~ I am thankful for two legs that take me where I want to go
~ I am thankful for two arms that hold my children.
~ I am thankful for two eyes that see
~ I am thankful for two ears that hear
~ I am thankful for natural, God given lips, to speak the truth in love
~ I am thankful for a backside (or booh-tay as I like to call it) that makes long sits in folding chairs more tolerable
~ I am thankful for an abdomen stretched with signs from each pregnancy
~ I am thankful for breasts that are free of cancer and for a time sustained the life of each of my babies
~I am thankful for the fine lines that grace my eyes from years of smiling and laughing

When I stand before the mirror…fully exposed…completely naked…I say these positive affirmations out loud. Sound crazy? What’s crazy to me at this stage in my life, after all I have seen and walked through, is to accept even a fraction of the world’s view of me as valid or worthy of attention.

The following pictures are graphic and will be disturbing to some.
There is no time for sugar-coating and acting as if everything will be okay.
It’s an epidemic and the ultimate tragedy is when it claims another life.

Isabelle Caro found international fame after posing for an Italian anti-anorexia stream of billboard poster back in 2007, and she was known for her skeletal frame due to the disorder she’s been fighting against since she was 13. According to her acting coach, Caro was already sick after returning from a gig in Tokyo, and she passed away November 17, 2010. She was 28 years old.

You don’t have to agree with what I have written here, but please consider the way you are communicating with the girls/women in your life. There is a crucial need for those in recovery to speak up and share hope. This conversation has only begun.

Come to the Edge

Posted on June 14, 2012 by Joy

These early morning encounters with my Savior have become sacred.
I never would have thought that being awakened before dawn would be something I cherished or even welcomed. However, now in these moments, it feels like a personal invitation from the King to come and sit in His presence.

I have been meditating on a quote that I first heard from my dad when I was much younger. It’s by Guillaume Apollinaire;
“‘Come to the edge,’ he said.
They said, ‘We are afraid.’
‘Come to the edge,‘ he said.
They said, ‘We will fall.’
‘Come to the edge,’ he said.
They came.
He pushed them
and they flew.”

There is an edge in my life right now.
One that could be a place of great clarity and promise.
But I’m afraid.
So I sit here in the silence of early morning and ask the Father for guidance.
There is a beautiful stillness,
A comforting acknowledgement,
A desire just to be in His presence, soaking up His faithfulness.

It is a place where the only requirement is that I show up.
Nothing is demanded of me. Nothing.
There is perfect peace as I listen to the symphony of nature just outside the window.

I bring this internal stirring to the One who knows me best.
I lay it at His feet.
I will wait for direction
and in the meantime I will rest in the evidence all around and inside
of His provision, unrelenting grace and love without conditions.

Have you come to the edge of something potentially wonderful? What’s holding you back?

And then there was Grace

Image

When I’m feeling hurried and stressed by the demands that I think the world is projecting onto me and I think I will explode if I’m slowed down by one more obstacle…
…He opens up the heavens and reminds me that He knows and He cares…
this is not my home…and red lights aren’t always a bad thing.

Five Minute Friday: Expectation

Posted on June 8, 2012 by Joy

When I read the word “Expectation” as the subject for our 5 minutes together today, I immediately thought of Matthew 6. Only I couldn’t remember that it was Matthew 6 so I had to google the key words and verses. (Just keepin’ it honest with my imperfections.)

I have been thinking a great deal about nature and the way that it surrenders to the Master’s plan. The intricate detail displayed in a spider’s web is fascinating to me. Today’s post is illustrated with examples of creation and the lack of expectation as it knows the Father is taking care of every need.

^25-26“If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

^27-29“Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

^30-33“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

³⁴“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” ~Matthew 6:25-34